Don's report

I love visiting this site and seeing that beautiful picture of Becca!

I've had a bit of a rough week so far. As some of you know, for the last two plus years I've had an undiagnosed intermittent pain and fatigue condition that is lessened by anti-inflammatories I take daily, but still occasionally flares up - particularly when I am under stress physically or emotionally. No surprise then that it flared up this week.

Monday I was too exhausted to do much. I felt better Tuesday, and was able to be fully present accompanying Becca to chemo, and supporting her that evening and night, during her difficulties with nausea and malaise (albeit with some mild pain in my own shoulders, arms and hands), but exhausted myself a bit. So, though my symptoms are better, I'm taking it easy today - including getting out for a long walk. 

One highlight for me from last night was reading to Becca from Pema Chodron's book Starting Where You Are. Ani Chodron has an amazing ability (like my root teacher Thich Nhat Hanh) to take complex teachings and express them simply. The teachings in this book emphasize compassion and the practice of sending and taking (usually called by its Tibetan name, tonglen). Tonglen is a practice of being fully present to the suffering in your own life, with an awareness that your suffering is just a piece of the immensity of human suffering, and allowing your heart to feel the compassion and love for yourself and all the others in similar situations. 

A student of Thich Nhat Hanh's who is living with ALS recently told the following story in an email that captures this:

Last year I had the great fortune of having a visit at home from one of the high monks in the Tibetan Gelug tradition, Geshe Thupten Phelgye. I asked him how one should prepare to die. He responded by telling me the story of his recovery from very serious liver disease and said that what had helped him the most was giving himself totally to the metta practice of taking and sending (tonglen). It helped him see his personal suffering as a drop in the sea of all suffering, knowing that all living beings, from the smallest microbe to the greatest bodhisattvas and gods of the Tibetan tradition, are seeking well-being. He kept saying, "Suffering is infinite; I am just one!" His parting word for me was "Practice compassion!"

I'm doing my best to take that to heart.