Getting comfortable

I remember learning once that it’s new experiences that make time feel longer and routine that makes time fly by. This is why childhood summers felt like they lasted forever and five years in a job feels so short. It’s this principle that must be why we have to keep reminding ourselves that we’ve only been home for two weeks and not two months. We have new skills to hone, new relationships to foster, and new routines to install. 

As far as skills, I find myself praying for creativity a lot and I’m grateful when the Lord gives me a new idea for how to make something happen or get something done. I had a Wonder Woman moment this week when I set out for a walk with both girls AND the dog. Kira recently mastered riding a bike AND stopping, so that opened up a whole new set of options for us. With the stroller in one hand, the leash in the other, snacks for Evelyn, and water for all, we make our way around the neighborhood loop each morning. If you knew the strength of both body and spirit of my 75-pound hound that knows where the gopher holes are, you would feel the great accomplishment of this activity with me. 

Relationally, Evelyn continues to bond well with all of us. At the moment she is asleep again on my chest, much like a baby koala, after waking up too early from her nap. It must be comfy because I’ve been sitting here for an hour and every moment regretting not getting a cushioned rocking chair and sticking with the easy-to-move wooden one. We have worked hard for this though, and I am so grateful that Evelyn finally feels some peace and comfort with me. Whenever Evelyn wakes up too early and I’m on nap duty, Kira quickly grabs a doll and joins me in Evelyn’s room to rock her baby doll in the kid size rocker. It must have been very relaxing because she then laid down on the air mattress and has been sound asleep for a while now. Of all the thoughts I had about how to meet Kira’s needs while I’m needed over nap time, this was not in any of my ideas. My only regret with Kira falling asleep is that she can’t retrieve for me the iced coffee I made myself and left in the living room. We appreciate continued prayers for the relationship dynamics in every direction, but particularly for Kira and Evelyn. Sharing is hard and Evelyn has tried to test the bond of love between each of us with hitting. We explained to Kira how we know this is not right and that we will step in for her and correct Evelyn, but also tried to give Kira some understanding of where that action is coming from. She’s testing your love, we told her. In near disbelief and I’m sure I saw tears forming, Kira said, “But Mom! I love her so much!” Good to know for when she’s hip-checking Evelyn aside from the toy she wants for herself. 

It is hilariously obvious how many unique experiences Kira has had in the last month. When she plays now she regularly plays that she is boarding a plane with backpacks and baby dolls in tow.  I was interrupted many times yesterday being asked for directions to the correct gate. I often have to stop what I’m doing and scan imaginary boarding passes on her play phone and welcome her aboard. She will then tell me about her baby doll who is brand new to the family and preparing for a 15 hour flight. She tells me how she hopes that her babies sleep. So yes, she listens to everything I say and copies everything I do. It’s a little scary. 

There’s a few things Evelyn expects now each day like walks and swinging on the play set. Meal times are becoming more familiar but still chaotic. Evelyn doesn’t have prior experience of sitting up to the table for meals, nor did she ever have the opportunity to feed herself. When you’re feeding a hungry kid who doesn’t know what this table business is all about and just wants to run around and come back for bites, it turns into a two person job to keep everything else on the table out of reach, keep the child in the chair, and keep the bites coming. Kira is getting quite the show, but hardly the attention we would love to give her. Evelyn also continues to eat primarily Indian-inspired meals. We have discovered she likes shredded cheese and she went crazy for a spinach-kale pesto quinoa that I made, so I have hope that she will have good taste as her tastes diversify. The win with the pesto made this veggie-loving mama’s heart skip a beat. As does being taken by the hand to the garden to retrieve more sugar snap peas to munch on while we play. It is getting a little tiring to make two meals or to supplement our meal train meals, so we hope Evelyn will start feeling more adventurous soon. 

We will continue to stick around home a lot for a while, as everything about a home and family will take time for Evelyn to feel secure and comfortable with. It’s probably for your good too, as we eliminate lice and GI-related parasites. (We expected and prepared for both.) I debated mentioning this but I decided to say it because it seems every mom who has ever had a lice experience only says so months after the ordeal. We eliminated the lice before we left India and managed not to get it ourselves, so we’re in the clear. I just wanted to say if you ever have an outbreak in your home I am happy to share what elimination methods we have used and I will come comb your child’s hair while you do laundry! Why learn all this if I can’t help somebody else through it??

When we do begin to venture back out into  the world and our regular stops I just want to remind you of a couple points for interacting with Evelyn. She will stay with us and we won’t pass her to you to hold her. If she reaches for you, you could just point her back to mom and dad. David and I should be the only ones to feed and console her. If you have even a cracker, pass it to me or Dave first. Same for anything like a gift or anything you want to give to Evelyn. It should all go through me or David for the time being. There’s lot of reasons for all this but this post is getting too long to rehash all of them. 

Life will have a lot of the same things each day for a while and I don’t know what will be interesting to share. For Kira we knew she needed a lot of medical exams in the first few months which led to spinal cord surgery just eight months after we got home, so we kept updating based on that. Evelyn had identified medical needs originally but later was found to be negative for these needs and at pick-up was considered a healthy child with no medical needs. It’s a miracle she’s in our family because technically all “healthy” children are adopted in-country. We are grateful that at no point we were unmatched with her! That being said, we don’t expect to have considerable medical updates like we did with Kira. We will still do the full work up and follow all recommendations from the U of M Adoption Medicine Clinic where we have an appointment in a couple weeks. 

Thanks for following along and showing so much love to our family! Are you ready to adopt now??