August 1st is Loyd's and my anniversary. We will celebrate 18 years of marriage tomorrow. I remember when Loyd was diagnosed with Mantle Cell Lymphoma and I pleaded with God that 17 years of marriage was NOT enough! My grandparents were married 65 PLUS years. I always wanted to have that same thing. However, TIME is in the eye of the beholder....
Loyd and I have LIVED our married life together!! We haven't sat idly by in one place for eternity and watched our years pass by. We have worked - worked in ministry for God's kingdom in the U.S. and Canada - side by side - in Kids Ministry, in Teen Ministry, in Outreach Ministry.... even in Music Ministry (while I sang and played keys, he ran the soundboard among other things)!! We have farmed and loved it! We have fought and made up. We have raised some pretty amazing (while strong willed and opinionated) children who are gifted in so many ways... and in so many ways are like both of us. We have bicycled across the country to pray for people with cancer and met so many cool and amazing friends. The experience of a lifetime. We have lived in the land of Buckeyes (The Ohio State), Canada (True North Strong and Free) and Florida (Whooee, it's hot here!!) We have strived to teach our children right from wrong and love them beyond anything else. We have loved Jesus first and foremost and the rest falls into place. We were supposed to spend our Happily Ever After here in Marion Oaks and for some reason - Jesus is calling Loyd Home before me - and it makes me so sad that I cannot even share it... because there is no end to the depth of my sorrow at my best friend going Home before me, the love of my life.
However, time IS in the eye of the beholder.... I wish for many, many more years but I am thankful for the 18 years we have had... They have been a FULL 18 years... I wouldn't trade one of them or even part... I wish I could have 18 more.
So tomorrow I will spend my day at Hospice with my husband "celebrating" our 18 years as husband and wife to the best and most positive of my ability. I will LOVE this man until his (or my) dying breath just as I promised. He has been my best friend, my lover, father to our children, so much to me. It hurts my heart to think of a life without him in it but I will have the memories and cherish them and I will see glimpses of Loyd in our children and even in my own life. I am not the same young girl I was when he came to find me in NB, Canada. I have grown so much and am so thankful God brought us together. I would not be who I am today if He hadn't.
Happy Anniversary to my husband. Always xoxo
PS: Loyd had a very hard night last night (Saturday) and slept ALL day today (Sunday). I have intentions to talk to his doctor tomorrow since it's Monday and see where she thinks things lie. I will update if there are any changes. I have pretty much stopped accepting phone calls. If you choose to call, go for it. If I can, I will answer. If not, I'll return your call eventually. You can always text me 352-233-5077 or message me on Facebook. I am spent. And I am frequently too sad to talk. And I'm a little bit mean these days too. I don't intend to be but I just don't have a lot of EXTRA energy. Please bear with me. <3