Update
Hi friends and family, I have had several days off from work to spend time with my mom and dad. I have a better grasp of what's going on so I wanted to write an update. Dad has a G-Tube in his stomach that is supposed to suck the stomach fluids out and into a plastic container. This G-Tube is very important because if it doesn't work dad has to throw up several liters of this harsh stomach fluid everyday. This is dangerous! If he swallows the fluid down the wrong pipe he will aspirate like last time he was in ICU. The doctor that put the tube in has said there is nothing else he can do, leaving dad to vomit large amounts of fluid. We have sat patiently for several day with no answers to why he can't fix the tube. The oncologist has held off chemo because of the dangers of vomiting so much. However, he decided to start chemo treatment tomorrow with the hopes the it will clear his bowels enough to get the G-Tube to work. We are praying for this to happen and for the tumors to respond to the chemo. Tomorrow, Monday, we will aggressively seek treatment from a cancer center like the University of San Fransisco which is a top 5 cancer center in the world for traditional treatment and because of the location his insurance should accept. Other options are, City of Hope, UCLA and Stanford. Please pray that dad can get the best treatment possible. To me UCFS seems to be the best bet and its location is great. Pray that tomorrow we will talk to people who we find favor with and are willing to help us. Pray that we find the right doctors and the best treatment wherever that may be. It would be a miracle to find a surgeon who would be willing to operate and attempt to cut out the tumors and chemo wash the cancer. This would be an effective way to deal with so much cancer but one of the top surgeons has said he could not operate. This a difficult time for us all, to see someone you love suffering so badly. My mom is overwhelmed with grief at the thought of living the rest of her life with out her husband. In such severe grief and pain common Christian phrases and highly quoted scripture seems to fall dead on the heart. 'All things work together for good' is no comfort when your husband and dad is being torched to death. God often feels distant in the midst of great suffering. David cried out in Psalm 10:1 "Why Lord do You stand so far off ? Why do You hide Yourself in times of trouble?" Mahalath writes in Psalm 88 "Lord You are the God who saves me. Day and night I cry out to You. May my prayer come before You; turn Your ear to my cry. I am overwhelmed with trouble and my life draws near to death... But I cry to You for help Lord; in the morning my prayer come before You. Why Lord do You reject me and hide Your face from me? Job cries out to the Lord in 30:20 "I cry out to You, God, but You do not answer; I stand up but You merely look at me." Even Jesus, facing the pain caused from separation from the Father ask if there was any other way. C.S. Lewis communicates this beautifully when he said "We are not necessarily doubting if God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best would be." Sayings like "God is good" or, "He will bring good out of this", even "trust in God, He is in control" can be offensive during times of great grief and can cause someone to feel guilty over not feeling any good at all. God has revealed through His Word and gave the ultimate example during His life on earth that it is normal and ok to morn and be overwhelmed by grief in times of great trouble. Jesus was so overwhelmed He almost died in the garden. So our family is morning a great tragedy and praying for a life to be saved. But for now it is very hard for my mom and others from being so overwhelmed by grief.
Comments (17)
Thank you Caleb for the update. Please give your Mom and Dad a huge hug from us. We can't imagine what you and your family are going through, but please know your all loved and we will always have a special place for the Barton family In the Diaz family hearts. Love and take care Caleb, Alex & Mel
We pray from the depths of our hearts for Gary and your family With love and prayer Hank and Lori and family
Caleb, thank you for this update. Your words convey the grit and soul with which Gary is fighting, as well as your family's frustration in knowing there is so little you can do to help. Please know our heartfelt prayers continue that God's healing hands will touch Gary, give doctor's wisdom and bring the comfort so important for Dawn. May God bless you all.
I can't imagine how hard this is on all of you. Lifting you all now and asking Father to meet you where you are and hold you close.
Caleb, your word at this time is "apples in gold" and the two of you are just what Dawn and Gary need, I am sure. Yes, Christians try to hep by sharing scriptures, but sometimes we need to sit by and cry together. I have not given up, nevertheless, and will keep pounding the gates. Thanks for being there for your mom.
