R.I.P. Irwin Katz, Aug. 7th, 1919-Sept. 9, 2015
Don's dad died today around 3:30 Eastern time. Yesterday morning Don's sister Nancy called from Indianapolis to say that the hospice nurse had come and agreed with Nancy's assessment that this was really the end; they said they thought it was likely he would go within a day or two. Don had been planning to wait until Wednesday (today) to drive down, to give himself a little more time to feel sure I'd be okay without him, and to recover from the intensity of my surgery and first days of recovery; but when he got the call he packed up and drove down. He arrived yesterday evening, and was able to spend much of the night last night with Irv, singing to him and chanting and meditating and holding his hand and massaging his feet.
Irv's last 24 hours or so were peaceful, a blessed relief from several weeks of, in the words of Dylan Thomas, not going "gentle into that good night". When we were there for a week last month, my father-in-law seemed very much to be raging "against the dying of the light," and his agitation had if anything intensified in the past couple of weeks. While I'd love to be able to say it was Don's arrival and amazing singing voice that calmed him down, in truth it was morphine and lorazepam. Better living (and dying?) through chemistry.
Irv was a man of deep integrity and enormous generosity. A "self-made" man who knew his fortune was built upon the shoulders of his family, his community, and good government, he spent much of his life giving back. He was the only one of his siblings his family could afford to send to college, even though it was the free City College of New York; the cost of books, train fare, and not working were sufficient that they chose the one they deemed brightest and sent him. When he became financially successful, he knew it was not just his own achievement. An active Democrat and philanthropist, he refused to spend money on himself most of the time, and happily took on the responsibility of paying the tuition for all of his nieces and nephews, and their children's college and graduate / professional schools. All of the philanthropic work Don and I do, and much of our caring for the world, are made possible by Irv's generosity. I hope that, unlike the good men of Thomas' poem, Irv knew that his were in no way "frail deeds."
Comments (45)
What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful man and a life well lived. I am so glad that the end was peaceful and that Don was with him. May his memory be a blessing. Sending love.
Thank you, Becca. So, so glad that Don could be with his father at the end. And that you, in turn, could support him with such generosity & love & understanding. What an amazing time to be alive. Such huge transitions all around. May peace prevail.
I'm sorry you couldn't be with Don, but I'm so glad that Don was there. Would that everyone had chanters and loving family round them at this time! My best to you all!
It is wonderful that you could be with him when he died, Don. It's such a privilege to help someone be born or help them through dying. May his memory be a blessing.
Thank you Becca. Thank you Don. Thank you Irv. For bringing light into our lives.
There may be no either/or. It may be that both the drugs and Don's kind attention made for a peaceful transition. I wish I had known this great man during all the years I spent in indianapolis. I know him now through your important words. As you and Don continue to live, so does he. My thanks and sympathies.
Thank you for this inspiring and intimate look into the interrelationships around you, Don, and his father. i am so happy that Don could be so present for his father at the end of his life. I'm certain it made a difference to them both. And best to you, Dear Becca, for your brave and open heart. SS
Becca and Don, shared sorrow.....beautiful, loving tribute from you to him. I still remember Don's words at Philanthropy Day when you were honored. Irwin passed you a torch he lit from the passion of his heart, and those of us who know all your good works, also know it burns bright in your shared hands with all the fire from your own hearts. Be well.
I join all of the other wonderful commentators in being glad that Don could be there with his dad and in appreciating your beautiful eulogy of his dad. What a fine, generous soul he was! And, Becca, how are you doing with not being there? Will you be able to join Don there soon or not? I understand that you might have good support here for your needs, but how difficult to be away from one another as you each are remembering his Dad. I will continue to think of you both and of Irv as his legacy lives on in you, Don, Nancy, and Margot....and so many others who he has touched.
Sending much love to Don, you, and all the many family and friends who are grieving Irv's passing. Thinking of you all.
You both will be in our thoughts and prayers. Hiam
Sending you and Don my deepest sympathy. Uncle Irv was an amazing man. May he rest in peace and always be remembered for the generosity you so wonderfully describe. Also hoping you are feeling better. Love Diane
Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute. I continue to appreciate your presence with everything in your lives at the moment - and your transparency and honesty in sharing it all. Sending you both love, as well towards your extended families and friends.
May he rest in peace, and may his memory be a blessing for all of you.
Don is truly an amazing caregiver! How good and wonderful that he was able to be there for you during and after surgery and also at his father's side at the end. My condolences go to you two, Sam and Sarah. Thanks for writing so beautifully about what he was like and how he made Don (and you, in your shared life together) what he/you is/are.
Thank you for sending this, Becca. My thoughts and prayers go out to you both. I'm so glad Don was able to be there, I know just how much that means. Bless you both.
Beautifully said, Becca. Sending you and Don a big hug. Thinking of you.
Wishing you and Don peace and equanimity. What a great tribute to a great, generous man. Glad you and Don had his presence.
Yes - a beautiful tribute to Irv. Clearly many have gained from his generosity and the world is better for him having been here -- so sorry for your loss. Sending love and peace to you and Don.
