Continued Grieving ~God is GOOD

Dear Family and Friends,
As you may or not know I posted a small sentence on my Facebook account last week asking for extra prayer, last week was rough. But, I also wanted to take a minute and celebrate with each of you Gods faithfulness. After I wrote my grief letter and posted it on Posthope many of you took the time to let me know you where there praying for me and thinking of me. That is more helpful then you can imagine.
I want to start this letter by telling you that God has blessed me in so many ways during Gary’s time of illness and eventual home coming and now after his death. This might help you visualize what I am talking about, the other night when things just seemed like too much I sat in my room and started to write a list of things I was grateful for. I literally lost track of time and before I knew it I had four full binder size pages of things God had done. I was humbled and actually surprised. I know that many of those blessings are in the blogs I have written throughout this journey so I will start with the most recent ones while sharing with you what God and I are up too.
In the last month I was able to spend three days in Santa Cruz, this has been very difficult since Gary’s death, but I stayed with my sister in law, Liz, who lives in the same park as I do and I spent time with Gary’s brother and his wife, my sister in laws, my father and mother inlaw, of course our Northern California children and my adorable grandchildren. This was the first time I was able to be in Santa Cruz without a complete melt down and I even really enjoyed my time that included a good laugh with Gary’s sisters! Please pray for all of us as Gary’s birthday is August 12th and this can be very difficult day for all of the family.
I am living with my son Paul, his wife Sandy and their adorable daughter, Spencer in Orange County. They have opened their hearts and home to me and it has been a real place of security and healing for me. Paul and Sandy are trying to remodel their home and provide a space for me. I would ask that you would please pray that we would be able to find a Building Contractor that will be honest and that we will be able to make these changes with the budget we have been provided. Thank you for your prayers in this matter, as you can imagine this is a very bitter sweet experience, missing Gary’s expertise and knowledge in this area, he is again greatly missed.
Last, but not the least, God has brought great healing in my life through Horses. As most of you know I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and I have always been interested in including pets, including dogs and horses in my practice. Sometime before Gary became ill I researched the Eagala Therapy this form of therapy includes horses. At Gary’s service I met up with an old friend and she too is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, she informed me that there was an Eagala Training in her area in two weeks, she was going to be out of town for the first training but she encouraged me to attend, and she offered me a palace to stay for the second training, that would be held about a month or so later. I went to both trainings completed my Certification and then the Lord allowed me to meet a Psychologist here in Orange County who has asked me to work with her Interns and her Eagala practice. I continue to pray and asked the Lord for direction regarding my returning to working, God is opening doors in the Desert, here in Orange County and Santa Cruz.....wow....I am trying to patiently wait for further direction and provision!
As I mentioned at the start of this letter there have been so many blessings, just so many.
So let me tell you about the month of August and ask for prayer for my plans as I seek to grow and heal from this loss.
Next Tuesday I am leaving Orange County and headed for Santa Cruz, I will be there until Thursday afternoon preparing myself and our little motor home, (Stubby) , for a trip to Northern California, first stop will be my friends home in Placerville for two days of my own Eagala therapy addressing my grief with the horses. Then it’s off to Taylorsville. While at my Eagala training I met some amazing women one of them was Tina. She is in her early 30’s and lost her husband a little over a year ago. Left with four young children she took her Life Insurance money and opened a Horse Rescue. It has been a hard and rewarding road for Tina and after talking with each other and sharing our loss it was decided that I would come and help her work the ranch, she currently has 32 rescued horses and I offered to help with the children, she jumped on that! So Next Friday I leave Placerville and head for a two week stay in Taylorsville!
I am nervous, Gary always drove the little motor home, it is very old but well kept, Tina works like a real cowgirl getting up at 5am and then getting to be late at night, travelling without Gary is hard for so many reasons, but I am excited too because I am able to give back, to provide care for abused and neglected horses and help Tina with her children, what a wonderful God we serve!
So please pray for us as my son attempts to remodel his home and provide a place for me and other family members, he is determined to provide a home we can all call home and visit with each other as his father provided for us for so many years. Pray for Tina and her children as she seeks the Lords continued direction and for me as I take this journey of faith. One of my daughters said I should get a GoPro and strap it on my head to take pictures of this month’s adventures....well stay tuned for updates and pictures.....maybe a GoPro is a good idea!
Love and Blessings are flowing from the Father mixed with the tears of great grief and loss,
I continue to heal,
Dawn

PS all of our children have been amazing, always concerned for me, many times allowing me to grieve and putting their own loss and sadness aside, and then other times holding me and crying with me. Please remember them in your prayers.