COFFEE OR TEA?

Yesterday, Gary asked me to write an update. I must admit that I really struggled writing an update and exposing this part of our struggles and really mostly my personal struggles.

The day before yesterday I sat with Caleb and he said, " I think we all thought that once I got home I would get better and better. But here I sit sick and fighting off an unknown sickness with no solution."  I had just asked Caleb if he thought we should go to the hospital and have him checked out for parasite's or an infectious disease. Caleb was more scared of not finding the answer. He expressed concerns that not finding a solution to his health problems could leave him feeling more helpless then he already did. But in faith, Caleb, Cris Ann and I headed to the hospital with a post a note that Gary had written all of Caleb's symptoms on. I am going to cut through the six hour wait and my feelings of frustration to tell you that Caleb's blood work, urine and MRI were normal. We were grateful but still not sure if his condition was life threatening, but we were sent home.

Caleb and Cris Ann had peace and accepted that all God would have accomplished was done. I on the other hand did not have peace.  I wanted answers, I wanted to know without a doubt that Caleb was ok, I wanted to leave with everything resolved, I wanted it my way, and it was evident in my attitude. I asked my friend why things happened this way when we asked God to have the right people at the hospital, to help us find out what was wrong with Caleb and then we were sent home with no answers. She replied, "These kinds of things can be hard to understand sometimes."  I was exhausted and devastated, as this journey started to feel just too long, again. I wept in confusion and I clung to things that I believed were true, promises in fact, but as I searched the Word of God and listened and watched my son and his wife, I realized peace eluded me because I wanted it my way, my way I could understand and make sense of, I thought.

 In the meantime, Uncle Don and Aunt Shery were busy calling a Doctor whose children attend   Kings School. He is a neurologist and a Christian man, who by Gods grace was willing to help us sort through Caleb's condition. (Caleb currently does not have health insurance. He applied for Med I Cal and it is pending. He should have it no later then the end of the month.) So yesterday the christen doctor who is one of only three neurologist in the whole Coachella Valley, pulled Caleb's records from his home, the records from the hospital visit from the pervious day. Hum, those records would not have been there to pull up if we had not gone there the day before.  After the doctor reviewed Caleb's records he agreed that if Caleb had parasites and or a infectious disease, there was no damage or evidence in the brain, kidneys or liver, that was great news!! It meant that if these were issues in Caleb's health, they would be in the beginning stages.  We were sent back to the hospital for a spinal tap. It was the first day Caleb actually was feeling better, quite a bit better. And I am thinking, " Are you kidding? This feels to me like when I wait and wait to take my car to the mechanic and the day I get to take it because I can finally afford it and the mechanic has an appointment, the car runs beautifully and the mechanic says, I have to bring the car back when it is making "the" noise or not running well. UGH. But Caleb stayed calm and truthful with the doctors, willing to accept that if he was seen as feeling better they might send him home without any further treatment or tests. Caleb was open to Gods plan and direction for his life and the outcome of the hospital visit, I on the other hand was not.

  We waited in the lobby for five hours and were finally told that Caleb  would be having the spinal tap procedure. Thank you Lord. Ten hours later we were told the results are good news, the Spinal Tap results were clear!!! no infection, no inflammation....PTL  The doctor bless his heart reported it may be Post Concussion Syndrome which can come at any time, being that Caleb has a very low threshold because of all the trauma, the typhoon, the malnutrition, and the dehydration. The doctor has offered to see Caleb in his office this week. We are grateful and humbled. 

The last bit to this story is a prayer request also. While in the Philippines right before the seizure, his paralyzed arm was swollen, really swollen, like a watermelon and he was in terrible pain. Today his arm pit is very swollen and since he has been home he sets off the alarm's when we walk in and out of stores, that he has walked in and out of for years without setting the alarms off. The good news is that we need a neurologist to determine if Caleb has some sort of reaction to the rod in his paralyzed arm and of course we have one working with us. Thank you Lord.

Other prayer requests are, prayer for Caleb the next three days he may suffer from serious migraines as a result of the spinal tap. Prayers for provision, thank you so much for all you have done, your generous gifts have allowed Caleb and Cris Ann to rest and heal, they are a delight to watch together as they wait on the Lord for HIS plans for their lives. Cris Ann is teaching the Wednesday night bible study at my house and all ladies are welcome, she is a wonderful teacher.  

A couple of updates from the Philippines, Jr. who my cousin supports monthly continues to attend school and Cris Ann and Caleb send his support each month. There is an awesome story to share about him in another post. JR the orphan has been arrested and we are all grateful because we know as a minor he has such a better chance of getting the help he so desperately needs. This is also another praise report to post another time!

So, I think, how can I write this update, knowing that I wanted my coffee, the way I wanted it, dark, with cream, no sugar. I like it that way, it makes sense and it makes me feel safe when I see my cup of coffee just the way I like it. The other day I had some tea with honey. It was really weird, the whole experience was so foreign, the tea bag, getting the sweet and gooey honey from the container to the cup with out it being all over everything, and if you know me that's what usually happens, and it did, but once I got through the tea experience, I loved it! Yep, you heard me I love hot tea!! Who would have thought?

Not me, if you asked me a couple of days ago if I liked hot tea I would have said of course not, I am a die hard coffee drinker. But this morning I sit here writing to you, humbled by Gods love for myself and each of you, meditating on the fact that I am loved, we are all loved, that we live in a heartbreaking world, and that God the eternal God, the omniscient, amazing one, has a plan for each of our lives.

It is just so real this morning as I write this post and realize that once again God showed up, he was and has been in all of the details. It was me demanding things my way, things that were  familiar and seemed right and safe. It was me who did not rest in the circumstances and fought back when I was offered tea. It is me this morning who is sitting and taking in the love God has for me, tears of gratitude streaming down my cheeks, knowing that this LOVE is there for us all when we sit and rest in our Fathers love. 

Blessings, Dawn

PS. I had to take my Facebook down as I am starting a private practice. So all communication from me will be through Post Hope. You are welcome to post these updates on your Face Book pages.