Late Entry~ Thoughts of each of You~
This morning I am sitting in our little dinning-room in the front of our little mobile home. I am listening to the rain and Gary sharing one of his fondest childhood memories. He has gone back to sleep and I find my mind drifting to all of you and how long it has been since I have written.
This Tuesday Gary finished round three of Chemotherapy. He is holding up well and as we have been praying it appears that the tumors may be shrinking as he is able to tolerate liquids. He has not thrown up for several days....Praise the Lord with me!!! It is mainly clear liquids, he has tolerated other foods but not without pain so we continue to praise God for the answered prayers and we keep taking baby-steps.
One of the huge lessons we are learning is to stop everyday and evaluate what is important. When someone is battling Cancer and/or taking care of someone who is, everyday must start with this very important question. There are awesome handouts from the Cancer Center that has helped us implement this question but along with that I find a quiet morning time with the Lord as meaningful and He alone can help us trust him with the many details we cannot get to today.
So today as I am thinking about the many things that need to be done, Gary's care, care of the home, insurance details, financial details, family, friends...etc....I stop and come before the Lord, I take out the long and undo-able To Do list, and I lay it at the foot of the cross. I pick it back up and I ask the Lord, my loving father who loves to teach me and guide me, to show me what I must do, the energy to do it and the courage to leave the other details to Him. I am always relieved at what he asks me to do and how he can and will care for the rest.
In two weeks they will be taking a two week break from the Chemo and evaluating how Gary is doing and what to do next. Gary weights 135 pounds and we are in need of seeing a weight gain. Also in two weeks we will be seeing a medical doctor here who specializes in building up cancer patients immune systems, and implements many of the same treatments as Dr. Winkler did with Gary.
Another lesson we have learned is that God can and will use all means of medical care and we are to walk where He leads. We have come to be grateful for both the traditional and alternative medicines and a God who provides and heals.
Gary and I are grateful for each of you that have joined TEAM BARTON, we cannot not and have not fought this battle alone. Today we want you each to know that we love you and Gary is able again to read your posts and notes!!!
So now I am going to take that long list sit before the Lord, thank Him for each one of you and rest in all that he has for us today. Will you join me?
Blessings,
Dawn
Prayer requests, wisdom regarding insurance decisions that need to be made, a quick sale of our Palm Springs home. Gary's tumors to continue to shrink, Gary to gain weight, and for us to have a heart of praise, we know God will be pleased in all that we ask and He alone will provide abundantly, through each of your prayers!
Comments (22)
Hi Dawn: So glad to hear that Gary can at least drink liquids now. We will be praying for all of your listed requests. Please know that you two are never far from my thoughts. I hope you have a good visit with Greg. Gary was reminiscing about childhood memories; I find myself doing that more and more. I wish all five kids could be together and sing together. It was a privilege to sing with my sibs. There just isn't anything like it. Tell Gary I want to resurrect some of the old Salt Company songs. Love you guys.
Praying with you, Gary and Dawn!
Lifting you both right now, Dawn! Glad that HE is telling you what's doable for today. Asking for wisdom and energy in the decisions you have to make.
Praying with you and for you. You are and continue to be an inspiration in my life and all you are handling. God Bless You .......The Volleyball girls are sure missing you Gary! Stay Strong...We Believe in you!
I continue to pray for you and your family. Your faith and hope are remarkable! I learn something from you every time I read one of your posts. God bless you and protect you and your family. Joan Taketa
Your posts are inspirational Dawn how we must lay it all down at Jesus's feet and find peace in that. We all have burdens, struggles, battles we are fighting but knowing God is our go to, it gives hope. Thank you for sharing your heart. Sending you and Gary love and wisdom.
Gary and Dawn, you and your family are so often in my thoughts and prayers and I'm so thankful to know God is holding you, leading and guiding you on this journey. He is Faithfull!
Praying for you and with you Auntie. Thank you for taking the time yo update us. You're always on mind and in my prayers. Love and hugs to you both.
Your love for each other is inspiring. God Bless you both and we will continue to pray.
