It was four weeks ago today that Marian had surgery, and we received the devastating news that the pancreatic cancer could not be removed, and indeed, had spread to the adjacent liver. Lynn was with me as the surgeon explained, and I will never forget Lynn's comment, "Dad, this stinks!" Neither will I forget how Lynn held my hand as I wept out my frustration, disappointment and fear.
Four weeks have passed. Actually six weeks since learning this was pancreatic cancer. And this morning Marian got up; we did our Bible reading sitting side by side as always, and then had a good breakfast. Other than the loss of weight, Marian looks the same as ever - her smile still lights up the room (and my life). But immediately after breakfast she was back in bed until getting dressed in mid morning - and then back to bed. The sense of fatigue is so very powerful.
I know this is all in God's loving hand, and that He will not give difficulty without also giving Grace, so that we are not overwhelmed. But today I feel overmatched by the events that have come, and so I am trusting Jesus to bring my feelings into conformity with His reality.