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Johns Hopkins RoadTrip

In July Bret was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So, he took a road trip to Johns Hopkins Hospital, found a surgeon and snagged a spot in an immunotherapy clinical tria[...] read more

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The Grieving

Today I cried during a follow-up exam with my nurse practitioner, then again later in front of the very nice social security clerk as he handed over the $250 death benefit I received because Bret died, and then a third time while driving in the car listening to an Avett Brothers song. I also smiled at a joke, checked off most of the stuff on my to-do list and while standing in line at Starbucks waiting to order my grande Americano, no room, had a sparkling conversation with the gentleman standing next to me in line. "Yeah baby, I still got it!" 

I also wrote - like I do everyday. It's therapy all tangled up in a love, loss mix and it is what I have been putting off for 30 years. The creative tug pulls me from my slumber every morning, write, write, write. Meals are skipped - write, write, write. The right side of my brain flexing and stretching everyday as the chemicals of creativity flush through each axon - rapid fiber nerve response - the delightful tension of these sensations flooding through my body. A satisfying response that has me coming back for more. 

This is the end, at least for now, of the Post Hope blog known as Johns Hopkins Road Trip. A week after Bret died, I started writing in a place that I call The Grieving and today I am ready to share this new journey with you. Perhaps you will follow me there. I hope you do. It won't all be about Bret and me and grief...I have a lot to say about cancer and advocacy and access to clinical trials and how we treat the dying and lemmings following each other off of the cliff -  all things that I think you may want to know about. I'll be talking about love too.

It's been my honor to have you here by my side. 

Welcome to The Grieving

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