Embarking on a journey
First the facts:
Our journey began on Monday Feb 23rd, when Becca found a lump in her right breast.
The next day, we saw a family practice doctor in Becca's care group at Group Health Cooperative, who said that she thought it likely that the lump wasn't something to worry about, but that Becca should have it tested with a mammogram and ultrasound. So we made an appointment for Thursday, March 5th at GHC's Hatchery Hill Clinic, where Dr. Propeck (the radiologist) told us that she was worried about the lump and would be very surprised if it wasn't cancer. The ultrasound and radiology found two additional suspect areas on the left breast, one that she was quite concerned about, the other less so. The ultrasound of the lymph nodes looked fine.
The next day (Friday, March 6th), the doctors at UW Health's Breast Center at 1 S Park did biopsies of the three areas of concern. And today (Tuesday March 10th) we received the results of the pathology report - invasive ductile carcinoma in both breasts (the area of less concern on the left breast was not cancer).
We are seeing Dr. Lee Wilke at the Breast Center at UW Hospital next Tuesday (March 17th), but the care navigator who gave us the results was hoping to talk to Dr. Wilke today to see if she wanted to order any tests before we saw her (particularly genetic testing, since Becca is of Ashkenazic Jewish descent, which increases the likelihood that she has a gene which can make women more susceptible to breast and ovarian cancer). We should hear about that tomorrow. And there are some more pathology reports we expect at the end of the week.
We've heard that it will take a couple weeks to come up with a treatment plan, given the additional diagnostics and some preference-based choices.
Now the emotions:
We were quite shocked and upset Thursday night, especially given the initial positive outlook from the first doctor and the lack of breast or other cancer in Becca's family history. We've been all over the map since then. The weekend was spent recovering from the fairly invasive biopsies, talking to family and friends, and doing some initial research on surgeons, etc. (We have an amazing social network -- within 2 hours of asking 3 or 4 people for advice, we had multiple recommendations, most of them for Dr. Wilke). Now we're working on planning, renegotiating commitments for the coming months, and the like. We have gotten amazing emotional and spiritual support from a few folks already, and have been able to start opening up to what there is to learn from this undesired adventure. We know so many of you are already sending us well-wishes, and hope this site will help us all keep in touch, and help you all remember that you are connected to each other as well as to us.
Comments (34)
Dear Becca & Don, I'm so sorry. I will hold you in my thoughts and I hope for a safe and curative path as you go forward. I will wait to hear if there are things we can do for you. Much love. Bonnie & Jim
So sorry for the news. So easy to jump to conclusions. So willing to watch and allow whatever opens up to reveal itself. So easy to say from afar. I send my love to you both. I know you will let me know if there's anything I can provide. Thank you for this site where we all can connect and ruminate and love together. Linda
Holding you (both) in my heart.
Dear Becca and Don, We are thinking of you and holding you both in our thoughts and prayers. Very appreciative of your openness and allowing us to be part of the journey. We are here. With love, Lisa & Harry
Becca and Don-- Thank you so much for sharing this site. We love you and are thinking of you very often. Know that we're holding you from afar. Sarah and Marc
Becca, as my other post said, we are thinking of you and holding you in a healing embrace, and Don too. Let me know if you want us to step in for the gathering a week from Friday. In the meanwhile keep hope as your ally and courage as its partner. And ask for whatever you need. Betty
Dear Becca and Don, I am sorry to hear about Becca's diagnosis. I will be thinking of you as you go through this journey together. Thank you for sharing your lives during this difficult time. Warmly, Anne
Dear Becca and Don, So glad you found this site to keep us all in touch with you and each other. We are here for whatever you need, whenever you need it. And also whatever you don't need but might want or enjoy if we can offer it! ;-) You are in our thoughts and prayers. Love, Naomi & Dan
Heart filled with love for you both. Eyes filled with tears. I will do my part to stand with you through this journey. Love always, Ellen
Not knowing where you are going and what you have to do to beat this is the hardest part...once you set a course you will get stronger in order to beat this thing! Love,Diane
Becca and Don, I am so sorry to hear about this diagnosis. Bummer. And I know you will turn into it - to life as it is- and walk with wisdom and grace (which includes falling apart:)) Let me know if there is anything I can do beyond sending love and prayers which I am and will continue to do. A big long hug to each of you. Judith
Dear Becca and Don: Thank you for including me in your network. You're definitely doing the right thing by reaching out so we can all share your journey with this challenge. Know that you can call on me for what's needed even if it's just for you to talk and me to listen. xxKaren
Becca and Don, We are holding both of you very close in our hearts as you face this challenge. Becca, we are sending you our best energies. Please know that we are with you on your journey. All our love, Susan and Richie
Dear Becca and Don, Thank you for including me in your circle. I will continue to pray for and with you as you go through treatment. All my love, Bobbie
Becca and Don, My heart goes out to both of you. I will be thinking of you with love as this journey progresses.
