not feeling like super woman
Well the transfusion definitely helped. I went from needing a wheelchair on Tuesday morning to get from the car to the far side of the clinic, to being able to walk out on my own later that afternoon. And from barely being able to go up a flight of stairs without passing out, to being able to do some gentle workouts (including trying out a new fitness trainer, who was great, and a short swim in the lake) the last two days. I do not, however, feel like super woman, as one friend suggested I would! I think my hemoglobin is still low compared to what is "normal" for me (before the chemo started in March it was 14, and it was down to 7.9 the morning of the transfusion). I'm still feeling like I have to rest a lot, conserve my "spoons," and choose how I spend the ones I've got. And I am still managing other minor symptoms and side effects from the various treatments.
A deep thank-you to everyone who donates blood, and to all the work the medical community has done over the years to make this process safer and safer! And for the continued influx of wonderful, healthy meals!!
This process has been teaching me not to try to predict the future, and I have generally made it a practice not to write in this blog about anything I am planning to do; rather, I try to focus on reporting the recent past or how I'm perceiving the present, or perhaps my decision-making process about the future. However, I will make two exceptions today:
1) I'm looking forward to a joint visit from my Dad who arrives today from Nashville, and my brother Ari who arrives tomorrow from California; they plan to stay 'til next Thursday.
2) I'm hoping to have enough "spoons" next Friday for the Muslim Solidarity events I'm helping organize. For folks in Madison, here are links to the two related events, Hijab Solidarity Day and the 2nd Annual Community Iftar Celebration (Ramadan Break Fast). In these days following the recent horrific hate crime in South Carolina, this seems even more important to me.
Comments (10)
So happy to hear family lovies are en route, dear Becca. My best MooMoo juju continues to sprinkle down upon and enfold you!
Sometimes slowing down helps us be more in the moment. xxKaren
Dear Becca, holding you in my thoughts and practice. May the visits offer support of a non-medical nature. Laura
I haven't donated blood in a long time, so Becca, in your honor I am going next week! You are inspiring us all in so many ways. I have low blood pressure so they kinda have to squeeze it out of me. I have a relatively rare type; A-. Indeed, the system blood donating makes it so safe and easy. Sending you hugs and energy.
Appreciate your focus on today. I'll join you on 26th insha allah.
Yes, it must be challenging. It's impossible, and probably even undesirable, to give up making plans. It is, after all, the future that you are going through all this for. Your circumstances do, however, make uncertainty a much larger part of the statistical equation. It's interesting to ponder the Depression/WWII generation (I'm doing a historical research project and it's on my brain), where admonitions like "always wear clean underwear in case you have to go to the hospital," and their recognition of uncertainty, were woven into the culture. That culture was replete with even pleasant uncertainties, like neighbors just dropping by--when I was growing up you never knew when a neighbor would just knock and walk in. That was also the culture of "saving," partly because of the uncertainty and partly because of planning for the future. It was a unique blend of optimism and pessimism. So make those plans! And wear clean underwear! :-)
Hi Becca, I think of you often, and am glad you are journaling and sharing. It means a great deal to me and adds much to my every day. with much love, Debbie Stahl
Hey Laura, I haven't donated blood myself in years, also due to low blood pressure (I used to nearly pass out when I did it, and would need to go home and sleep the rest of the day) so please don't feel any pressure!! Not sure if I will try to donate again myself one day... will see!
Becca, I love the concept of 'spoons.' We all have to decide how to allocate our time, energy, and focus. It helps to think of this allocation in spoons. Your postings share love and positivity to all of us who read them. Thank you. Please keep tabs on your energy and make sure that you rest when your body and mind tell you to. Love, Sharon
Becca, I've been following your posts and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Glad the transfusion helped. Hope you continue to gain strength and am sure upcoming family visit will contribute to that. Wonderful to hear about the solidarity events.