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Posted 2019-02-13T19:40:00Z

Current life state

So here's how things stand at the moment in terms of life and activities:

This is my third day home from hospital.  Things are a little up and down but the basic pattern is sleep, wake up, get a little bit of stuff done, eat, go back to sleep.  A week in hospital will leave you very short of sleep - they're noisy places at night.  I feel I am gradually getting the drugs out of my system too and that seems to require lots of sleep, I'm guessing a lot of that will be down to morphine.

Judith is preparing vegetable juice for me every morning using fresh ingredients.  This is very time consuming but we believe it is the best support possible for the body.  She is also preparing three super healthy meals for me every day.  She also did all this throughout my stay in hospital.  She also has helped me in and out of the bath and listened endlessly to my fears and other emotions around all this.  She's bringing me drinks, picking things up for me and so on and on ... ..  Needless to say she has practically no time left for work.  And that's a problem: payments have been taken for work that is as yet incomplete and needs doing; if she cannot work we will not be able to keep up with the bills.

In terms of my work:

At present I am unable to teach guitar.  Today I have had pain preventing me from even moving for much of the day.  It doesn't hurt when I stay still, just when I go to sit up to eat or drink.  Yesterday I managed to stand enough to do a little washing up.  It's early days and I hope to see gradual improvement as we learn what works.

Matt has taken on all my teaching for now.  This is great because it really matters to me that my students carry on their studies, this is central to my feeling of 'meaning' in life.  Of course this means that I now have half the income I previously had.

This is one of the harder things to accept - I have been working hard for a long time and had just turned the corner into the ability cover my bills and to invest a little money into advertising without incurring further debt.  I was really enjoying the feeling of looming financial security and reward for all my effort - this is a set back.

We are currently at the stage of finding out what help is available and from where.  It'll take a little while, but we'll get through it and soon have a much better understanding of where we are in practical and financial terms.

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