Sending hugs and love to all of you! Praying you all will feel the love and comfort of The Lord during these difficult times. Continuing to pray for complete healing for your precious husband and dad.
Caleb, Thank you. I know this is hard. Thank you for being so transparent and helping us to see and understand the heartache. I woke at 4:00am praying for your dad and mom and the family. WE love you all and continue to lift you all up to the Great Physician. God will bless you all. Praying for wisdom and comfort and healing. Jim and Roann Keen
"The two shall become one." Your mom is not only mourning/struggling with the possible loss of her best friend, the love of her life, or her "other half" (which sounds external), but also of half of her (very much internal) as the two have become one. A very great struggle, indeed. And so hard for all of you to see someone you love so much go through all this and nothing you can really do to improve it yourselves except pray, love, be there, try to keep him comfortable, and try to get him the best help possible -- hard work, which you all are doing very well. Love and hugs to all of you. --Linda Seroy
My Father in law preached years ago about the account in Mark of 4 men going to great lengths to carry the paralytic man on a stretcher to Jesus. I often think of that when I am personally in need of "stretcher bearers", not those who will leave me where I am and tell me about Jesus, but those who will carry me to Jesus by praying with and for me, and by being His hands and feet in tangible ways when I am paralysed, by my extreme grief, exhaustion and personal pain and unable get there myself. Coming alongside to bear your stretcher Gary.
My deep concern continues, my love for you all is present, and my continued prayers are flowing. Thank you for your honest letter Caleb. You are a blessing to your family and an excellent spokesman for your parents during this time of fret, heartache and despair. I send my heartfelt love and hope during this devastating time. I pray for glimpses and rays of peace and comfort for each and every one of you. Much Love.
Thanks for the update Caleb. My heart breaks for you all as you walk through this terrible time of suffering and grief. Please know you are all loved, prayed for and certainly not forgotten. Continuing to pray, pray, pray.
Thank you so much for the update... Mark and I too are mourning this tragic journey. Please let us know how we can help.
prayers being lifted...through the "fog"... here's a little verse that always makes things a little clearer... "I love the LORD, because He listens to my prayers for help. He paid attention to me, so I will call to Him for help as long as I live." Psm. 116:1 We don't pray in vain to a god with no feelings. Instead, God not only hears us, but His Spirit prays for us 24/7 with "groanings that cannot be uttered." We love you... Randy and Sue
Thank you Caleb, Your honest expression of love and grief is appreciated more than you know. All of us have been or will be in a situation where we need to remember what you have expressed so well. I remember Roy Kraft telling me once, "There are some things in life you just have to live through". "Like a long tunnel the only way out is the other end and it get really dark in the middle." I am praying for comfort and strength for your folks and all the family . Etta Mae
Thank you Caleb for the update. I have been in constant prayer and especially this morning as your Dad gets this Chemo. It is so hard to see someone we love have to walk such a journey as your Dad is going through. Praying for an extra measure of strength for each of of and for your getting the right appointment with the right doctors. So glad that you are able to be with your Mom at this time. I love you all so very much. Linda
Caleb, Our prayers are for comfort for Gary and the Barton family. Gary has always been a servant and we surely wonder why he is going through this. Thank you for keeping us informed.
We know about Gary's strength and hard work capacity, like few others. No one could be pressing forward with more resolve than Gary Barton. Thank you Gary. We loved playing (VB)ball with you in the "old" days : )! You are revealing your great character now in this time of great suffering. This is a wonderful time to read the Psalms with the emphasis in song/music. Psalm 91 "...I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in Him will I trust." (v.2) Psalm 103 "Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord O my soul,and forget not all His benefits." (v.1,2) Psalm 121 "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills. From whence cometh my help? My help cometh from the Lord who made heaven and earth." (v.1,2) Psalm 145 "Great are you O Lord, and highly to be praised. And His greatness is unsearchable." (v. 3) Psalm 96 "For all the gods of the peoples are idols, but the Lord has made the heavens." (v.5) and so much more... All our love and prayers. the Pete's