Justin- love, light, and healing!

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Justin is a special soul...a light in the world, an athlete, an adventurous spirit, a good friend, a huge heart. This site is meant to help keep all Justin's family and friends up-to-date with his condition and how they can stay involved with his treatment & healing journey. In November of 2012, Justin was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer which has also spread to his lymph. Due to the severity of this cancer and the unappealing treatment options that would seriously damage his quality of life, Justin has decided to follow an alternative path to healing. We hope this site will help keep him connected and allow more of us to support Justin on his path. Please follow Justin here, including any messages or information you would like to share with him. Please don't text or call, or email Justin unless it is absolutely necessary, as you can understand this whole experience is very overwhelming right now. Thank you for your kind understanding and your healing thoughts for Justin!

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Harmony Scott , 1/24/2014 9:15:11 PM UTC

It has been 5 months since Justin passed…it was one year ago that I drove him to the Denver airport to catch a flight for the Big Island of Hawai'i to begin alternative treatment for the cancer.  Getting that last big hug and kiss from him at the curb, I had to accept there was a chance I wouldn't see him again. Yet I also believed if anyone could live a miracle, it was him. And Justin did give it his best shot for that miraculous healing, but truly I think he just wanted to stay as healthy as possible, for as long as possible.  To enjoy life.  To swim the lava coastlines with the dolphins and the manta rays.   To dive off the highest cliff he could find, and walk next to fresh lava flows on a few centimeters of volcanic crust. To charm and tease the hippie mothers at the Farmer's Market, and pick avocados with their kids. And he did, up to the last moments he was able.  Beautifully. 

 

As you all know, Justin wasn't a moderate person. He was excessive, larger than life, strong, wild, and fun.  The word "extreme" definitely described him at times.  When I teased him he could be a "Drama Queen" and a "Diva" he just laughed, because he knew it was true.  But Justin played all the notes in life- he could also be quiet, reverent, soft, gentle, kind, and deep. For such a wild and wooly hippie/surfer/athlete/carpenter he could be very elegant, very intuitive. And his sense of design and environment were defining…and legendary.  He was a fine craftsman, and our house in Bali was his final testament to his high level of aesthetic design. He was an amazing athlete, powerful and strong in so many disciplines. His parties rocked!  He could create an environment for fun, or a "nest" for comfort, or an experience of adventure.  Anyone who rode his death defying teeter-totter or the rope swing that nearly launched you across the valley and towards Highlands Bowl knows what I mean.  And Justin made 6'4" on the dance floor look damn good and funky, he could certainly cut a rug! Yet despite how crazy he could be, Justin would also make sure people got home safe after a night partying, in Carbondale he would deliver drunk-ass people to their door on his hand painted Javanese rickshaw.  Justin would be the first to steal a kiss from the ladies, yet defend their honor and boundaries from any men without respect. Yes, we all knew and loved him for these qualities.  But what I want to discuss here is much deeper than that. This is going to get personal, and a bit touchy-feely…so bear with me or sign off now. Just warning you.

 

Over the last five years Justin struggled with health issues that many people didn't know about.  He suffered a lot, and hid it pretty well. He was a complex dude.  As open as he could be, his inner struggles were very private. Justin wanted people to remember him in his strength, his power, and his positive light.  This was so important to him, that he would rather hide away than reveal his vulnerability. We went through some very dark times together.  He struggled through some very painful times alone, not wanting to show or share his pain.  But through it all he kept giving.  He gave it all, down to the last moment on this earth.  Justin gave his courage, his strength and his capacity for love and joy.  Although he often couldn't give it to himself, he most certainly would always give this powerful energy to those around him, be they old friends or momentary acquaintances. And he gave it to me. Always.  

 

Justin was a teacher in my life.  He believed in me when I didn't know how to believe in myself. He challenged and encouraged me. He also frustrated the hell out of me because he saw my gifts and pushed me to embody them fully.  But in our 16 years of love and friendship I think I learned the most from Justin when I really consciously observed how he interacted with the world.  The people he would meet each day- friends or strangers- were impacted by him in a very interesting way.  He had a profound ability to connect with people on a deep and authentic level, he knew how to crack people's shell- whether they wanted it or not.  Justin could open them and create a peak experience- just with his heart, energy and presence. From little babies to grandmas- people fell in love with Justin. In my view, the triumph and the tragedy in Justin's life story is that he had so much love to give, and somehow couldn't love himself…so he gave it to the world instead. 

