Courage and Hope
Courage and Hope... I can tell you these words have run through my mind several times each day since I wrote you last.
It appears that God is calling Gary home for his final healing.
During the last very long hospital stay Gary's body began to shut down and by the time we arrived home he was and is not able to keep anything down. His body has stopped eliminating completely, therefore Hospice was called in and we are working closely with them.
This was a very quick turn of events and yet God has been faithful in so many ways, someday I will write and be able to give Him all the Glory for the miracles, I am grateful I know that time is coming.
Courage, the decision to accept that God is calling you home and even supporting those around you as they work towards the acceptance of allowing someone they love to be called home to Glory. Gary grows weaker each day, but each day has been full of family, talking, crying and comforting, many times Gary comforting us.
Hope, the one and only hope that has sustained us throughout the many ups and downs of this trial and experience. Knowing that God has promised to work all things together for good. Each day Gary and I start the day with a time of devotion and prayer. Each day we have reminded each other that God has promised to use the pain of this cancer for good and what a promise that is ~ Hope.
There is so much more I wish I could write, but my hands are shaking over the keyboard realizing that I am writing to you as my precious husbands life draws nearer to Heaven and his real home.
Staying focused on caring for my dear husband and caring to our day to day responsibilities have been a challenge for me but I have received so much help from so many people. Gary has had peace in knowing that things are in order.
There has been one family who I will not name that has helped us pay our Palm Springs home monthly expenses and so we have not lost it or had to worry about it as we wait for the Lord to sell it. Thank you. In the meantime others told us that they would kick up the praying for the sale of our house and as of today the house is in escrow with a back up offer. Thank you Jesus.
Our health insurance coverage changed several times during the last few months due to circumstances beyond our control. These changes have left us with some significant medical bills , due to new co-pays and deductibles.
I have applied for several assistance programs and received a lot of help, however the remaining balances are pretty significant at this time and so I have listed the needs on Gary's current donation page. Other needs are expenses that are being incurred as part of Gray's end of life expenses, I have listed those costs as well.
I can hardly believe I am wiring to you, talking to you about such personal and intimate things and yet I know that in order for the Lord to receive the honor and glory I must remain open and honest with Him and with each of you.
The reason I am able to sit here, hearing distance from the man I have loved for over thirty years, and write you with the peace that God promises is because of each of you, your prayers, love and support.
My heart is completely broken and yet I feel so honored to have this precious time with my precious husband, talking to each other about what heaven will be like while praising God with our tears.
Gary has and will continue to be an example of a fight well fought all the way to Heaven.
Blessing,
Dawn
Comments (30)
Love and peace be with Gary and your entire family Dawn. Thinking of you all daily.
I continue to pray for your family during this difficult time. Mel
I cannot tell you how much I admire your courage and faith. I know it is the Lord that has carried you, Gary and your family thru this time. Please know that I am continuing to pray for a covering of the Peace of God over all of you. Love to all of your family. Etta Mae
Gary, Dawn, and family, Today I pray for the arms of God to wrap all of you tightly as you begin to say goodbye to this life, as each of you know it, and embrace things to come. Glory for Gary, beyond any of our imaginations, and heartache for all of you, his family, as you learn to live without your beloved. Dawn, your post is beautifully heartbreaking as you express your deep faith while revealing your vulnerability as you say goodbye to the man you love. Your childhhood church family, as well as current and new friends are binding together in prayerful support of your family at this critical time. Praying earnestly for each one of you. Love in Christ, Lee Ann (Sullivan)
Dawn, God has given you and Gary two of the most important gifts in Courage and Hope. Now we pray for you to know the Peace and Comfort you have both earned and deserve. Our continued heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you both and the entire family.
Tears fill my eyes as I read this today. What an inspiration you have been to me as you and Gary have journeyed together through this difficult battle. You have truly embodied the Joy and Peace that comes from knowing Jesus in spite of really difficult circumstances. Your courage and your hope have been a blessing and encouragement to so many. What a testimony of God's faithfulness. You and your whole family have always been so special to our family and words can not express our thankfulness for you. May you continue to feel God's loving arms around you as you say good bye. We love you and continue to pray for you all.
You know our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I pray that God will give you and your whole family comfort, peace and provision. Sending love. Julie & Andy
You are both so in tune to heaven's promises just a step away...for all of us. Wonderful sharing of what we cannot yet even imagine in the beauty, joy, and peace that awaits us as His children. All our love and prayers in these important days.
