More on Dad and Decision
Two follow-ups from my last post:
1) My dad did have several comments to offer on the post. Here is my summary of them: One, that many decisions are neither rational nor irrational, but are merely preferences; something is only irrational if it conflicts with achieving a goal that one holds. (So his preference not to eat tilapia may not be rational, but it is not irrational either. BTW, they were his research subjects in 1963). Two, that he doesn't have any problem with spirituality in general, but he does take issue with 1) mind-body dualism that posits some pure essence that is separable from the body, and 2) with belief in what authorities say when they assert something that is not easy to verify.
2) Eloiza asked a “burning question” she’s always wondered about: “why would a woman choose to forego reconstruction? Are there alot of additional cancer risks or is it more of a philosophy preference?” Here's my answer: Reconstruction doesn't increase the risks of cancer recurrence as far as I know. Depending on the type of reconstruction a person is eligible for (there are at least 3 different types; I am told I’m only eligible for one of them based on body size and athleticism), it can be a lot of additional discomfort and a series of extra surgical procedures, and/or scarring/disfigurement/disabling of parts of the body. The resulting breasts are cosmetic only -- i.e. they do not have nipple sensation and in many cases don't even have much or any skin sensation. Some women do not have medical coverage for the surgery also. I'm sure there are plenty of valid reasons women choose reconstruction if they can despite these downsides. Personally, I'd rather wear temporary/removable prostheses when I want to look like I have breasts than go through the extra surgeries, procedures, and discomfort. Also, I'm told I can always do reconstruction later if I change my mind. There's a good website, BreastFree, that includes a lot of information and women's stories about not reconstructing, in case anyone is currently working on this decision.
Comments (6)
Thanks for these updates to your last post - both posts have lots of food for thought. I'm happy you have an amazing collective Brain Trust to help with decision-making!
I love learning about this interesting group of people who are dear to you and the depth of thought and feeling each shares. Now I wonder what your father learned about Tilapia!? The decision to reconstruct is profoundly complex and individual. In the 80's, I was responsible for implementing the Breast Cancer and Breast Implant laws of Maryland and listened to many women speak of their decisions and the outcome of those decisions. For some, reconstruction, with its attendant discomfort (and it could considerable) and additional surgical risks was worth it, for many others it was not. I'm so glad you made a thoughtful decision that will keep you from further surgery. Hugs, Sonia
Thank you so much for answering my question. This is very helpful to understand. Especially since I have no other context. Much appreciated.
Thanks Becca! Now it's easier to understand why my sister choose not to go through breast reconstruction surgery/surgeries. i continually pray one day you will be totally cancer free, as my sister now has been for ten years.
So, I can't help but wonder what your father ate since I had prepared tilapia for your dinner that night. Oh, well, I did ask about preferences before hand. Whoda thunk? I imagine that this discussion came about partially because of Friday night's dinner. I'll stop by for the containers sometime tomorrow after lunch. I hope you and Don enjoyed it at least!
Again, thank you for sharing your self and your journey so deeply and openly, and letting us come with you, especially what is so deeply personal. You are a blessing and delight. Grace and peace be with you through all the decidings.