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I was diagnosed with breast cancer on December 4th. Since this epic day I have been working tirelessly to continue to be a wife, mom, friend, aunt, cousin, employee, lea[...]

Latest journal entry

It's time for a change of direction

Wow, it's been over two months since my last post.  I have wanted to come on here and just let the keyboard flow; however, it just was not the right time.  Part of being a grown up is self control (well anyway that is what I have been told).  So what has been going on?  Wow, what hasn't been going on?  You would think after moving to a new country, losing your father, losing your mother, and then having cancer, there would not be much left. Ha, that's not the life of BLG.  We must always live on the edge.

Well, it's almost spring here in Burlington.  The trees are starting to bud, and the sun is definitely shinning more than usual.  The kids are doing great in grade 1 and March break has just begun . . . 

Oh my fuck . . . do you know today is the one year anniversary of my first chemo treatment?  It is also our nine year wedding anniversary.  It has also been about one year since we purchased this house.  Seems about the right time to sell, right?  You buy a house, own it for a year and sell it.  Right?  I am also feeling the need to go back to the US with all this political mumbo jumbo going on.

Okay, okay, okay (that's something many folks say in Canada).  We are moving back to the US.  Yup, you read that correctly, and it's hard for me to type.  I don't know why.  It's not even close to trying to type the word "cancer", but for some reason it has been tough for me to get my head around.  I believe it may be because once we were diagnosed with cancer we decided as a family Canada was where we would plant our roots, buy a home and stay for quite some time.  But, I guess that is not what life wanted for us.

My company has offered me a great position, playing on many of my skill sets, back in the US.  I would be remiss to say at first I was not interested at all in this role.  We just got done living with cancer.  We just got done moving AGAIN.  We just got done buying a house in the crazy Ontario market.  We just got done moving our babes to a new school.  Well, sometimes, you need to lay on the ground, kick, scream, pout, and then pull your big girl pants up, wipe your eyes, and realize that car, you remember, that damn car with no power steering?  Well, that car has decided which way life is going to go, and again, your job is to hold on tight and pull the wheel as hard as you can in the direction you want it go understanding the car is still a few tons so the best you are going to do is keep it on the road, which is a win.

The more time I have had to discuss the position with folks within my organization, and the more time I have had to put pen to paper, I have realized I am so damn excited about this opportunity.  Don't get me wrong, I am completely broken hearted to leave Canada.  I continue to be blown away at the network we have created here.  The people I work with in my office are just fantastic, and our network of friends, ah, I cannot even come up with words.  I just love them.  Each and every one of them.  I am absolutely confident these selfless amazing people will be in our life forever.

And Canada, Canada as a country, oh my fucking my (ha what does that even mean).  Canada you make me absolutely proud and grateful you gave me the opportunity to live here.  I loved and still absolutely love Wisconsin and the United States of America, but Canada, Oh Canada, you have taught me so much.  You have taught me there is more than just the few kilometres around me.  You taught me that diversity makes the world go around.  You have taught me that the world does not revolve around the US.  You have taught me that colour, race, and sex are blind in your country.  I am so so grateful to have the opportunity to grow leaps and bounds in your amazing country. 

We have officially accepted the new role with my amazing company back in the US.  And how amazing is this . . . they provided us with options where we want to live.  And after much thought and research, we seem to be focusing our attention on the Alpharetta and Milton, Georgia area.  The weather is great, the people are amazing, my company has a great office with great people, the airport is a large international airport, and it's conveniently located for traveling to the east or midwest or west, and it's a buyer's housing market.  Seems like a pretty good decision, right?

As I was going through this life altering decision, I have wanted to blog multiple times, but everytime I wanted to punch the keyboard, it just wasn't the right time.  Most times I was just too emotional.  I understand when cancer was knocking me on my ass, I typed multiple times, but this type of life altering event needs to be handled quietly and without an audience.  Things such as cancer can be publicly shamed and cursed, and no one gets hurt.  However, a change in your career that moves your family from one country to another involves people deciding.  As such, you need to ensure you keep your shit together and keep your temper tantrums to yourself.  That's what happens when life takes a left turn when you just wanted to keep cruising down the nice straight road.  This is why you you need to manage accordingly.  Most of the time you are reacting to things that really don't need to be reacted to and you are affecting people around you.

So yeah, enough with this philosophical BS, to be clear, my company has offered me a great opportunity, we have accepted and we are moving back to the US.  I guess I will have more things I will need to type about.  You may also be wondering when will I shut this blog down, but now I will need it more than ever.  Sorry (oh my freak I am turning into a Canadian), but you are stuck with me for a while.  I need to type, and I need to share.

Have a great evening and squeeze your loved ones :)