 

In this dichotomy, Justin helped me experience what unconditional love truly is…love that is challenged time and again by pain, disappointment, illness, sadness…love that accepts those human frailties and continues to grow and evolve in our hearts, continues to flow. He showed me through his presence and his actions that joy and love can be cultivated in the darkest of times, to be a constant fire illuminating and nourishing us.  I am not saying he taught me this just by embodying it, but also where he resisted and refused it- sometimes strongly.  He was so much more comfortable giving than receiving authentic love, this warts-and-all LOVE.  Because it was difficult for him to show his pain, his confusion, his fear…Justin kept the world and even his closest friends from loving him back. Somehow he believed his only value was in his light, his joy, his golden energy.  And if he couldn't give that fully, then his life had less value. I understand this.  I think we all feel that at times, I certainly have.  But I want to challenge this!  I invite everyone reading this to think deeply about how we do this to ourselves. Is our only value in our light? If we project a "perfect" exterior are we better humans?  Do we need to hide our true selves to ensure the world's love and our own self-acceptance?  My answer is NO.  

 

In the suffering and pain that Justin and I went through together I learned that by cultivating and allowing our vulnerability and our authenticity we open ourselves to be truly supported and loved by the world, and to honestly love ourselves.  This True Love is the ground inside each of us that we can trust- it is personal, it is powerful, it is universal.  Unconditional love may be challenged time and again, by pain, disappointment, illness, sadness…but there is room for these human frailties and this authentic love continues to bloom our hearts open, continues to flow all around us. It may be the scariest thing on the planet for someone as strong and powerful as Justin to be vulnerable and authentic about his darkness and pain…but maybe we can learn through him that it is necessary to share this part too. None of us are perfect, but we are all capable of and deserving of unconditional love. If we can give, we must learn to receive…or we will drain our energy to the point that depression and finally illness takes away our vital spark.  

 

This energetic fire, our birthright, must be consciously nurtured.  We have to OPEN to this energy.  We have to choose to give it away time and again, be able to receive when it is offered, and most importantly (and most difficult) to offer it to ourselves first, and to ASK for love and support when we need it. I know now, that a broken heart is an open heart.  Justin's passing broke my heart wide open.  I am now a stronger vessel.  I am able to hold an infinite flow of love, this I have come to accept and honor.  If I feel any scarcity in my life, I simply need to touch into this truth to be reminded of my capacity for joy no matter what. Now I deeply know that as long as I choose to open to love--along with the pain, and the sadness-- there will be light, there will be healing, there will be transformation.  If I can have gratitude for this experience of being broken open deeply, be in that space and just hold it tenderly, the energy will shift, I will learn and soften into wisdom, and I will receive tremendous blessings. 

 

This experience with Justin taught me I must continually and consciously choose to open, to connect, to share, to receive and most of all to love and appreciate myself as the vessel that holds and channels this love into the world.  Justin's life and death showed us all how transformative, how powerful, how exciting one big guy using the power of Love and Joy like a laser beam could change the world- one person at a time. How much more powerful and healthy this world would be if we could also honor our sadness and darkness with honesty and clarity. To be grateful for all the emotions in our lives. Because until we accept both sides and all shades of gray, we will be cutting ourselves off from the full-spectrum of being human. I invite us all to live from our soft and tender heart while still being strong and capable, and honor and love those places where we are still small, afraid and contracted.  Vulnerability and authenticity is beautiful, and it creates a doorway into a joyful and balanced life. 

 

At the memorial party in September, Justin's friends and family gathered together.  In his last week of life, and even his last hours, Justin made it crystal clear that he wanted us to be together to celebrate each other, and our connection with him.  He wanted his friends to meet his beautiful and strong mother Marcia, and for her to be supported by all those hearts together.  We gathered because Justin touched us in our own unique way, but we also gathered to connect to each other- friends new and old and "spread the joy!"  On that day I saw and felt that sacred space, the beautiful "broken open" quality that grief and joy are uniquely capable of creating. And I want to remind all of us to keep going with this energy, keep deepening our connection to our own hearts and those in the world around us. Every time the pain of the world seems too much, maybe it is a cause to rejoice a little bit, because as our hearts break open we can share our light in the world in a more profound way.  We can be honest with ourselves and others.  We can begin to support each other instead of compete against each other.  We can be tender instead of tough, caring as well as capable. Vulnerable and resilient.  And we can learn to truly love and value ourselves- dark and light- and share that sacred truth with the world.  Thank you for listening and sharing this with me. 

