Merry Christmas

I am so thankful for the love of everyone who has shared in this journey. Never once did our family feel as if we were walking through this alone. Everyday I would watch with a thankful heart as my wife would sit and read the comments on PostHope and find strength in the Love communicated through each post. This has been the hardest test and trial I have ever gone through and at times I thought it might be the final test. The trials started long before the storm or the seizure, those events were just the beginning of the end of a long hard season.

For most of the year I wrestled with the fact that I most likely would not be coming home for a long time. In order for Cris Ann and me to return to the U.S. together we would have had to travel to Cebu or Manila several times to apply and interview for Cris Ann's visa and we were just not financially able to do this and purchase tickets to fly home. I was not willing to leave Cris Ann behind for any amount of time so I was expecting to be in the Philippines as long as it took for the Lord to provide. I had wrestled in prayer and often through tears over this decision. I cried, grappled and fell to my knees over accepting the fact that I have not met my new nieces and I most likely would not meet them until they were much older. Icky, my dog was dying of cancer and I would not get to see him again or be there when he passed. I wrestled with the chance that my family would begin to wonder if I even wanted to come home and that my decision to stay showed a lack of love for them.

As I wrestled spiritually I was wrestling physically as well. To be honest I was losing the fight both physically and spiritually; I was dying in both respects and my poor wife had to watch as I physically and spiritually suffered almost to the point of death. She was there for me everyday and because she is always so saturated in God's Word and concerned with her calling as a wife, God used her as my spiritual life support. Then, over the last few months, you have become our spiritual life support. When we couldn't breath, you breathed for us, when we couldn't move, you gave our legs strength and when our faith was on empty your love was our reserve tank. What I am saying is you have shown me and my family, on a very real and personal level, the Love of Christ and the Light of His Glory through His Church, the body of Christ. Jesus said that the Church will be identified by the great love it shows for each other. Although we are flawed in the flesh love covers a multitude of sin and will over shadow any flaw we have. 

This is it, over the last three and a half years I finally understand the importance of the Church on a personal level. I see the importance of fellowship with the body and the damage it will do to my spiritual life when I am not fellowshipping with a healthy Church. I recently read in  a very well known book, that a Christian who is not active in a local, healthy fellowship will suffer spiritually until death. It wasn't the burden of poverty, cultural differences, or sacrifices that was killing me every year I was in the Philippines. It was a lack of healthy fellowship with the Church. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and one of the major ways He strengthens me is through His Church. Over the last three in a half years in the Philippine jungle I have learned so much and grown in so many ways in my relationship with the Lord. I learned the difference between religion, self-justification and a true heart relationship with the Lord, serving Him with a joyful heart not out of duty. I have learned to give everything to those around me and when the response is ingratitude and unthankfulness to respond in love knowing this is how the Lord responds to my unthankfulness. I have grown in the knowledge of His Word and developed a solid New and Old Testament theology, as well as a systematic theology during the hours of study the Lord provided in the jungle. I can go on and on with the many lessons learned, but the most important and hardest lesson learned may be the most basic, personal fellowship with the Church. Every year I found myself worn down and burdened and I never could put my finger on why. I can not do all things through Christ who strengthens me unless I am actively fellowshipping with a healthy body, being mutually encouraged and strengthened. 

The Lord is amazing! It was impossible for so many reasons for me to be sitting here with my wife and family writing this blog. What are the chances that the largest storm in recorded history would drop right on top of us. There are 2000 inhabited islands in the Philippines and the storm can only hit one side of the island and it dropped right on us. The Lord used the storm to bring in the support needed to get the visa and come home and He used the Church to do it. The Church stepped up, joined in on our journey and cared our burdens when we could not. Your love, through your comments, prayers and financial support has forever changed my and my wife's life. Never again will I take for granted the importance of personal fellowship with the Body of Christ. I know it is a basic truth but if anyone is finding themselves on spiritual life support, take a look at your fellowship with the body, or the lack of it and allow the Lord to strengthen you through the Church whom He died for. Thank you again for your all your support!