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Jessica Clarke - Journal

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Posted 2015-12-18T01:29:36Z

Dec 17

It's been an anxious week. I'm trying to be confident in my body, and knowing it is staying healthy. I'm using my resources and getting lots of support (thanks everyone!) and trying to be aware that this will pass, just like all of my other panicky streaks over the last couple of years. This, however, is not the reason for my post.[...]

Posted 2015-12-10T15:12:35Z

Dec 10 cont.

Sorry for the continuation.

I have to add this, because it is positive. I just had another conversation with my PA. She talked with Dr.Unger and he said no way. He's not worried. I'll still plan to go in next week to check in. Hopefully all has blown over by then.[...]

Posted 2015-12-10T14:29:01Z

Dec 10

Bring on more drama.

Two nights ago I woke up with sweaty legs. Sorry if that is too much information. This alone doesn't seem like a big deal, but it was one of my symptoms of lymphoma. I called the doctor and got in to see the P.A. that day. When I stepped on the scale at the office, I didn't weigh quite as much as I expected. I've been exercising some and I have been a little busy. We're only talking a few pounds... but it caught me by surprise. I was escorted to a patient room and they took blood for tests. Blood tests looked fine, although my white blood counts were a little low.[...]

Posted 2015-09-29T12:41:07Z

Sep 29

I'm kicking back in the family waiting room at the Fanny Allen sipping on berry flavored barium this morning. Today is my regularly scheduled 6 month scan. I'm about 16 months post chemo. I should have results today at 5:00! We have no reason to expect anything other than good news. It will also be interesting to see if they bump me out to annual scans after this point. I'll share results when I have them. Jess

Posted 2015-04-09T23:30:00Z

Apr 9

Back on the subject of hair growth after chemotherapy, I have bang photos to share. I am 10 months out from the end of my chemo calendar. I have had regular hair cuts which addressed only the hair growing down the back of my neck. I was determined not to have a mullet at any point in this process. The idea is, that to grow your hair out to one length again, the top has to grow down to your hairline. Trimming the back up won’t slow the process of getting to the cute bob style. When the hair was an inch or so, product would hold the front out of my face. When it was a little longer I would pin it back with bobby pins because it would NOT cooperate and do anything at all without the force of metal clips. I believe that I have finally reached a length where I can wear the bangs if I want too. Anything sooner than now and they looked like a three year old who had taken the craft scissors to her own hair. I must mention that my husband REALLY dislikes the bangs. He thinks I look like one of The Beatles. When I’m spending time with him they generally get the bobby pin treatment. The style that I want still seems really far off, but as I’ve said ever since regaining my brows and lashes – no complaints here! Also note that in the photo my hair is tucked behind my ear. It does come right down over my ears if I let it go. I don’t see “Beatles” as much as “Page Boy” (?) Is that the name for it? You know, the one that was popular in the late 70’s.[...]

Posted 2015-04-03T00:24:45Z

Apr 2 - Good news

We walked into CVHO feeling SOOOOOO nervous. Our 3:40 appointment had us in the waiting room until almost 4:00. Levi was wearing a hole in the carpet as he paced back and forth. My stomach was in knots. Finally, one of the nurses came to get us. As she showed us to our room she said, "Dr. Unger wanted me to let you know that your scan looked good.". It caught us both by surprise, because they usually don't do that stuff. I think Dr. Unger may have an appreciation for how anxious I can be. Whether that is good or bad, I'm not sure, but today it got us the news we needed a little faster! When he came in he said that my scan looked exactly like the one that was taken in January and this particular radiologist even commented that the one dense area noted at that time was likely thymus regeneration. Wooo Hooo.[...]

Posted 2015-03-18T18:26:19Z

Mar 18

I've been feeling, since last Friday, that I have a lump in my throat. I've talked to my doctor - he's not worried. You shouldn't be either. I'm making myself a bit crazy and have an appointment to see a PA next week (even though my scan is only 2 weeks out).[...]

Posted 2015-03-09T13:37:39Z

Mar 9

Now seemed like an appropriate time to post a positive journal entry. I'm cruising through a good period. My anxiety has been in check and I've been having a lot of fun. I'm sleeping really well. I'm balancing a pretty busy social calendar. I'm filling my days with "healthy distractions" which range from exercise to house projects to shopping (yes, shopping). Cam and I hit a performance of Sesame Street Live last week, visited and cooked for a family with a new baby, dined with friends and hosted some out of town guests. My next scan has been scheduled for April 2. I will check in at 8:30 am to gulp down my 40 oz of barium. Dr. Unger, feeling sorry for me in my anxious state last month, kindly scheduled my results appointment for 3:40 the same day. There is certainly a little "scanxiety" forming (yes, that is a real term - look it up if you don't believe me), but nothing like those toughest days. I'm sure the pendulum will swing back at some point, but I thought it was important to share with everyone on a positive day! Have a GREAT week. The north east is supposed to thaw out a bit over the next few days. Enjoy the warm air and sunshine.[...]