 

Namaste.  Aloha.  Blessings.  Love and Light! 

- Harmony

Harmony Scott , 9/28/2013 4:07:13 PM UTC

Q-Do I have to pay to ride gondola up?
A-No, just say you are in "Justin's memorial party" and you can ride for free.

Q- Is it OK to bring my kids?
A- Yes, just make sure to feed them, bring picnic or eat at the sundeck restaurant (open till 3) the Justin's sundeck party is from 2-6...there will be loud rock and roll- and lots of adults enjoying themselves FYI. After Party at Eric's will not be for kids, sorry.

Q- Is there a service?
A- No, Justin wanted us to gather in a spirit of celebration...so our getting together to spread love and joy, stories and laughter (and some tears) will be our tribute.

Q- Is it still potluck?
A- NO! Sorry, but sundeck doesn't want all the mess...so we will have the restaurant open until 3 and some light snacks up there...feel free to bring picnic lunch for yourself. Afterparty at Eric's will have more food available.

Q- Where is afterparty?
A- Eric's Bar! 6-9:30 or so...there will be food and drink available. And DANCE to DJ Phractyl Pterodactyl

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Harmony Scott , 9/17/2013 5:23:03 PM UTC
*Justin's "Spread the Joy" Party Time Change!* We will be starting Sundeck Party at 2pm on Sunday Sept 29th!!! So people can eat at sundeck restaurant- There will be no gondola upload charge for Justin's Friend's attending the party*
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Harmony Scott , 9/12/2013 2:22:53 AM UTC

Please join us to celebrate and appreciate the very special life of our dear Brother Justin. Join us Sunday, September 29th from 4-6:30 pm at the Sundeck, top of Aspen Mountain. Take the Gondola up, bring a dish to share, and your best Justin memory and/or photo. Live music will be provided by Jes Grew and Friends....After Party will take place at Eric's Bar in Aspen from 6:30 till close...food & drink specials will be provided.

Friends and family from all over will be gathering to hug, share, dance, laugh, and "spread the joy"! Justin's last request was that all his friends and family gather together, not in mourning, but in celebration & gratitude for this incredible spirit, and how he has touched us all...Spread the Joy and Spread the WORD!

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Harmony Scott , 9/7/2013 12:45:59 AM UTC

Save the Date! Details are still being ironed out, but we have chosen September 29th as the date for friends and family to gather to celebrate Brother Justin's amazing life...we will hold the main gathering on top of Aspen Mountain at the Sundeck 4-7pm, with after-party to be determined. As I sat with Justin on his final days, it was his deepest wish that his many dear friends gather together for a final blow-out celebration, to meet his dear Mother Marcia Doty and the rest of his family...and for all to Spread The JOY!!! More details soon, but please spread the word so people can make arrangements...love & light...

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Harmony Scott , 8/28/2013 6:55:15 PM UTC

Dear friends, our beautiful and brave Brother Justin passed this morning...I sat with him and reminded him over and over how loved he is by so many, what a strong warrior he has been. He truly wanted people to remember to "Spread the Joy" - he was a force of nature and the joy he shared with so many lives on and on...let us all hold that brilliant sunshine of joy in our hearts, and remember to spread it to all we meet on our precious journey of life.  Please think of him with peace for this final journey...he loved you all so very much!

