Forgive/resent

I know that I have unforgiveness & resentment in my heart & I do not want them.  They can weigh very heavyly at times & I get frustrated that I can not seem to let them go.

These feelings can cause a lot of hopelessness-for they tie into other negative emotions (our feelings do not come out 1 at a time, I can feel sad because of a song I heard & other areas of my life where I have experienced sadness, can come out like a tidal wave).

I do not always know where my resentment stems from, however, by giving myself space to just be & allow myself to feel my feelings-I can get an idea.  It does not matter if I figure it out-it matters that I acknowledge it.

By nurturing myself, I can replace & even push away (in a sense, yet to the surface, negative emotions in a gentler fashion)  For example:  I have a wonderful day with friends, we laugh, eat, visit, have a picnic etc. and the next day I can feel termendous feelings of sadness & loss.

These type of events happened to me very often & left me feeling confused & even, sometimes, worse off, than before.  I now can check in with myself & ask-what is going on?  I had a great day, but now it feels horrible-well by living, being, surrounding myself in a nurturing environment, I chose to have joy, now pain from the past can surface & I can feel it & let it go.  In other words-Heal!

So how does this all tie to unforgiveness & resentment?  Everything & everyone affects us, especially when we were little, the nurturing & the postive ones have given us strength & our sense of self worth, the negative-exactly the same, yet in a wharped way (until we heal from them & they, the negative ones-become our strengths as well).

I hope I have not confused you.  I know I have talked a lot about how emotions & feelings tie in to one another.  For me, it is important to love myself & in time I will be quicker to forgive & bit by bit-the resentments will leave too.

You Are Worth So Much!

God Bless

J Christian S