I’ve been feeling super down lately after stupidly signing up for a mentor program through the hospital. I was matched with a young gal who was very proud to share her Hogkins journey with me. Her experience is what I would call the worst case scenario in terms of treatment. But she is alive and several years removed from cancer and proud to share her story. So I listened in fear as this girl innocently planted scary ideas in my head. Maybe not the greatest mentor match. And then the news this week about Paul Allen really bummed me out. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. I was caught moping on the sidewalk in front of our house, bottling up all these fears in my mind when a friend stopped me and said “comparison is the thief of joy.” -Sheila G. Or some president. Doesn’t matter. In that moment, truer words couldn’t have been spoken. When I start to compare myself to other people’s stories, all of my inner strength, positive thinking and hopes are all squashed. I need to stay focused on what I have fought so hard for and remember my hopes for the future. I am the strongest I have ever been or even thought was possible.
Heading into my appointment today I was filled with overwhelming worry and fear to discuss my scan results but repeated Sheila’s wisdom. Those stories will not be MY story. Proven today during my seventh treatment I received news that I didn’t think was possible. The scan I had on Tuesday came back CLEAN. The results of the pet showed that the cancer is gone. I no longer have cancer. I am in complete disbelief. Dr. Godwin said that after my final treatment (#8 on 11/1/18), he will monitor me closely every month or two for the first two years. This includes physical exams and blood tests that detect the markers for cancer. After the two years, they will continue to monitor me for three more years and then at five years they will call it a total victory. Five years seems like so far away. But today I feel absolutely strong and victorious. I really am just speechless. I took my chemo today with no hesitations.
I had to see the scan to believe it. You’ll notice the black dots (tumors) all over my neck on the scan from July. And on the left, they are ALL GONE! Disregard all my other body parts.
Filled with an indescribable happiness. ❤️
I am so looking forward to going home and taking a long and well deserved nap.
I TOTALLY DID IT!!