Something Missing

Honestly, I came to the internet cafe excited! Excited to write about how mightily the Lord's work in the hospital was today and how lives were saved. However, the Lord has been weighing heavy something that was missing in my life. At times, prayer seems burdensome and a weighty task. It hasn't always been this way, at times in my life I have felt the power of open communication with the one true God and the intimacy one can only feel by dyeing of the flesh and being alone with our Father.

I did not try and force myself to pray longer and harder, as I normally would. I've experienced enough in my relationship with our Lord to know, that anything done by my own effort, even those things with the best of intentions, will fail and end in frustration. Rather, I told the Lord how I desired to have a deeper relationship with Him. I went on saying "Lord I can not and will not attempt this on my own effort! Father, let Your Spirit teach me to pray and give me the desire to do so." In faith, I stopped my some what repetitious prayers and prayed the prayer above, or something similar every day. My flesh fought!

Every night for two weeks my flesh would scream for me to pray more and pray harder. My head would tell me that if I didn't pray for my loved ones they may be in danger, or something might happen. Not this time, I won't fall for your lies this time Satan! I waited on and trusted in the word I had received from the Lord and as always He showed up! About two weeks after the original request to "teach me to pray" I needed a change of pace from the everyday task of studying and charting.

I asked my brother Denis if he had a book I could read. He replied yes, and after denying the first book he offered, I excitedly said yes to the second book; one on none other than praying and titled, "Lord teach me to pray." O thank you Lord for answering my prayer and request. I went straight to my bed and eagerly began to read, planning on reading till I found the answers I was looking for and fixing my prayer problem that night! I quickly found, once again, that I wouldn't be doing it my way, or at my speed, this was a 28 day study, one day at a time. Last week, while on the west side of the island, The Lord led me to a wonderful book titled, "Power through Prayer."

The book was written by an old school brother by the name of E.M. Bounds, who died in 1913. This book has nothing to do with how to pray, but the author makes the importance of prayer very clear. The Lord, once again light the fire to pray! As I study prayer, my eagerness to pray more as I see prayer change things. I love the fact that effective prayer changes things, but the true reward is a selfish one. I feel closer to the Lord than ever! The Lord promises that, if we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us.

Here is a quote from E.M. Bounds that the Lord used to check my heart: Behind this early rising and early praying is the passionate desire which presses us into this pursuit after God. Morning indifference is an index to a listless heart. The heart which is late in seeking God in the morning has lost its relish for God. A desire for God that cannot break the chains of sleep is a weak thing and will do but little good for God after it has indulged itself fully. That desire for God, that keeps so far behind the Devil and the world at the beginning of the day, will never catch up. E.M. Bounds Prayer is the second greatest gift God has given to His creation, the first is Jesus.