I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU

It’s been a long time since I have written due to my father’s fight with cancer. I wanted to take a step back for a while, while my family was dealing with the initial stages of my dad’s condition. However, as of late, the Lord has pressed upon my heart to write an update; so here I go.

The nine months Cris Ann and me have been home, have not gone the way we expected and have been exceptionally trying, especially for Cris Ann. My heart hurts for her knowing the extreme trials she is going through. She is 21 years old, in the first year of marriage, adapting to a new culture, living well below the poverty line, 3000 miles away from her family, her husband had been very sick and her father in-law now sick with cancer. She has cried out with tears running down her face, “I want to go home!” And I do not blame her. If it was not for our belief in God and His clear teaching on marriage we would not have made it through this first year. It is our knowledge of God’s Word and our hope for the future that keeps us going.

We truly thought the trials were over after the Super Storm sent us back to the US. After narrowly escaping Tacloban City with our lives, surviving the biggest storm to ever touch ground in recorded history, surviving a seizure and starvation in one of the most remote places on earth, we thought the trials were over. We expected that I would recover physically in a couple months and we would return to continue our work in the Philippines. This was not the case, however. My memory did not return, I passed out and landed in the ER more than once and along with many other physical symptoms I was struggling with terrible depression.

Six months after returning I was finally feeling well enough to go to work with my dad. Cris Ann and me would walk everyday and talk about how we could not wait to have our own place, steady income and a kitchen for Cris to cook in. This was a mile stone day. We could see our independent, healthy future closer than ever. But tragedy hit the next morning. Dad ended up in the ER the very next morning with stage four cancers with a terminal diagnosis. Our world was again turned upside down. Dad closed Barton construction and we were out of work, Cris Ann became dad’s care giver and cook and our lives now revolved around saving our dad’s life. Two months after my dad’s diagnosis my parents decided to move home to Santa Cruz and sell the house in Palm Springs. The idea to move and sell the home and actually moving all happened in about three weeks. This was absolutely an amazing opportunity provided by the Lord but once again Cris and I were jobless with no place to live. Relying on the Lord for all things, my uncle Don and Aunt Sherry stepped in with a place for us to live and Cris Ann and me started looking for jobs like there was no tomorrow.

Now with a place to live and dad moved to Santa Cruz, our number one goal was to find work. This is very difficult for three reasons. First, the job market for high school graduates with little to no experience is very competitive. Secondly, the hiring managers always have trouble looking past my paralyzed, deformed arm and I just can’t get the same chance as other applicants. Thirdly, I spent the last four years in the Philippines doing mission work which employers here in the states see as a waste of time. I found a job with a trucking company however, named, C.R. England, that trains and gives its applicants a class A licence and gets them in a truck in two weeks. Cris and I were once again soooo excited and thankful to the Lord for providing not just a job, but a career. However, on the second day we had medical evaluations and I was sent home because of my arm. This was devastating and I could not believe it! This sent us back to the job search. I interviewed for a few jobs and got one with a marketing company. Again our moral was raised and we were giving thanks to the Lord. Maryann, our second mother, saw our need for a car and donated $1500.000 to get a car. Cris Ann and I were floating on clouds! The car is not much to look at but it will get us were we need to go. Unfortunately, the man who hired me and gave me two interviews gave me the run around and never followed through; again we were crushed. We are not just crushed, but seriously in need. Thank the Lord I found temporary work at a car dealership and Cris had a week worth of babysitting that would have provided for us financially. But the family told Cris Ann on Sunday they no longer needed her when she was supposed to start Monday. This brought her to tears, another let down and we were completely reliant on the money from that job. We were so financially in need Cris Ann had to use toilet paper instead of pads during her time of months. Also, my lips were so chapped during work they became very red and cracked. We had no way to buy chapped stick so I asked my employer if he had a first aid kit hoping to find petroleum jelly. When he asked what I needed the first aid kit for, I had to humiliatingly admit that I could not buy chapped stick and needed petroleum jelly. I am sure it goes without saying; there are many other examples of our poverty affecting our lives. I told my aunt Sherry of our situation and she jumped in and helped right away. We are so thankful for her and our uncle Don.

Due to our situation, we need to have a new place to live by November 11^th. This is scary, an impossible task, but all things are possible with God. Just this morning Cris Ann and I talk to a man named Bob who owns a trucking company and is looking to hire. He is involved with King Schools, my uncle Don’s and Aunt Sherry’s school. He is a very nice Christian man and will call me back Monday to tell me the pay and tell me if I am his newest employee. This would be perfect because he said Cris Ann could come on the road with me so we could be on the road in a week and easily meet our move out date. We are not sure where we will stay when we are not on the road, but I know the Lord has a place ready for us.

There is good news. I am feeling much better physically and mentally. I am able to run and do push ups, my memory is back and I just feel much better physically and mentally.

This season in our lives has been beyond hard. It is not about our faith or us hanging on to the Lord. We have gotten to the point where we can no longer hang on, we are too weak. But God did not let go, when we are too weak to hang on, He is still there holding us in His hands. He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” We have been way too weak to hang on and when we let go we find ourselves in His hands. What is best is that when all this is said and done we know we will be transformed more into the image of Christ and in our weakness He became strong and used our struggles to transform us. Nothing we go through will be wasted but God will use all things for our good. We find hope in this.

If you feel led to pray for us, please pray that this job goes through and we find a place to live before November 11^th. Your prayers and encouraging comments have always ment so much to me.

Thank you and God Bless