Hi Team KLB,
Tomorrow marks the first anniversary of the day my whole world changed. I've been reliving the emotions that I felt leading up to my biopsy and diagnosis. Lately, I've also been thinking about those first few days and weeks post diagnosis and remembering just how hard it was. As of now, I feel slightly numb to how hard it was to process things in the beginning. Sometimes I talk about having Cancer like it was a cold. While I know it was nothing like that, I'm so used to it now, that's it's just my new normal.
I kept thinking about this is when "my life got flipped-turned upside down" which is also a small part of the lyrics to the theme song for the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air". So, to mark this Cancerversary, I rewrote the lyrics to fresh prince to reflect how cancer "flipped-turned upside down" my life (with the help of my favorite musician :).
Here are my new song lyrics:
Queen of Team KLB
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned up side down
And I’d like to take a minute
Just listen and see
I’ll tell you how I became Queen of Team KLB
In Silicon Valley, born and raised
In the classroom was where I spent most of my days,
Schoolin’ out, gradin’, teaching all cool,
Playin’ bralyball outside of school.
When a couple of lumps that were up to good,
started making trouble in my neighborhood.
I had one little test and my family got scared,
Dr. said, “You’ve got cancer, but let’s kick it out of here!”
Went through Chemo, lost all of my hair
Felt really weak, didn’t like lookin’ in the mirror
Doctors said, “tumor’s shrinkin’, yo' almost there!”
And in end, I would say I was a survivor!
I pulled through surgery and by December 8,
I was remission, I told the cancer “see ya later!”
I looked at my life, CANCER FREE,
I put on my cape as Queen of Team KLB.
I hope you were able to sing along in your head and that you enjoyed it!
Also, around this time last year, this TED talk replayed in my mind over and over. I had seen it several months prior, and all I could think of was how this woman discusses "coming out" and how it felt very much like coming out when I announced that I had cancer. I refer to it as my "cancer coming out". It's a great video, I hope you take the time to watch it.
My hair is growing back and while I'm glad I have it and I'll take this over no hair ANYDAY, I really hate it. Everyone says, "you're hair looks great" or "I really love it" and one friend even said that I looked more beautiful with short hair because hair would just take away from the beauty of my face. (While that was a wonderful compliment, I used to have hair for the previous 30 years of my life and I never felt that way.) It's not that I don't appreciate the compliments, I truly do appreciate them, but I hate my hair the way it is and I am anxiously waiting for it to return to a more normal length and style. My hair is still my scarlet letter (as far as I'm concerned). It tells me and the world (but mostly me) every morning when I wake up "She had cancer".
I'm still about three-four months out from my swap surgery. I'll post more info about it after I talk with the plastic surgeon in July. I'll be very happy to have real implants. I've heard that they are much more comfortable than my current expanders (because these are not comfortable - especially sleeping!).
Thanks for your continued love and support!
<3 Queen of Team KLB