Some of the shows we watch on tv lately have hit close to home with cancer struggles the characters are going through. Tonight on Chicago Med one of the leads finally confided in a friend what was going on. The friend, having been there before said she understood keeping silent and not telling people or showing weakness. She also shared that once she let her friends in she was able to draw extreme support from those people and it was the best thing she did. I can very much relate to that. And, at the same time I find I censor myself and in my want to ‘stay positive’ that sometimes I don’t ask for help or share when I most need it.
I still have this drain in (2 weeks tomorrow) and not sure when it will be out. (Let’s see it coming out before another week passes k?) It is hard to sleep and do most anything with it in. And I know why it’s there and is the path I need to be on right now. Had chemo Monday too, second one of the new ‘maintenance’ chemo and I’m still learning the side effects. Anxiety and worry crept in yesterday and I’m working to stay positive and look forward. More nausea than I would like and the meds work. And I’m back to freezing! In my silence poor Vic got the brunt of my emotions. A few prayers for him tonight and I’ll take some too if you got em. And how about a few jokes? I really want to lighten this mood without resorting to too many drugs. And I know it says women - some of you men have been very supportive as well and for that I am eternally grateful! So let’s go with Strong People! I’ll be reaching out to a few of you I may have been avoiding hoping it would help me stay strong and not have to admit what I was feeling.
Thanks for being my people! Letting you in was the best thing I did and I’ll work on doing a better job of asking for support before I need it. 😂