Independence
Tuesday was a big day for moving toward one of my foremost goals, that of driving behind the wheel of a large automobile. I reported to the appointed place at nine o'clock and was escorted to the driver's ed office by a very serious but good-natured fellow. He proceeded to test my vision, reflexes, manual dexterity, cognitive reasoning, grip strength, scrotal symmetry, and what else I can't remember. Seemingly satisfied with my performance, he gave me a two-minute explanation of how the hand controls work, and off we went to the garage. There awaited a Chrysler 300 into which I cleanly transferred. Another brief tutorial regarding the controls, and off we went to cruise the mean streets of Buckhead, Peachtree Road, and I-75. Although it felt a bit awkward at first, it became surprisingly easy fairly quickly, and by the end of the 90 minutes or so I felt very comfortable behind the wheel (although I did see his foot near the override brake twitch a couple of times). "So now I have the driving thing down", or so I thought. Unfortunately, there's still that thing where, after an immaculate transfer from the w/c to the car, one still has to disassemble, place into the car, and then reassemble said w/c before performing another pristine transfer back into w/c at one's destination. Since that morning I've had three grueling sessions practicing that second part, and it does indeed appear that driving with hand controls is the easy part. It is doubtful that I'll ever be able to make this look as effortless as the you-tube videos I've watched, but I am hopeful that, with three more weeks to work on this, it will become something I can do without people staring, laughing, or running to my aid.
In other news, daily sessions of weight or resistance training continue, as do endurance building (think w/c cruising through the bowels of Shepherd and adjacent Piedmont Hospital), balance exercises, PT and OT, vocational therapy, and classes on nutrition, exercise, and emergency preparedness (did you know that those with mobility issues are disproportionately affected by natural disasters?). Despite all the above, I have not yet become buff, but I am getting stronger and more capable in most areas.
I regret to announce that I have no bowel or bladder issues to air at this time.
I had a couple outings last week with very old friends including Robert Good, who took me to watch a French WWII film (unsuccessfully, tant pis), and Ben Pugh, who took me to dinner at the Ponce City Market. We were also visited by Emily and Steve Talley, neighbors and good friends from Staunton, who made the drive with only 15 rest stops (just kidding, Steve). We also got to enjoy dinner with Carol Ramsey (in town doing wardrobe for the latest Damon Wayans film) and her husband Doug (in town visiting his wife and editing his book on a Civil War prison break). Outings such as the above make life seem more normal again; the w/c doesn't disappear, but its importance becomes diminished and less defining.
Thanks also to my co-workers at RMH in Radiation Oncology who sent a very delicious selection of Harry and David fruit. My large intestine thanks you as well.
As always, Nancy remains my steadfast caregiver and co-traveller through this alien land. Again, not a trip either of us remembers signing up for, but one that we're on nonetheless, and will continue to travel along with our family and those of you who want to tag along. Just try to keep up, okay?
Comments (29)
Bravo, dear sir and your lovely Nancy. We are cheering from the stands. Those curves in the road are there for us all. Keep driving!
Wow, Rob, congratulations on all your progress! Lots of love to all of you!!!
Sounds like your days are pretty grueling, but it also sounds like you are making real progress towards regaining your independence. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
I’m curious to know what new bumper sticker you will get for your tricked out vehicle.....to be continued I suppose 😀
Great progress! You are truly amazing! Wishing you the best as you continue to hone the skills that give you more independence.
You’re amazing, Rob! Love reading your updates and following your progress. Though your mother was spared the heartache of your accident, she’d be so proud of how you are responding to this challenge.
Dr Kyler Your determination and progress just amaze me. I cant wait until you are back to work. You are an inspiration to anyone who is going through any type of situation regardless if its paralysis or cancer. You have shown a remarkable amount of determination and willpower to want to get on with your life. If half of your patients put forth just half of your effort I believe the statistics would be better as far as success. You are an amazing Doctor and patient. God bless you on your journey.
Hey, Rob. Seriously, no need for regrets re: your failure to air any bowel or bladder issues at this time. You already had us at "scrotal symmetry." It's great to hear about the driving adventure. I have seen guys get themselves in and out of such driving machines from their wheelchairs and they've made it look as natural as climbing in and out of a four wheeled contraption could be under any other conditions. So, I know that over time you will master that skill quite adroitly. I was so glad to hear from Carol and Doug that they had a great dinner with you. They had only positive news to share. Here's to a successful final three weeks of this phase of your comeback - for both Nancy and you. -Greg
You continue amaze me with your humor and writing. I miss our conversations about current events and hope someone got you an absentee ballot for the upcoming midterms...:)
I always enjoy reading your posts, Rob. If no one else does it, I will copy and paste them into a book, along with hand-drawn cartoons of all your adventures.
