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Posted 2018-07-20T13:32:15Z

Girl, wash your face

For those of you who REALLY know me you know I am NOT a reader by any means. I worked at Barnes and Noble for 8 years and I read ONE book while I worked there. ONE BOOK. (for those wondering it was "The Lovely Bones") Anyway, several friends have been talking about this book "Girl, wash your face" by Rachel Hollis, for about a month I've been trying to get my hands on one from a library but they're always checked out with several people already on a waiting list for them when they get returned. I HATE buying books because I never get a chance to read them and I probably have a touch of ADD or something because I can read a page, a chapter, a paragraph and non of it ever sticks (hence probably why I don't "enjoy" reading). Anyway, I (for some godforsaken reason) hauled the boys into Barnes and Noble this week and bit the bullet to finally buy myself the book. It's on their bestseller list so it was 30% off. Guys, I can't put it down.

Ok, I know, so why am I posting about it on a blog mostly dedicated to the boys? Well, because I'm on the Chapter titled "I'm not a good mom". She's talking about when she went and worked with a personal trainer after giving birth to her second child to lose her baby weight, and was "going through a bad breakup with Carl's Jr" (for those of us in West Michigan who don't know, it's a fast food place). Her trainer asked her "Would you ever feed your child the food you feed yourself?" She thought "I was horrified by the question because I put so much time and energy into what my boys ate. No, of course I wouldn't ever feed my children the way I feed myself."

That stopped me dead in my reading because this is something I've struggled with for years. As recent as this week. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not judging anyone so PLEASE don't take offense to my next story if you're a frequent fast food eater, so please take with a grain of salt, it's just my personal struggle. The boys Head-Start teacher has been working with them through the Summer, she's amazing and we just LOVE her! The boys had a late breakfast after she worked with them this week (after 10am) so I figured they'd be good until after their PT and OT in the afternoon, to eat another meal. Naturally though as soon as we got on the road Max "wanted to eat, need 'nack" yadda yadda yadda. Would noooooot shut up about it. He wanted a burger. So I finally caved. We were running a bit early, I realized we would be at therapy for an hour and a half and if he was going to cooperate through therapy he better have something and I was NOT stocked with 'nacks (snacks) in the van so I told him I would run somewhere and get him and his brother something to eat on the way. I decided McDonalds was on the way. I'd get him a cheeseburger, Miles a 4 piece nugget and they'd share a small fry. Let me stop here and tell you this is NOT something I do. My boys do not know McDonalds, they don't know Happy Meals, they don't know all this crap like most little kids do (insert pat on the back here). I felt awful doing it. It's not something I'm proud of and I honestly hoped no one I knew saw my van in that drive thru. So I was secretly proud when Max ate about three bites of that cheeseburger and Miles ate one tiny bite out of each of those little nuggets. I'm not sure how many fries hey ate but I know they both said they were done before I backwardly held the garbage can back to them while driving down the highway and they dumped them in the trash. I proud that my children do not drink pop and their main source of liquids are whole milk and water and the occasional healthy juices. Hooooooowever, breakfast and lunches are not always the best and often consist of processed and prepacked foods which I'm trying to work on now. I'm not taking ALL the fault for this. This started in feeding therapy. Children with cerebral palsy burn more calories, and children with feeding problems you do whatever you can to get them to eat foods with high calorie counts. I was literally told if Miles likes foods with cheese to add CANNED SPRAY CHEESE to EVERYTHING. I couldn't stomach that thought! Can you believe a licensed medical provider suggested CANNED SPRAY CHEESE?! lol. Not regardless she wasn't a nutritionist, she was a feeding therapist trying to get a kid to gain weight but come on, SPRAY CHEESE?!

So back to the reason of which started this blog. The book, the "would you feed your children what you eat?" question. No, I feed my children worse. I feed them higher calorie, higher fat, more carb foods than I eat. I was a McDonalds addict since I was a child, and had I not had bariatric surgery two years ago I still would be. I freaking LOVE McDonalds. The day I could eat meat after my surgery I literally had Greg take me to McDonalds and I ordered a cheeseburger and ate it without the bun. OF ALL THINGS?! (I haven't done that since btw). McDonalds brings back many happy times and moments of my life which is probably like any addiction but I had to break it and that's why I don't bring my boys there and want them to like it, and why I'm OVERJOYED they didn't enjoy it or eat it. I still struggle with feeding them and making wise food choices because they are still small for their age and it is hard to make good food choices for picky 5 year olds with feeding issues, but they enjoy whole milk (Miles, white only...Max with added Carnation to make it chocolate), an such different tastes in meat but we manage.

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