I am still getting used to my new life. Although i know it’s temporary, it takes some getting used to. I don’t have the freedom to move about that I had before. Everything is done based on what is allowed and what is not. During the chemo and radiation treatment because of how the treatment works, I have to be careful. A common cold can become something else. Chemo works by targeting and destroying fast growing and dividing cells. Cancerous cells divide and grow quickly but there are other cells in the body that do the same. Red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets are some of these types of cells. My ability to fight infections is compromised. So a quick trip to a store becomes a challenge. I have to wash my hands constantly. I must wash my teeth after every meal and use an extra soft toothbrush. A simple cut can be problematic. For 48 hours after the pump is disconnected, I still have chemo in my body, so I have to be careful not to vomit or when using the bathroom not to splash. It is advisable not to go out in the sun for too long because sunburn is a possibility. Since I have the port I cannot lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.
‘There are so many things we take for granted that when our ability to do these things is taken away it is hard. Facebook is my new way to go out. I see where folks are going and what folks are doing. Is it the same, nope but it’s good to see people going about their normal life.
‘When the radiation phase begins it will further limit what I can do because I have to go for treatment everyday if only for 5 to 8 minutes. I had the choice of having the chemo and radiation treatments in Killeen but I decided to go to temple. I have been dealing with the people in temple and have gotten used to them. In that respect I am a creature of habit. Once I feel comfortable with something I don’t like to change it unless absolutely necessary. The medical staff in temple have been. Very good to me. I can feel their genuine care and concern and that means a lot. Not to take away from the staff in Killeen which I have met since that’s where I have the pump taken out. But it’s not the same for me.
All this time I have been writing about me, me, me and not about anyone else. This has affected my family greatly but their side of the story is theirs to tell. I know how hard it has been for them. It pains me to be so fragile and so dependent. Especially when it comes to my wife. I always tried to make life easier for her. Now I can’t even do simple things. I try to be as independent as I can so she can get a break, talk to friends and family, go out to visit someone. I like it when people call her and ask how she is doing because she needs that. Just as the patient needs support, the caretakers need it also.
‘On the 26th is my next chemo infusion. Radiation should start early next month. I’m still trying see us when the treatments will end. I need to plan my next fishing trip, my next road trip, my next cruise, my next car show, the rest of my life.
take care folks. Until the next post.