Dawn, as I read your posts I want you to know you are in our hearts and prayers every day. The courage to face this battle can only lead you on your knees to pray and keep praying. You are an amzaing woman and such a warrior for God. We will pray for all that is listed and we know God can move mountains and he is the only one who is able to keep you and Gary moving forward. We love you guys and we are sending our love to your family WE BOTH HAVE SEEN MIRACLES HE HAS DOWN IN OUR FAMILIES!!!!! Hugs
The incense of you praise reaches the heart of God. He is blessing you daily as you bless us by your faith. I am praying for you along with all your friends and family. "And God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you, always having all sufficiency in all things, may have an abundance for every good work." 2 Cor. 9:8
Hi Dawn and Gary. You have been on my heart and the phrase that has been going through my mind all morning is "Fear Not". Love you!
Thanks for the update, Dawn. It's a long road, Gary, but day by day you are making progress and we are so grateful for that. We continue to pray for you both and look forward to hearing each little shred of good news.
Thank you for your beautiful example in this journey and sharing with us. We prayed for you along with Cathy Kingham who truly graced us with a visit yesterday. God will and is doing Great things for you "special friends."
Prayers are coming your way from Colorado. I'm with Chris and would love to hear that all you sibs were together and singing again. There is nothing like singing God's praises together with family and it is something I miss too! Praising God keeps me going from day to day!
Prayers for Gary and family, always in our thoughts! God is sometimes not easy to understand, but we will pray!
We are thinking and praying for your full recovery Gary. Keep on fighting the battle and NEVER give up! Photias Pham
Little did I know that I would be learning from you during these posts. :) You are blazing a trail ahead of us. Merrill's not willing to go to the extremes you folks have (wants me to continue working, for example, as that's the only way we have insurance), but he gets his port installed week after next for chemotherapy. We have our first appointment with the oncologist next week. News of his cancer came while I was already over the top - in the midst of a couple of weeks of extreme crisis with two conflicting deadlines at work plus a mom care deadline thrown in. So I'm being reminded by you of something I did briefly in the past and need to start doing again: hold that every-increasing, increasingly undoable do list before the Lord and ask for His wisdom and guidance. I sure can't do it myself (even before mom care and hubby cancer). Thanks, Dawn. So glad Gary's keeping clear liquids down and not throwing up. It may sound like a baby step, but it's BIG. :) My dad never got back to that point with his blockage and chemo. Glad the variety of therapies and prayer are working. Merrill's doing well - they got all the colon cancer out, and he doesn't have to have an ostomy bag (nothing short of a miracle, the surgeon said - it was in a different location than it seemed on CT and MRI scans). The chemo is for the large lesions on the liver (asymptomatic) -- too large for other types of treatment at this time. We serve a great God. He gives us moments of encouragement in our crises; He heals; He uses all of these difficulties to build something solid, beautiful, and useful in us; He doesn't waste our sorrows. One of my sustaining scriptures when going through hard times is Romans 8:28 We know that all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. We KNOW! :) Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. :) 1 Peter 4:1 Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin,
Your sharing of your journey with cancer has been nothing short of amazing. You might not know this but through your pain and suffering you have been ministering to others. It is a testimony to the Lord that even through this trial you have unending faith and love for Him and each other. Praying for you constantly.
Dawn, You are ministering to me too! Reading how God is blessing you both through this journey is such an encouragement. I appreciate what you said about laying your bills/insurance and all at the feet of your Father. It is a great picture and reminder. I also teared up when reading Chris' note. The kids all singing together.... Oh the memories Chris and I have! Gary was in there too...thank you for pouring yourself out there and letting us learn from you too!
Dawn, today the seriousness of our situation has hit - at least a little - and I have found myself feeling it's really important to spend time reminiscing with Merrill (and recording to preserve the memories) about the various funny and trying things that have happened in our lives, favorite sayings and the movies and events from which they sprang, etc. I lost some of my memories a couple of years ago when I had those surgeries; my mom has dementia; my memory's already spotty; and I don't want to forget the things that were special to us -- the things that contributed to us being "us." :) I'm trying to regain the optimism I had during my other crises, but regardless, I want to do this "just in case" while he's well enough to participate. I thought of you concurrently, and just wanted to pass along the idea in case you hadn't thought to do it. Whether he goes or not, I will have those memories to review and even to share with others who love Merrill and me. :) Love you folks.
Gary there are just no words to say that can express how sad Tom and I are right now.Al and Lynn are also so so sad to say goodbye and send so much love. You're the nicest person we know Gary. We are thinking and praying for you every minute. We love you so much.