mental cut-and-paste
Last night I had a little trouble sleeping -- my cough from my cold kept waking me up every few hours, and I would have trouble falling back asleep. I realized I was feeling anxious about the upcoming chemo treatment when I found myself mentally packing for the trip to the clinic -- organic popsicles, snack food, etc... Part-way through the night -- I think I was more asleep than awake -- I found myself dreaming or imagining I was editing a word-processing document; I had two files open, and whenever something I thought belonged in the "don't need to worry about this yet" category came up, I would mentally "cut and paste" it from the main, single-paged document I was focusing on, into another, long and rambling file of things to worry about later. This actually was helping me get back to sleep, I think! Not bad for semi-consciousness, eh?
I decided I was well enough for a work meeting this morning, which was good (plus I got to show off my new look to more folks). Then I did some grocery shopping, took a nap, and worked out with my fitness trainer (feeling strong again, for the moment!)
Then, this evening, I went to my first Gilda's Club event -- a monthly breast cancer support group. It was fascinating to hear other women's stories; there's a lot of diversity in treatment trajectory depending on the type and stage of the cancer and women's choices. I definitely learned a lot, though I quickly "cut & pasted" a lot of it into that auxiliary mental document, since a lot of it may never apply to me. I did get some immediate reassurance about having a cold during chemo (no big deal, but wear a mask to protect other chemo patients). And, I told the group about my cut & paste image and they loved it; dealing with what's immediately in front of us seemed to be a common theme. (The group leader even said she was going to use it in future groups! Just remember you heard it here first).
Comments (9)
I love the cut-and-paste image, too. I hope it helps you sleep tonight, too. Thinking of you tomorrow.
yes,love the image and am grateful for the mysteries and wisdom that can come through dream, images, metaphor, etc. I used to work for Gilda's Club, co-facilitating groups such as you describe. I'm glad to hear you are finding it helpful!
Thinking of you today and always...but especially today. You have to be very brave to go through this and you are exemplifying bravery and emanating courage. You are leading this dance with amazing choreography...every single person who is in your circle is with you today and always, but especially on chemo days...just close your eyes when you need to and feel our loving arms around you....so much love! and all for you!!!!
I've finally caught up with 21st century and re-found your blog Becca! Have you tried fennel for your nausea? It is something I've used since extreme nausea with pregnancy and really helps me comes in tincture form at WSA. I think docs often do not know of alternative options to their meds. L love the cut and paste -we can all learn from this in our lives full of so many wondrous (and not wondrous) things. Even more love the do! -I'll have to show my daughter ! Much care today (and always), Ann
So again, you teach a skill most of us need to learn. Thank you. May the treatment go well. See you tomorrow.
I'm appreciating your entries. You look great in your new "do'! Holding you close in my heart. Bev
Becca, Best of luck with the chemo. Looking forward to seeing your new fashion statement! Bruce
So glad you like your Gilda's Club group. Last night at my Cancer support Community support group we talked a lot about anxiety and sleep. The Cancer Support Community in Redondo Beach has kept me sane. One thing a friend did was post a poster of Mt Everest and after each chemo treatment she visualized being closer to the summit and the beauty she would experience there.
I just heard this news and read through your inspiring journal. Am sending you love and prayers and wishing you the best on your journey to health.