BRACE YOURSELVES

Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
…
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me.

-Casting Crowns

We braced ourselves today. Radiology came to take him to his next MRI/MRV so they could look and see how much worse his brain damage has gotten because of the inflammation and infection. The small stroke areas he had in addition to the meninges caused some initial clots (as already mentioned) which can cause cascading issues. For the MRV they injected a dye to trace the blood vessels in the brain to see if blood is getting around the clots. Apparently, this imaging test is the very upper limits of modern technology and physics. Pretty interested how they do that. Anyway… The neurology doctors came in before they had even looked at the images, and started looking at them on the computer. Taryn was on the lower floors visiting with a friend and the Dr. said “how about we call mom and get her up here.”

Fast forward: At the end of the conversation the boss neurologist explained that he was honestly trying to finish work early so he could get out the door before Brock’s imaging results came in so that he wouldn’t have to come in and explain the difficult news that his brain damage and clot damage has gotten worse.

Rewind: We waited in silence for a while during the time the neurologists examined and compared the images from today’s MRI/V and the one from Tuesday. Taryn came in and he began showing us the results. He went through the radiologists’ report, which is basically nuclear physics mixed with some form of Martian. He said that with cases as bad as Brock’s, the brain experiences more and more damage as the infection goes on, inflaming further and deeper areas of the brain; reiterating that Group B Strep Meningitis is his least favorite condition because of how aggressive it is.

Then he said, “Given all of that, I’m actually pretty ASTONISHED.” Explaining that he would have placed money down on seeing more damage and more clots, and was surprised to find that the MRI results are basically the same (i.e.- the damage has not really gotten worse, like he expected.)

In a world where a good “victory” is something like winning the lottery or getting a promotion or an A on an exam, I am perfectly happy with news like “things aren’t any worse than they were before.” That’s currently the standard of what we consider “good news.”

So we rejoice in the good news that there is no additional bad news. Thank the Father with us that this MRI revealed no additional damage, and pray that the MRI that they’ll do in two weeks or so (unless they feel like they need one sooner due to worsening physical behavior/symptoms) reveals the same or even some sort of miraculous reversal.

They did show us that, as expected with meningitis, he’ll need hearing tests at some point because of the evidence of inflation around the inner-ear tissues.

The committee of doctors working with him decided they DIDN’T want to wait “several more days” to retry the spinal tap, and decided that they would attempt it again today. The Infectious Disease doctors are the ones who are most vocal about the desire to see his spinal fluid. After some conversations with the neurological doctors, they decided that they would give US the choice to put it off another day. There seems to be some argument among the doctors about the spinal tap: the ones who have TRIED the puncture insist they are hitting the right spot but that there is no fluid there, whereas the ones who have NOT tried insist that the previous doctors are simply not putting the needle in the right spot. We opted to keep today on a positive note with the good news that there’s no additional damage, and not potentially end the day with disappointed doctors and parents who still can’t see the spinal fluid (and confirm for a fact that the antibiotics are doing their job killing the bacteria). The attending physician (boss lady) will try the LP tomorrow.

“To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
And to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory.” – Casting Crowns

I would give MY last breath to never see Brock’s last breath. Oh the LOVE of The Father to send His Son! And the SUFFERING of The Father to witness his death! I begin to understand more and more every hour. 

Father, may Brock’s cup pass from him. I don’t think I’m ready to say the next part. My HEAD gets it, but as many “you’re so strong” comments as we’ve received, that is not yet where our HEARTS are. As I noticed a good friend of mine is praying, I also pray for faithfulness through this endeavor. Not only for me, but for all. We brace ourselves for the likelihood of bad news, and we brace ourselves for the hopeful arrival good news; and we yearn for the day... 

The infant will play near the cobra’s den,
    and the young child will put its hand into the viper’s nest.
They will neither harm nor destroy
    on all my holy mountain,
for the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the Lord
    as the waters cover the sea. (Isaiah 11)

Grace and Peace~

Brad and Taryn

www.GrapevineChurch.com