I am so unbelievably blessed and grateful for the love and support of those around me. This year has been tough and I’ve struggled some days more than others. And on those harder days when I come from gratitude and remember to be grateful, the day lightens up and I make it through to another day - one step closer to the end of this process.
Today I had a few appointments and thought we’d be in and out quickly. I think the main lesson in today was ‘slow down, look around, and be grateful for the good things’. It took me a while to get there and I’m glad I finally did.
Radiation treatment #5 was today. I was late and of course traffic was a challenge. When I got there I discovered that almost everyone scheduled today had had the same struggle so they were running 30-45 minutes behind. As I finally got to the table to get my dose, some light burned out in the machine. They sent me back to the 'gown room' to wait - guess they didn't want me to know how many techs it takes to change one of the machines light bulbs - either that or the topless lady laying there was too big a distraction for the maintenance team. 😳 I finally got back in there and done 1-1/2 hours late.
Instead of then taking my lunch and relaxing with Vic until my next appointment with the oncologist we had to rush right over there and walked in just on time. Unfortunately they were also running about 40 minutes late at that point too. So we again sat and practiced patience. My neuropathy has been pretty severe so they are upping the meds they gave me to help ‘quiet’ the nerves and are giving me more pain meds. He’s dialed down next weeks chemo dose. We'll hope it helps over the next few weeks with the neuropathy and if it doesn't we'll go back to the drawing board.
This too provides me another opportunity for a lesson - in asking for help. My hands (and feet honestly) are not working properly and doing much preparation of food is going to be difficult if not impossible. Thankfully I am surrounded by angels who are pitching in and making sure our day tomorrow will include lots of great food and traditions...and the few things that I’m assigned to handle comes with someone to be my hands and help me make it happen. I’m working hard to dial down the anxiety and thoughts of things I should be handling and allowing this blessing of help to surround and comfort me instead.
So - that being said I cannot wait to spend the day with some amazing people, eat some amazing food, and for those of you that can’t join us here know that you are in my thoughts and I cherish your contribution in my life. I hope you are surrounded by your angels and people you love and that you can spend your day in gratitude as well. Love you and happy thanksgiving!