Posted on behalf of Phoebe Griffith, Sam's Mead School Science Teacher
When I reminisce about Sam, I always have a firm picture in my mind’s eye, and it features that wonderful grin he had. Whether my picture is of Sam on the ski trip, in the lab, or in the hallway, he always seemed to be smiling. I remembered his sense of humor in a general sense, but it wasn’t until I looked up his Germ Wars story from 5th Grade that I recalled just how hilarious he could be!
I am sending you a copy of that story (see below)…I have no idea if you still have any of those old papers, but, just in case, here it is. It is quintessential Sam - VERY funny, plays on words, of course having researched the topic above and beyond the call of duty. He also found ways to include family members.
By Sam Bauman February 28, 2005
January 3rd , 2004. Alison, who bad a bad cold and sbould' ve stayed home, was sneezing all over Ruth and her homework. Yuck. Little did Ruth know that her body was about to become a battlefield . . .
We have successfully invaded the nose, and have set up virus factories that can churn out 10 viruses a minute! My virus troops are doing a very good job, exploding cells left and right, at an average rate of 100 cells a day! Life is good in the nose. It’s warm, provides ribosomes, everything a virus could want. End Entry 1.
Mac MacAfee, Ruth's nose's security guard, was about to report to his boss . "This is Mac MacAfee to Spleenodeius, everything is clear
Wait! We have an invasion of rhinovirus type 13A5, I repeat, type 13A5. Over and Out." Spleennodius, Ruth' s army' s commander wasted no time ordering his factories, called adenoids to make killer Ts. The best three were Tobias, Thomas, and Timothy. They went straight to the nose....
Ruth lay in bed, with 4 boxes of Kleenex next to her. She had a stuffy nose something terrible, and every so often she would lapse into a sneezing fit. She sneezed so hard she thought her brains would fall out. Ruth was utterly miserable. Her mom came up to check on her, and she had a fever of 102.2. It would have been lower, but these were rhinoviruses type 13A5, the sneakiest, evillest kind.
Spleenodeiuswas making antibodies for the Ts. They were Anitwilliam, Antirachel, and Antimatter. These chemical "Kick Me" signs did their job, so the Ts could kick them. All of a sudden, a cell exploded and millions of viruses flooded the nose. The Ts couldn't handle all this on their own, so they radioed for their backup: 2 Mucus and Sneeze. Now they were on a roll, blasting germs with the biological equivalent of atom bombs!
We are losing the battle. Oy. What’s this? Oy vey. Another sneeze, another mushroom cloud. I have no reserves left. Antiwilliam and Antirachel are a pain in the neck. As for Antimatter, I’d rather not think of him. His explosions are the dreaded sneezes. Timothy, Thomas and Tobias are even worse. They’ve killed all the Rhinos except for me, and my hiding place won’t last much longer. It’s time to leave Ruth and colonize Amy!
The battle was over. Stewart, the suppressor T, came and officially ended it. Ruth was better.
Stay tuned on the Rhinovirus channel for AMY'S INFECTION