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The Grieving

Today I cried during a follow-up exam with my nurse practitioner, then again later in front of the very nice social security clerk as he handed over the $250 death benefit I received because Bret died, and then a third time while driving in the car listening to an Avett Brothers song. I also smiled at a joke, checked off most of the stuff on my to-do list and while standing in line at Starbucks waiting to order my grande Americano, no room, had a sparkling conversation with the gentleman standing next to me in line. "Yeah baby, I still got it!" 

I also wrote - like I do everyday. It's therapy all tangled up in a love, loss mix and it is what I have been putting off for 30 years. The creative tug pulls me from my slumber every morning, write, write, write. Meals are skipped - write, write, write. The right side of my brain flexing and stretching everyday as the chemicals of creativity flush through each axon - rapid fiber nerve response - the delightful tension of these sensations flooding through my body. A satisfying response that has me coming back for more. 

This is the end, at least for now, of the Post Hope blog known as Johns Hopkins Road Trip. A week after Bret died, I started writing in a place that I call The Grieving and today I am ready to share this new journey with you. Perhaps you will follow me there. I hope you do. It won't all be about Bret and me and grief...I have a lot to say about cancer and advocacy and access to clinical trials and how we treat the dying and lemmings following each other off of the cliff -  all things that I think you may want to know about. I'll be talking about love too.

It's been my honor to have you here by my side. 

Welcome to The Grieving

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Comments (7)

  • Kim Battin
    Kim Battin

    The only thing running through my head right now is the song, "I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow...". That's not the name of it, but I'm picturing Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act and this song. Sorry, but I will follow your continued journey.

    3 months ago · Reply
  • Beth Gaffney
    Beth Gaffney

    Carol- Would follow you to the moon and back- writing that is! How I love your gift of prose. The Grieving blog I look forward too although it's so sad to say goodbye to Post Hope. Your creative bent has inspired us all and given us such insight- so grateful for that. Love- Beth

    3 months ago · Reply
  • Janet kocen
    Janet kocen

    still following you!

    3 months ago · Reply
  • Judy Young
    Judy Young

    Ditto! ♥️

    3 months ago · Reply
  • Karen Steiner
    Karen Steiner

    Will definitely keep following you! ❤️❤️

    3 months ago · Reply
  • Debb Fager
    Debb Fager

    Wishing you a blazing pen in hand and a flood of dreams and thoughts. I’ll be by your side.

    3 months ago · Reply
    • Judy Young
      Judy Young

      Yes to the blazing pen 🖊!

      3 months ago · Reply

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