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Harmony Scott , 8/21/2013 12:12:02 AM UTC

I am writing this on behalf of Justin...he is so grateful for all your good energy, prayers, well-wishes...he has decided to go "off the grid" for this month, to simplify and be quiet.  Please do not text or call or email, just know that he is thinking of all of you with love.  He is grateful for all his amazing friends...but just needs privacy and peace right now.  Thank you for understanding. 

love and light, 

Harmony

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Harmony Scott , 5/22/2013 12:32:55 AM UTC
BENEFIT FOR JUSTIN IN SAN FRANCISCO!!! Please save the date! Friday, July 12th, 8:00PM BRICK @ MORTAR MUSIC HALL 1710 Mission Street San Francisco, CA 94103 $20 ADV - $25 DOS http://www.brickandmortarmusic.com/ Greetings Family and Friends, I am happy to announce a fundraiser/benefit concert for Justin on Friday, July 12th, 8:00PM @ Brick & Mortar Music Hall, SF. San Francisco's own New Dealers will reunite for one evening to benefit our very good friend in the best way we know how, through music... All 9 players, our sound engineer and production staff have graciously volunteered their time and efforts to make this event possible. The Brick and Mortar Music Hall (Michael O'Connor & Jason Perkins) have been extremely generous in giving us 100% of the ticket sales. We encourage you to buy your tickets in advance (this will most likely sell out) and consider purchasing a ticket even if you can not attend this event as all proceeds will be going to benefit our incredible friend Justin. To purchase advance tickets please visit: http://www.brickandmortarmusic.com/event/282963-new-dealers-san-francisco/ In addition to having musical entertainment we will also have a silent auction. If anyone has suggestions for goods and services that can be donated please feel free to contact me directly and we will coordinate. Justin has many great friends that have been working hard to make this happen. With everyone's participation this will be a huge success!! Thank you~ Jeff Herrera jtrump007@sbcglobal.net
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Harmony Scott , 4/18/2013 6:57:47 PM UTC

Well, the dust has settled and I wanted to thank everyone for all their amazing help in making the benefit such a huge success.  We raised over $36,000 so Justin can focus on his healing, and not stress over how he is going to pay to keep his health and wellbeing, while planning the next round of treatment. Justin is deeply touched by your love and support, and feels the positive energy everyday...thank you.  It was a great party to honor our dear Brother Justin, and many good friends got to embrace, share stories, dance, and celebrate. As Justin would say "Tik-haw!!! Tik-haw!!"

I wanted to give a shout-out to everyone who made it possible...it just flowed beautifully from start to finish and goes to show what can be accomplished when people pull together for a common cause. Tracey Mishel was my angel for the silent auction, tirelessly organizing and following up on a million and one details...also Pam Herr for jumping in with her expertise and confident leadership on the auction and over-all production start-to-finish. Thanks to Betsy Sheridan, Mike Tanguay, & Karen all for helping with the silent auction.  

The food was amazing! Thanks to JP, Al Kokish, Mike Mishel, Marshman, Terrance McGuire & Janet Madden for making and serving a delicious feast for the hordes of hungry people.  It was gourmet and wonderful!  You guys were the first to jump on board and let me know this party was do-able...you inspired me and made me believe it was possible.  Thank you for everything!

Thanks to Andre Mpitsos, Andy Davies & Shelley Meister for making sure the door went smoothly and handling all the money for donations & silent auction.  You guys rocked!

The MUSIC was super cool...thanks to Josh Phillips and Rhonda RToo Roberts for helping get the musical acts organized...and then Rockin' it out with Steve Cook, Roxy Cox, Suzanne Paris, and all the fabulous members of Jes Grew...you guys kept the spirits high and everyone dancing until the end.  

Finally, thanks to the Mountain Chalet for the generous use of their room- it was such a perfect venue for a gathering of friends and family.  Adrianne helped us make sure it was perfectly executed and generously donated her time and efforts as well.

Brent Moss took amazing photos!  I will be posting those soon...thank you so much to both Brent and beautiful Jenn Moss for creating our fabulous fliers to get the word out about the benefit.  

I know I am forgetting a ton of people...I apologize.  It was truly a group effort to make this happen...and Justin is so touched by your outpouring of love and support.  

Thank you....Harmony

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Harmony Scott , 4/7/2013 4:17:30 AM UTC

HELLO MY FRIEND

ITS ME - "BROTHER JUSTIN"

ITS UNBELIEVABLE HOW YOU MAKE  ME FEEL.

I AM SO PROUD OF YOU ALL.

 AND I AM TRUELY HONORED TO BE YOUR FRIEND. 

YOU ARE SUCH GOOD PEOPLE .

YOU HAVE FILLED  ME UP WITH SO MUCH LOVE, IT JUST KEEPS ON OVERFLOWING IN THE FORM OF TEARS...........

I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!

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