Thinking of you and Nancy always. Its good to hear that you are meeting your goals. I don't know Forrest, but I would love to see his book created from your posts and his hand drawn cartoons. Thank you for continuing to share with us and may you continue to reach all your goals.
Absolutely amazing what a guy with a symmetrical scrotum can do!
Hello, Dr Kyler. You probably don’t know me , but I live in Staunton and go to Trinity Episcopal. I remember you and your family from there. I’m an OTR & CDRS and have worked at WWRC for many years. I’ve really appreciated your writings as you so succinctly captured the essence of your journey. I’m very familiar with navigating the Virginia DMV process for using adaptive driving equipment and about the Virginia vendors who sell equipment. If I can be of help to you at any point in the process, please feel free to contact me. All the best to you. Kay Buchanan
I’d like to take you up on your offer. My email is [email protected]
Rob, thanks for your continued updates. Your determination, positive attitude and progress are all amazing. While many of us are not in a position to visit you in Atlanta, we do keep up with your progress and keep you in our prayers. Oh, and by the way, what exactly is a “scrotal symmetry”? Is that something all men should have checked routinely? Can anyone be trained to check for it? Just asking....
Wonderful to hear of your progress and positivity. Keep on keeping on. Love, the Haughtons
If you can navigate the streets and interstate highways in Buckhead, anywhere else will be a piece of cake!
Hey Rob, Well, the Yankees lost, the world’s a mess, the markets are shaky, who’d have thought that you’d be the most heartening story out there? I seem to remember really terrible traffic in Atlanta, but really happy to think of you out in the middle of it! I remember the collapsing the stroller problem, trying get into a cab, with two squirming kids and a line of honking cars. I can see that collapsing the w/c (getting the lingo) could be rough. Maybe they’ll come up with CitiChairs and you can just rent one and then drop it by the side of the road when you’re moving on. Lots of love from gray NYC to you and Nancy, e
Woohoo! You're leaving Toad of Toad Hall in the dust! If we hear a locomotive has been hijacked, we'll know who took it! Oop-oop!
Rob - I am a friend of several of YOUR friends. I currently live in Staunton, but grew up in Atlanta. Driving ANY sort of vehicle in Atlanta is no easy task, so I am super impressed with the driving! Keep up the fantastic work. - Wendy
I like the scrotal symmetry part. So your driver ed trainer handled your balls!
Love your posts, Rob! Congrats on conquering the roads of Atlanta! So glad you have Nancy by your side throughout this challenging journey.
Buckhead is a lovely practice driving neighborhood! I don't know about your scrotal symmetry, but evidently, you continue to progress apace! I'm guessing that by next week, you'll be tossing the w/c into the car and swinging it out again at the end of the ride! So many of us are in awe of your grace and humor through this journey. Continuing to send good vibes your way as you master each challenge. xrb
Thanks for the updates, very impressed that you drove on I-75, I thought a deserted airport might have been a better place to start. Sounds like the strength & encouragement you gave us and others during our battles with cancer is carrying over to your own rehab. Looking forward to seeing you on I-81 sometime soon! Penny and Brian
I would imagine that much of what you've witnessed your patients experience over your years as an oncologist have help put into perspective the ordeals you've had to go through as of late. Perhaps, giving you access to dormant abilities locked inside the human spirit. Like a cycle of shared wisdom, the process of their struggles gave back to you. And now, your struggles can help those in your near future of doctoring. And so on...
You continue to amaze us all. I continue to pray for your strength and patience and thank you for sharing this journey with us all. I probably don't need to suggest this, but save all of your posts (and comments, if you wish). Our daughter saved all of her Caring Bridge posts during her breast cancer journey and is now publishing some of them to hopefully give hope to others going through the same experience. We always need to know we are not alone. It helps that you are one terrific writer... this coming from an old writing teacher!!! I give you the only A+ I have ever given:-) Pam H.
Rob, Fabulous progress - we will be anxious to see that "buff guy" in Chautauqua next summer!! Keep up the good work! Mary and Steve
“Scrotal symmetry.” 😂🤣😂 (also, way to go bladder/bowels!)
So many friends near and far thinking as a collective about your balls... 🤔 Love from all the Mellens who look forward to seeing you back in Virginia. Big hugs to Nancy. Tell her Jane & I are planning a girls night out upon your return. I’m sure Amory has different ideas about getting together. Meanwhile thanks for keeping us updated and inspired! Miss you all.