Grace

Recently, I have experienced the grace of God in a way I never thought possible. The Lord has brought me my helper, Cris Ann, the girl that was made to complete me and our union in Christ. She is brilliant, the director from her Bible collage wants her to take over and teach the Greek class next year because she excelled beyond the current teacher. She is beautiful and pure, a precious daughter of God. She loves the Lord and puts Him first, she knows Him because she knows His word and she grows in Him every day.
How can this be???
Three years ago I was sitting in the Orange County Jail. I was arrested for two felony charges and high on drugs. After losing my arm I lost all ambition in life. Everything I strived for was gone and I was left with a dead arm that was miserably painful. Depression started to sink in soon after and I began to reach for my pain medicine to treat the spiritual pain as well as the physical. This worked for a while, but the medicine was sucking the life out of my soul and eventually left me an empty shell. It was my master; it was my reason for getting out of bed and the only way to go to sleep. I reached the darkest pit and the drugs had me in prison with no way out. The spiritual pain and physical was unbearable and I was angry with God for saving me, I just wanted to die! Why would you save me? I have become a drug addict and criminal, depressed and hopeless, tortured by every type of evil. Finally, it came to that point, I had nothing left, no fight, no hope, no joy, no love and death seemed to be the only option. In that moment of complete and under helplessness, in came my Saviour and comforted me with His love.
Over a short time I experienced grace upon grace. The old heart of stone was gone, it was beyond repair, but God gave me a new one that loves Him and responds to Him and sees His love and grace in all things. It is a heart that finds strength in the joy of the Lord and has hope for the future that can't be moved.
Two months later, I am flying to the Philippines to study His word in a remote village. Grace fell on me here as children responded in love, some, like Hubert, were completely transformed and the Lord gave them a new heart, as He did for me. We found grace in the community and the Lord has transformed this place from darkness to light! I am now a director of a Bible school and the Lord is pouring out His grace here and like He always does, He breathed life into this place and transformed it; Grace upon grace!

But now, Criss Ann, His pure, precious daughter. No way!! Not for me Lord! Remember who I am and the places I have been, Your grace abounds but this can't be. The Lord responded in a way that has changed me, He showed me that when Jesus cleansed me and covered my sins with blood, it was complete. When He looks on me, He sees no stain, no blemish from the past, only Holy perfection in Christ. Never have I felt so free in Christ, Cris Ann is a gift of grace I never thought possible. There is no way the Lord would give me His daughter, untouched by the world, if He saw the past. It is gone and Cris Ann reminds me of that every day. When I see her face and hear her voice, I hear and see God’s amazing grace.