Dec 2: The passing of the baton

I apologize for the long silence.  But, as the saying goes, no news is good news.  And indeed there is so much good news!  In the first hours after Steph’s accident, I clearly remember the surgeon saying she wasn’t sure Steph would make it out of the hospital.  But, did she ever! And as I reflect on the past few months and all the ups and downs of Steph’s recovery, a few things really stand out:

(1) Stephanie is amazing.  I’ve always known this, but this is a new level of amazing.  When I first arrived at the hospital hours after the accident, Stephanie was still in her first surgery.  Dennis and I were in the waiting room scared and anxiously waiting for the surgeon to come out with reassuring news that Stephanie was going to be ok.  Only those really weren’t the words or sentiment we got.  The only real glimmer of hope the surgeon, and later the trauma doctors and ICU nurses, could offer us was that Steph was young and healthy prior to the accident.  We were warned repeatedly that if and when Steph woke up from her coma, she would very likely have brain damage and may need to relearn to walk, swallow, talk, and that she might not be the same in terms of personality.  When there was more bleeding in her brain and need for a second surgery on day 2, the surgeon asked bluntly whether or not Stephanie had a directive.  It was very scary.

But what a long way Steph has come from those first few hours and days!  And so quickly! Steph’s recovery has been and continues to be nothing short of miraculous. Her outpatient rehab program has been reduced to 3 days a week allowing her to do some volunteer work in the local community as part of her OT therapy and path to going back to work. She is back to running (though she’s disappointed with her *slow* 8:30 pace, hem).   She celebrated her 30th birthday in November with the sweetest surprise party surrounded by some of her dearest friends, many of which she hadn’t seen since before the accident.  She’s back to wowing people with her cooking.  She’s practicing driving with her OT. By most accounts, the Steph we all know and love is making quite the comeback!  She does still have aphasia and her road to recovery isn’t over, but despite this and all that she’s been through, she almost never complains. Instead, she focuses her energy on staying strong, resilient, and determined and even on the well-being of her friends and family.

(2) Dennis is inspiring.  He truly is.  While I’ve known Dennis a long time, we’ve always lived miles apart, so I hadn’t had the opportunity to really get to know him.  But through all this, it’s clear to me that Steph made an incredible choice in marrying Dennis!  From the first hours after the accident, Dennis set a tone of positivity and love that undoubtedly played a big role in the energy Steph felt and the care/support she received, charting the course for her recovery.  He established a code of conduct for Steph’s ICU and hospital rooms.  No negativity.  No talking about Steph like she’s not there.  Patience and respect at all times.  The room was quickly plastered with pictures of Steph and her (their) life that he faithfully moved from room to room as she transitioned around the hospital (thanks to the army of helpers who solicited and collected pictures to make this possible).  The rooms were further made calm and comfortable with cozy lights & favorite music playing.  Dennis was a constant cheerleader and advocate, hardly leaving Steph’s side.  He kept pages of notes and bulleted lists of things to ask the doctors, things to tell all of us, things to confirm with HR, insurance, etc....How he has and continues to power through is beyond me.  I am in such awe of how he took charge of the situation with such strength and grace.

(3) You all are wonderful.  And it’s been such a pleasure to witness (and meet) the networks of friends and family Steph has created in her life.  Given how dire Stephanie’s situation was, I am now, more than ever, a firm believer in the power of the kind of energy you all generated through your thoughts, prayers, and well wishes as it most certainly played a role in Steph’s recovery.  The way everyone so quickly surrounded Steph, Dennis, and our families in your love and support was unbelievable.  And the financial contributions were so generous and have provided such a safety net for them (thank you!).  It’s all been such a reminder of not only the goodness in the world, but the importance of how we each chose to be in the world.  Your kindness is a testament to who Stephanie is.  Everyone loves to be around Steph.  She is fun and caring and has a way of making you feel like you are best friends.  And you are.  That’s just how she is.  And it does make you wonder just how much better the world would be if we all could find ways make each other feel as welcomed and loved as Steph is able to do, often within minutes.  

As I wrap up this post, I also pass on the baton to Steph.  I will keep this site open for now and use it as a way to connect if/when needed.  But otherwise, I will leave it to Steph to share her own updates as she wants and through her own social media sites.  

Thank you all, so very much.  Happiest of holidays and best wishes for 2018!

Go Steph Go!