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Jessica Clarke - Journal

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Posted 2014-04-24T15:29:52Z

Apr 24 - Clean scan

I just left my appointment.  My cancer is gone.  I beat it.  My scan came out completely clean.  I still have 6 hard weeks of treatment ahead of me, but to know that it has worked makes it all worthwhile.  When we get home I will post a picture of the before and after scan. It is pretty amazing.  It has taken a village and you are all a part of it.  I guess I should say WE beat cancer.  Thank you all.[...]

Posted 2014-04-21T23:52:27Z

Apr 21

At my appointment today we had to talk transfusion again. I am very torn, because my low red blood count is what is causing me to feel weak and tired. Having a transfusion will make me feel better. Unfortunately, it also introduces additional risks. We concluded that we will wait it out until Thursday to see if my body starts to bounce back on its own. My PA didn't feel it was urgent. The bummer is that it is starting to seem inevitable that I will need one at some point.[...]

Posted 2014-04-19T01:14:52Z

Apr 18

I think I've turned the corner for this treatment cycle.  It makes sense I guess, each cycle it has taken me one extra day to bounce back. For that, let us thank the 20% increases! I think I have confirmed that when I feel good, I can't act as if I feel good.  This is a formula for the following day to be a disaster. Today, I accomplished a bit but rested as well. [...]

Posted 2014-04-16T00:03:56Z

Apr 15

Today is not a good day. I'm getting everything that I expected but didn't experience yesterday.The phrase "I feel like I'm dying" seems to fit. I don't really know how to describe it, but it includes and is not limited to:[...]

Posted 2014-04-13T20:02:57Z

Apr 13

This weekend I decided that I couldn't just sit on the couch, although that is what I physically feel like doing. Mentally, I just couldn't take it.  Saturday morning Levi and I took Cam to a preschool friend's birthday party.  It was a beautiful morning and we had a great time visiting and letting the kids play. I was SO happy to be a part of it rather than sitting home and missing out. Immediately after the party we were able to go and pick up the Mini.  I was totally pooped but wasn't going to pass up a chance to get my little car from storage and drive home with the top down. It was quite nice.  [...]

Posted 2014-04-11T15:53:17Z

Apr 11

It's Friday, and the pump comes off.  Unfortunately, the last drug will also crush me.  I've found it does this physically, mentally (I feel stupid.  No other way to describe it.) and emotionally.  I had an OK morning and was able to do some chores and get both Cam and I bathed.  Small victories, right?[...]

Posted 2014-04-10T01:21:41Z

April 9

Well we're half way through the 4th treatment week. Jess just looked at me and said "I feel like I'm being poisoned", which, she is. I hate this whole deal. I want it to be over. Thank god for Campbell, she says the funniest things which seem to keep me going. Tonight, about 15 mins after we put her to bed she's at the top of the stairs "excuse me guys... I can't find a tissue, oh and we really should be running the make my nose stop running thingy" she was referring to the vaporizer in her room. [...]

Posted 2014-04-07T11:48:53Z

Apr 7

Kicking off cycle # 4.  

I woke up and choked down 100mg of Prednisone this morning, which means we're back to treatment!  I have to say, I had a wonderful weekend, so I'm feeling ready to get back to work on this. Sometimes the off weeks, while totally necessary for my physical and mental recovery, feel like a waste of time. [...]

Posted 2014-04-04T12:58:22Z

Apr 4

I have been feeling pretty well for the last few days.  I'm not back to "normal", still more tired than usual, but WAY better than last week.

I'm hoping to have a date night with Levi this weekend. We had planned to have one on each third week, but because of sickness or general chaos we have not been able to execute that plan. I also hope to celebrate my dad's birthday with him! (Happy Birthday Dad!)[...]

Posted 2014-04-01T16:16:27Z

Apr 1

It is beautiful outside. I'm totally taking a walk today.  

There was a spot on my living room wall that had been affected by our kitchen remodel two years ago that Levi had painted the wrong color (the touch up job was done with a can of paint that was arguably a close color, but not the right color).  I've been looking at it for a very long time.  This morning I decided, "TODAY IS THE DAY".  My dad will appreciate this, because I tell him that I can still handle pretty much anything that I can break down into a 15 minute job.  Anything more than that is a lot to commit to.  I made painting that spot my 15 minute job this morning.  I can not express how rewarding this is.  Cleaning up the paint supplies will be a 15 minute job that I'll tackle this afternoon.  [...]