Hugs to all of you! Only two people have passed from this earth to heaven without going through the dying process as we know it. Someone once commented on the great faith it must have taken Enoch to make that transition - to put on the new body before the old one had died, trading one for the other. Gary, from what Dawn wrote, I see you making that same preparation. I envision it something like the difficulty I've always had stepping onto escalators: I have to watch the steps going by, get the rhythm, then step on. May God give you His strength and grace as you wait for that perfect moment to take that step into His open, waiting arms. Dawn, may God open your eyes and give you vision to see not the death of the man you love, but his stepping into the glory that awaits him. And may God comfort and console you and be your husband as He is for all His widows, and give you faithful friends and comforters to always be available to you when you need them. I love you! :) --Linda
I am very sad, at the same time, however. You are all very brave during this process (what choice do you have, I realize). I wish you could have many, many more years together. Thank you for writing. I'm sure it is difficult, but thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Oh Dear!!! This is Elizabeth (Christina's mom) I hope you all know that we have you and your family in our prayers!! Please know we always think about you guys!!! We love you!!
Prayers for you and your family always The Adragna's
Gary's lifelong faith in God has always been one of his most indelible qualities. My heart is heavy for my pal and his family. Love to all - Larry B
Gary's lifelong faith in God has always been his most indelible quality. My heart goes out to you and his beautiful family, Dawn. - Larry B.
Please know that the Leja family is holding you close in heart and prayer. We love Gary so much and will always treasure our memories with him. God bless you and your family Dawn. You all have been and continue to be an inspiration of everything that is good in this world. With love~ Cheri
My heart aches for you all as you walk this journey of Courage and Hope found only in Jesus. What a blessing to walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death with Jesus and be able to face it head on in the midst of such sorrow, grief and suffering. Of course none of this is what you or anyone else would choose. Gary you are displaying the scripture so beautifully to friends and family, "Christ in you the Hope of Glory". His Glory is shining through you and Dawn. Praying for you all.
Well done, good and faithful servant, enter into the glory. Rest, peace and love to you. Love, Connie
Gary, You are a legend and what you have taught me the past year is more than I can thank you for. I will always love you and have so many memories I will treasure always😀. My life is better because you were in it!
Please know that the people of New Life Community Church are praying for you. Your faith is being seen by many. God is being glorified. Much love to you!!
In the midst of such pain and sorrow your words are so powerfull and expressive, Dawn, you are a wonderfull example of what it means to live by faith. After our 35 years of being together we can imagine, in a way, the impact of what you have shared. We love you two, and Gary know that you have indeed been a faithfull servant of God, and a true believer. And I know that soon you will hear those words coming from our Lord Jesus!! Thankyou for your honesty and openess, your entire family has been very brave and always shared with us in truthfullness, Lyndee and I appreciate that more than you might know. May God continue to give you all Peace and Strength!!!
Precious sister in Christ. Our prayers are continuous for you, Gary and your family. Thank you for sharing your heart and needs.
Dearest Dawn, My heart goes out to you . You are such a wonderful witness for the Lord. So brave and faithful. We live with HOPE in our lives every day. I can't imagine life without it. Stan and I are praying for God's peace and love to envelope you and your family. Melissa
Our prayers for Gary and you, Dawn, and your whole precious family.
Gary, Dawn and family. You are loved by many. Thank you for your transparency and letting is all share in this journey with you. Even though we are not by your side, we are with you in spirit and in prayer. God be with you!!! May His peace full your room and your hearts. The Ostendorf family.
Thinking of you and always keeping you in our prayers. We love you coach. The Adams'
My prayers are with you, Gary.
Your faith, hope and courage has been a witness of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think. His eternal promises are for you and yours. We love you Coach Gary. Omilanas
Dawn, I don't know you but have been following your journey...Baylie was on Gary's JV team last year at LQHS. Thank you for allowing us to read what has been happening. I feel so blessed to have met Gary when Baylie started highschool. He is a Hero in our eyes. You are such an inspiration to everyone and I pray for peace for you and Gary. Sending a warm hug and lots of love and prayers to you and Gary and your family.
Praying
Gary, Dawn and family, Keeping you all in our prayers for peace and comfort, grace and mercy.