I was first thinking of one person who I wanted to write to, but, I do not want to single anyone out & I wanted to address my experience with sex & love.
I feel that it is important to let go of the negative parts of life to allow healing & to let the positive aspects to take root inside & grow.
I am sad that I have been called/perceived as a hoar, slut, predator, dirty, & been told I am going to hell. People did not know, or if they knew (did not understand or want to), that I had been sexually abused & thought that sex equaled love.
I am so thankful that others did not look at me that way, instead, they chose to accept me & to really find out who I was-& even if they did not understand, I was not judged.
Before I learned differently, how was I to know? You can see how others get into relationships of intimacy, however, I thought by sleeping with some one would lead to an on-going partnership-& love a part of it.
I did not know how to gradually grow with some one & discover together, if we were meant to be more than friends.
All around me people were dating & some slept with their partner quite soon, while others waited-I just thought it was a choice they made & we do have the right to choose.
Years ago, I did learn about the healthy steps towards intimacy, but I did not really understand them until I got help & healing for my childhood abuse.
Most importantly, I needed to learn to love myself first, in a healthy & balanced way, before I could attract another healthy person who may be interested in starting a relationship.
I also want to point out that we really need to build close friendships that have healthy boundaries, trust, honesty, loyalty & unconditional love. Having these friendships is vital for us; to be then open to meeting some one we may be interested in exploring a more intimate relationship.
We all deserve to be loved, not judged.
You Are Worth So Much!
J Christian S