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Jessica Clarke - Journal

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Posted 2015-02-25T02:18:09Z

Feb 24

I had an appointment with Dr. Unger last week. He and his new P.A. looked me over, did blood work and talked with me about how I was doing. The conclusion was that there was no reason to do a scan sooner than the date planned. After my questionable January scan we had said 12 weeks. This puts us at the end of March(ish).[...]

Posted 2015-01-31T15:03:01Z

Jan 31

January is over. We made it through the month. There isn't much to report with my health. Nothing has really changed. I have good days and bad days when it comes to the anxiety about cancer. I am still seeing the therapist through the Cancer Patient Support Network every few weeks. The more I see her, the more I think she is a great fit for me. I find that I take something positive from every appointment that I have with her. Levi and I recently decided to cancel plans for our March trip to the west coast because it would have to be contingent upon a scan just prior to our departure date. It created too much pressure on that event. I am horrible at decision making. I second guess every choice. Kathy (above mentioned therapist) was able to help me to say, "We made the decision. We had good reasons to make it. Move on.". [...]

Posted 2015-01-09T01:00:00Z

Jan 8

I went against my own rule this morning and googled thymus regeneration. I found LOTS of really difficult to read medical papers and studies. One of those papers (which I was sort of able to comprehend) pointed me to this page. I found that it helped me to understand what may be going on with me. Although the initial paper referenced patients with Hodgkin's lymphoma, rather than NHL, I assume that the information translates. I'm not sure if this will help me to sleep at night... but it is good information with a positive NON CANCER explanation. Stay warm today wherever you are!![...]

Posted 2015-01-06T22:44:23Z

Jan 6

The words out of my doctor when he walked into the room were, "I think you're ok". This is what the takeaway should be for you after reading everything I will babble on about below.[...]

Posted 2015-01-05T15:58:12Z

Jan 5

Today I have a CT scan. This marks nearly 6 months since my last clean scan. That one was about 6 weeks after I stopped chemo. Im sitting at the Fanny sucking down 40 ounces of berry flavored barium. I'm praying, visualizing, practicing relaxation techniques and feeling ok. There is a little anxiety but we are managing it. Tomorrow at 3:00 I will get the results. I am looking forward to hearing the good news that I am still cancer free. The longer I go with no recurrence, the better my long term odds are. The green alien looking stuffed toy on my lap is a "healthy lymph node". Check them out at www.iheartguts.com

Posted 2014-12-13T17:51:43Z

Dec 13

So, I've been counting my weeks since treatment ended. I've made it to 26. I think it is time to stop counting. I can do rough math from here - 6 mos it is. That is a step. I've found that over the last month or so my anxiety about my health has really gone up and down. It has helped me to be able to say, "ok, I've felt like this before and it went away". This enables me to  be confident that every little thing isn't cancer. I have reluctantly kept up my 10 minute yoga routine for flexibility and just this week I felt that it may be getting a bit easier. Can your flexibility increase in just a month? Hmmm...[...]

Posted 2014-11-06T05:22:00Z

Nov 5

I figured I shouldn't wait another month to post since the tone of my last entry was clearly enough to worry you. It wasn't intended to do that, but it did. I have to say, I am worried too so it makes sense. Today I have some better things to report. I still feel most of the stuff I was feeling earlier in the week, but I've taken some steps to help with that.[...]

Posted 2014-11-02T00:42:35Z

Nov 1

I've been dealing with some stuff lately, and to be honest ... it was unexpected. I'm sharing it more because it is a side of "remission" and being cancer free that people probably don't know about.[...]

Posted 2014-10-16T19:37:48Z

Oct 16

This morning I stumbled across the obituary of a woman who sat next to me while getting treatment at CVHO quite often. She was fighting her third type of cancer. She was relatively young, super friendly and had a loving family. Sadly, this is the second "close to home" loss we've had this month. A neighbor also lost his battle to a brain tumor a couple of weeks ago. [...]

Posted 2014-10-14T17:05:18Z

Oct 14

It is official. The last of my chemo side effects has gone. It has been 19 weeks since my treatment ended. My hair seems to be growing fast and furiously. I was doing some photography work outside in the wind yesterday and came home with what Levi and I refer to as "boat hair" when it happens to him. I can smooth it down, I can stick it up... it is there, and that seems to be the only thing that matters :)[...]