Thought I was done? Nope, not yet.

I never updated after my reconstruction surgery. Probably because I was doing so well and didn’t feel like dwelling on illness. My one drain was out within about a week. I resumed working from home on week 3 (rather, I tried but was thwarted by appointments and snow days). By week 4, I was in the office and went for a run!  This last week, I was tempted to bike to work but held off to be safe. Still, I ran a couple mornings and went to the gym one morning. I was all set to resume my bike commute this week!

Unfortunately, my body, once again, rebelled. More specifically, my right breast, the cancer boob. We were at the boys’ Odyssey of the Mind competition yesterday when I literally bursted at the seams!  Prior to yesterday, I thought my incisions were fully healed. However, my 8 year old’s Odyssey team (coached by my husband) was about to go on and I suddenly felt my shirt drenched with fluid. When I was able to check out what was happening, I discovered a roughly 2 inch opening in the incision. 😭

The good part of this is that my doctor is awesome and I had her cell number. I was able to text her right away.  For the first time in my life, I sent a picture of my boob via text 😂🤣. Out of concern for a possible infection, she arranged for surgery this morning to check things out and to swap the implant. Another fortunate detail was that my mother-in-law was in town and able to watch the boys and everything went very smoothly. At least from my perspective - from husband’s perspective it was a bit more overwhelming. He had been counting down the days until Odyssey was finished so he could catch up on work and cycling. 

Why did this happen?  Was it the tantrum I wrestled through with my 6 year old not long before the drenched shirt?  Was it when I demonstrated a burpee for a 9 year old on the Odyssey team?  Was it my attempt to resume a regular running and lifting routine this week?  While that probably didn’t help, my doctor thinks it was largely due to my radiation damaged skin. However I will now be on much more strict activity limitations. 😭😭😭😭 This does not bode well for my late-April 10 miler. 

For the most part, this was like my least complicated other surgeries. One incision, just swapping out a device and one drain. Except that this time I got a Prevena Incision Management System!  What is that you ask?  Honestly, I don’t know anything more that you would learn from a quick google and I’m too tired to try to explain it.  It is negative pressure wound therapy.  I plan to read more about it tomorrow.  But it’s a tube and a small Walkman-like device that makes noise and means I’ll be taking sponge baths for a while  🤷🏻‍♀️

In conclusion, this sucks. I finally started to believe I was done. Our calendar is overwhelming but I was hopeful because I felt like I could pull my own weight finally at home and work. I don’t think I’ve been this angry and sad since my initial diagnosis. I was on track to get my fitness back and be a productive part of society. I still had frequent hot flashes and a lot of muscle and joint pain from my aromatase inhibitors, but I was tackling that with strength training, supplements, massage and my new standing desk at work.  Now I’m back in bed, taking Percocet, with another drain. Plus, I hear it was warm and glorious outside today. And we had to postpone Henry’s birthday activity today. 

I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m tired. But I am okay. It’s really just a delay. I have already received so many offers for help and I’m incredibly grateful. Husband doesn’t accept help easily but I will try to take some of you up in your offers. Probably the most useful help will be with the kids if anyone wants to get them from school to feed and entertain them one day. I’ll ask husband if he’ll accept food but he says he stocked up last night. Thank you all so much for your prayers and help ❤️