Having now gone through this twice, my Dad and Father-in-law I just want to wish you both peace. Transitions are sometimes like the wind, they blow hot and cold, weak and strong, dusty and clear yet the always leave their mark. So to it is with those we love.
Dear Don and Becca, what an intense period you are going through...my heartfelt condolences to you on the passing of your dear dad. What a beautiful eulogy...may the new year bring healing, peace of heart and peace to the world. שנה טובה.. With love and caring, Bilha
Thanks for sharing this remembrance of Don's father, I only new a bit about him. What a wonderful legacy! As always, and especially while Don is away, please ask for all you need from those of us nearby.
As everyone has said here, thank you so much for sharing this with us. Blessings to both you and Don........and everyone in the family. I'm so glad that Don could get there in time and grateful that you have support around you as well. Great winds really do carry all of us across the sky.
Dear Becca and Don, I am grateful that the two of you could be together during and after your surgery Becca, and that Don had the supreme opportunity to be with his Dad during the time of his passing. It is so amazing to me that these two events dovetailed in this way. I hope you find comfort in the graceful way things unfolded. I am grateful too, to Irv, who passed on a legacy of giving, human decency and wisdom to you. We all benefit and, we are all connected. Thinking of you with love and affection. Gerri
A sweet tribute we can all reflect on. Thank you Becca and hugs to you and Don as you both transition over time from grief to warm memories.
Sending lots of love and Metta to you and Don during these challenging times.
May you both have space, in the spirit of your remembrance, to mourn Irwin Katz' passing and celebrate his life.
So sorry for your loss. May Don's father's memory be a blessing to his family and all who were touched by him.
My heart goes out to you, Don, and the rest of your family.
I'm sorry to hear about Don's father's passing, but glad that Don was able to be with him and see his father peaceful. May his memory be a blessing and inspiration.
Becca, I have only realized what you've been going through today, after reading about Don's dad's passing. I send you my prayers and blessings for a speedy and complete healing. It sounds like your support system of friends and family have been a great comfort for you. I wish you well. Blessings with love to you. T'filla
Becca, a beautiful tribute, indeed. So very sorry for your and Don's loss. Eric
Becca and Don, I am thinking of you and sending you love. I am sorry for you loss. Don, your father was a great man.
What a beautiful beginning to Irv's journey to the next life - to be surrounded by family & love. Reminds me of what someone offered on the passing of my grandfather earlier this year: Celebrate all the love you've given & received, the many people you've shared it with, knowing you are a miracle, & that this life, with all its crazy twists & turns, is miraculous & that your love matters in this world. Keep giving. Keep living. And most definitely, keep loving. Namaste.
Dear Don and Becca, May the beautiful light of Irv's spirit shower love upon you and your family members. And may he always be remembered for the gifts he brought to the world. Thank you for sharing his amazing life story with us. Love, Jessalyn
My thoughts are with you, Don and family. I shall recognise the sacred space tomorrow, as I work at the desk he donated to our office. May God Bless you and keep you under the shadow of His wing.
Such a beautiful tribute, Becca. Many blessings to you and Don and your family members in this time of transition.
Don and Becca, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a lovely, lovely tribute and moving example of someone who knew about civic responsibility, understanding his success was due to others' sacrifice and support. You are fortunate to have such family!
Clearly Irv's big and loving heart continues in both of you. It gives me so much hope to see how beautiful seeds of compassion can bloom in the next generation when we deeply care for one another. Sending you both a three breathe hug and smile, Lorri
Dear Don & Becca, I'm sorry to learn of Irv's death and wish I'd been able to know him. He sounds like a truly beautiful being, tho' we already know that from knowing his beautiful son. September 9th is an auspicious day since it's both my dad and my son's birthday, so I'll honor Irv's memory in the years to come on this day. My heartfelt sympathy to the whole family, Leslie
My Uncle Irv was a very special man. I was saddened to learn of his passing...and will keep my fond memories of both Irv and your Ann in my heart.
Dear Don and Becca, Sending love and support to both of you during this time of profound transitions. I only met Irv briefly at your wedding, but have benefited from his wisdom and generosity as reflected in the two of you. Don, I'm so sorry for your loss. Becca, I send healing energy as you recover from your surgery. Lisa
Thank you for this up-date Becca. My heart goes out to Don and his immediate family, Sam and Sara and you. I feel touched by the sharing you provided regarding Irv Katz and his life and generosity. I see this in his beautiful son. I am just out of an 8-day silent retreat in Kansas City, as a result of someone's generosity. Oh my, dear Katz and Kranz family, be very gentle with yourselves. You have been experiencing so very much at one time and multiple times. May you feel nourished, connected and with deep peace. With tenderness, Jill
Thank you, dear Becca, for this beautiful tribute to Don's Dad. As others have so eloquently said, we know him, and he continues so beautifully, through you both, and his generosity flows with such caring abundance through you. Dear Don and Becca, we wish you and your family gentleness, deep peace, and healing in the New Year, and we send much love.
My heartfelt sympathy to you both, Don and Becca. Hugs & love.