When he was in the ICU two weeks before his death, Mihály was visited by the hospital chaplain, who’d prayed on Mihály in Jesus’ name even after learning that the patient’s religious beliefs were other than Christian. Afterward, Mihály said he’d felt “spiritually raped.”
Less than a week later, he received an unannounced visit from the home hospice chaplain, who turned out to be another spiritual counselor who only knew how to pray to Jesus. As a self-described “Discordian Thelemite” with unique and personal spiritual beliefs, Mihály at that point made it clear to me and the social worker and the hospice nurses that he did not care for evangelical comfort, being especially sensitive to disruption during his final days.
I’m sure it would have surprised Mihály that his non-practicing and otherwise irreligious family organized a Christian memorial service for him this past weekend, but I’m likewise sure he would have shrugged it off, understanding as he did that it was for them, not him. His ashes were not there, and his spirit had already been consecrated “in pure ecstasy for ever”, thus:
In his final hours, when I asked him if there were end-of-life rites associated with his beliefs, Mihály directed me to locate his worn copy of The Book of the Law. He told me to silently review the passages he’d highlighted, and I tearfully perused the small book while he spoke on the phone to his mother for the last time, and then his father.
It was only after his breath had gone, after his pulse had stopped, after his recently-vacated human form was cleaned and respectfully arranged, that these words became his funeral rites. Honored to be officiant, mourner and sole witness to Mihály’s soul’s release, I read his chosen passages aloud in a clear voice while anointing his body with essence of flowers.
It is further my honor to finally share the following excerpts of text from which Mihály drew his silent strength and personal spiritual inspiration throughout the chaos of life until his passing on to “peace unutterable.”
May you, too, find solace in these words and go forward with the courage to “love one another with burning hearts.”
SELECTED READING FROM THE BOOK OF THE LAW:
Every man and every woman is a star. …there is no difference.
Come forth, … & take your fill of love!
I am above you and in you. My ecstasy is in yours. My joy is to see your joy.
…they shall bring the glory of the stars into the hearts of men.
I am Heaven, and there is no other God than me, and my lord Hadit.
I am Infinite Space, and the Infinite Stars thereof, do ye also thus. Bind nothing!
…for thereby cometh hurt.
I am Nuit, and my word is six and fifty.
… shall be my ecstasy, the consciousness of the continuity of existence, the omnipresence of my body.
speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous!
This is the creation of the world, that the pain of division is as nothing, and the joy of dissolution all.
… but ye are my chosen ones.
Then the joys of my love will redeem ye from all pain. This is so: I swear it by the vault of my body; by my sacred heart and tongue; … by all I desire of ye all.
the Law is for us all.
He must teach.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. The word of Sin is Restriction. … all else is a curse.
So with thy all; thou hast no right but to do thy will.
For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect.
Abrogate are all rituals, all ordeals, all words and signs.
Thus ye have star & star, system & system; let not one know well the other!
…and the emblems of death.
take your fill and will of love as ye will, … But always unto me. … if the ritual be not ever unto me: then expect the direful judgments of Ra Hoor Khuit!
But ecstasy be thine and joy of earth.
All my words are sacred and all prophets true; … But thou hast all in the clear light, and some, though not all, in the dark.
Invoke me under my stars! Love is the law, love under will. Nor let fools mistake love; for there are love and love.
I give unimaginable joys on earth: certainty, not faith, while in life, upon death: peace unutterable, rest, ecstasy; nor do I demand aught in sacrifice.
Also I have a secret glory for them that love me.
But to love me is better than all things: …thou shalt come a little to lie in my bosom. For one kiss wilt thou then be will to give all; but whoso gives one particle of dust shall lose all in that hour.
… but always in love of me, and so shall ye come to my joy.
I love you! I yearn to you! Pale or purple, veiled or voluptuous, I who am all pleasure and purple, and drunkenness of the innermost sense, desire you. Put on the wings, and arouse the coiled splendor with you: come unto me! …bare and rejoicing in my secret temple— To me! To me! calling forth the flame of the hearts of all in her love-chant.
Sing the rapturous love-song unto me! Burn to me perfumes! Wear to me jewels! Drink to me, for I love you! I love you!
I am the blue-lidded daughter of Sunset; I am the naked brilliance of the voluptuous night-sky.
To me! To me!
The Manifestation of Nuit is at an end.
In the sphere I am everywhere the centre, as she, the circumference, is nowhere found.
I am the flame that burns in every heart of man, and in the core of every star. … yet therefore is the knowledge of me the knowledge of death.
Remember all ye that existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows; they pass & are done; but there is that which remains.
The sorrows of pain and regret
Are left to the dead and the dying, …
These are dead, these fellows; they feel not. We are not for the poor and sad: the lords of the earth are our kinsfolk. … the highest of us. They shall rejoice, our chosen:
…Beauty and strength, leaping laughter and delicious languor, force and fire, are of us. … the outcast and the unfit: let them die in their misery. … this is our law and the joy of the world. Think not upon that lie: That Thou Must Die: verily thou shalt not die, but live. … If the body of the King dissolve, he shall remain in pure ecstasy for ever … Knowledge & Delight and bright glory…
It is a lie, this folly against self. The exposure of innocence is a lie. … fear not that any God shall deny thee for this. I am alone: there is no God where I am.
Love one another with burning hearts
But ye, o my people, rise up & awake!
…and a greater feast for death…
There is no dread hereafter. There is the dissolution, and eternal ecstasy in the kisses of Nu. There is death for the dogs.
I am not of the slaves that perish. Be they damned & dead! … & the pall of death: this is none of me.
… & I will reward you here and hereafter. … Thou art emphatically my chosen; … but I lift thee up. … then when ye are sad know that I have forsaken you.
ye shall be as ye are, & not other.
… the expiration is sweeter than death …
Thrill with the joy of life & death! thy death shall be lovely: whoso seeth it shall be glad. Thy death shall be the seal of the promise of our agelong love.
… breathe not so deep –die! –death is the crown of all.
Death! Death! thou shalt long for death. Death is forbidden, o man, unto thee. … He that lives long & desires death much is ever the King among Kings!
But remember… to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven
Lift up thyself! … thy stature shall surpass the stars. … all is not aught.
Now let it be first understood that I am a god of War and of Vengeance. I shall deal hardly with them.
It shall not fade, but miraculous colour shall come back to it day after day. Close it in locked glass for a proof to the world.
This shall be your only proof.
Fear not at all: fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms.
I am the visible object of worship; the others are secret; …But your holy place shall be untouched throughout the centuries
Success is thy proof … convert not.
Success is your proof; courage is your armor: go on, go on, in my strength; & ye shall turn not back for any!
There is no law beyond Do what thou wilt.
To Me do ye reverence! to me come ye through tribulation of ordeal, which is bliss.
Yet to all it shall seem beautiful. Its enemies who say not so, are mere liars.
There is success.