Dear Becca and Don, first of all, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this. Sounds like you caught it early which must help. Thank you very much for using Posthope to keep us informed. I'm glad your networks are fully engaged to help you with little and big things. When Deborah was sick, one of the best things someone did for us was to change a lightbulb in our attic that was too high up for Mark to reach! A little thing but important to us. Ask for what you need. That'll make it easier for your friends to participate and help. I carry your heart in mine. Much love, Joan and Mark
We are sending a steady stream of love to you...every day when we're home we have a candle burning sending out light to all in need. You guys are in the circle. So much love....
I'm sad to hear this news. I want you both to have vibrant good health so you can enjoy life and keep pursuing your callings; you contribute so much to the world! And right now, it seems you are being called on this very unwelcome journey. Thank you for including me in your circle of support. I see that you have worked hard to create this amazing social network. I celebrate that love that flows through this network, the support, the wisdom, the insights, the resources that are in you and around you as you take one next step at a time, sometimes pausing to breathe and be, sometimes moving slowly, sometimes quickly. May you be well. May you find the space you need to be present to whatever needs your attention. Holding you in my heart, praying, chanting for you. sending love and light across the planet to you, dear Becca and Don!
Dear Becca and Don, I can't even try to express my feelings in words, and am helpless right now to express them in actions. I love you and will be available at all times to talk. I'm relieved to be retiring in June so that I can spend as much time with you as possible. I'm sure Beth will send her own message later today but love and hope comes to you from both of us now. D. & B.
We were very sorry to hear about Becca`s dx. Alway try to keep hope front and center. Call us if you need ANYTHING.
Dear Becca and Don, Much love and sorrow and many hugs for you both. We will be with you every step of the way. Let us know how to help. B & D
Dear Becca and Don, So shocking this news. May you have all the love and support and care you need as move through this journey. My heart is with you both. Much love, much metta. Jane
I'm so very sorry to hear this news. We will be keeping you in our hearts and prayers. love, Alyssa, Joyce, and Sam
Becca, You will be in my thoughts in the days ahead. I hope that I can help you and Don on this journey. I will be in touch. Sending positive energy your way. Crystel
Becca, I write this with tears in my eyes and hope and prayers from my heart. While we have only known each other for a short time, as I have said in the past, you are a most unique, strong, sensitive and special person. As I am sure others will say, if there is anything I can do, just call on me. Having gone through numerous difficult procedures as a result of the accident while at UW I can only say how glad I was to have the system here in our backyard. If, per chance, you need to be in the hospital for any length and you need someone to spell whoever is sitting with you, please let me know. It would be an honor to be your “sitter.” If, on the other hand, you can do everything outside the hospital then I look forward to seeing you soon at a meeting and just giving you a hug. I cannot think of a stronger person to have to deal with something like this and I am positive that this will be one more hurdle in life and you will emerge on the other side as a stronger more dedicated individual. Thank you for sharing in this manner as this truly shows just how strong and wonderful you are. All my blessings and just maybe those Dragon Bones were a timely gift. Be well young lady. And to Don, while I do not know you I am sure you will be her strength and protector. With Love, David Wandel
Becca, You are in my thoughts. Sending wishes of wellness to you and your family. Dani
Sending both of you healing love.
Dear Becca: Thank you so much for sharing your journey. What a shock it is to read your words. Please know that I am sending you both, as well as your extended families, my very best wishes and will hold you in my thoughts an prayers as the journey moves forward. I know that positive thoughts matter and that should serve you well, as you certainly have a large, committed support network. hugs and lots of love coming your way. Jean
I'm so sorry to hear this sad news. But I'm glad that you are doing everything you can to take charge of the situation, and to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Dear Becca and Don, As so many have said, thank you for including us in this journey of yours. My heart is with you and sending love and metta and ease of heart and mind to both of you as you navigate the waters. with tenderness, Kate
Dear Becca and Don, I will add my love and good energies to the powerful energy of all who love you and care about you. May you have a רפואה שלמה (full recovery) and may your journey be gentle with lots of healing love. I would be honored to help in any way needed/ wanted. Love you both, Bilha
Don and Becca, You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Along with everyone else I am sending my energy and love. Thank you for sharing with us.
Dear Becca and Don, As sorry as I am to hear this news, I must tell you that I have numerous friends who are long term breast cancer survivors! I am hopeful and encouraged by the fact that you have such a good medical team, and that you are a positive and forward looking person. So we will pray for you and your family and that everything you do will be for your benefit, and ultimately you will be able to put this behind you. In the meantime, please tell me your Hebrew name, as Raulf and I would like to include you in the refuah shleimah prayers at our shabbat services. love to you and your family. Sharon and Raulf
Becca and Don, There are no words. May the love that surrounds you also light your way. You will be in my thoughts and my heart. A friend was diagnosed with breast cancer one year ago. Dr Wilke was her surgeon. She has the highest praises for Wilke and would be happy to call and talk with you if you want. She also said Gilda's Club is a great source of info for how to prepare for surgery (what lotions to buy for itchies, etc.) She wished she'd had this info before her surgery so she would have been more comfortable. Here is the contact info for Dr Wilke Lee Gravatt Wilke, MD FACS Professor of Surgery Director, University of Wisconsin Breast Center UW Health/UW School of Medicine and Public Health H4/722 CSC 600 Highland Ave. Madison, WI 53792-7375 Office: (608) 265-5852 Fax: (608) 263-7652 email: [email protected] Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Barbara