Today marks the end of a year. A year long journey of pancreatic cancer treatments. It didn’t go as expected but we continue moving forward. So many ups and downs as I reflect on the last year. So many changes and adjustments. So many sad days. That’s a big part of the journey. Continually adjusting to a new life and what it means. Finding ways to enjoy life despite all the obstacles and set-backs. And, yes, having all your feelings. There is no way around it. You feel it. You feel it deeply. Then you find a way to pick yourself up and move on. Some days you act like everything is normal. When somebody asks how you are feeling, we probably give a little white lie “I’m doing ok” or “We’re hanging in there”. Because honestly, who really wants to hear the truth. Some days we can’t even find the words to explain all the feelings.
Amidst the worldly chaos, we move forward. Gary has chemo today. It was a nice break having two weeks off of chemo. We are anxious about leaving home today. He needs labs at the hospital. He also needs to check in with a medical professional because he was in the hospital since his last chemo treatment. We are anxious about the long day ahead. Anxious about spending so much time in medical facilities. Thanks Andrea for the N95 masks. Some small comfort having those available.
Gary does not have an ulcer. Gary does not have a bacterial infection (H. Pylori) in his stomach or duodenum. The final diagnosis from last week’s trip to the ER is gastritis – inflammation.
As we begin this new year, we are praying that the chemo is effective and doing its job. We are praying that the stomach inflammation subsides and Gary gets relief. We are praying for another year of finding joy in new ways. A year with less ER visits, less infections, and more effective chemotherapy that is more easily tolerated. Another year of living and beating the odds.
I thank each and every one of you that helped during this last year. We couldn’t have done it without you. I’m thankful every day for our wonderful support system.