4.1.2015

On April fool's day, Natalia said..."Mom, last year I was going home." At first, I didn't understand what she meant, then it dawned on me. Last year, after a month-long stay at the hospital...because of a second degree radiation burn, with an ng tube down her nose, and a bacteria she picked up at the hospital, we got to go home on April first! The memories are still resonating in our lives a year later!! This year on April first, our family received sorrowing news....involuntary tears streamed down our cheeks all day.......as we digested all of the news. Our surgeon informed us that in order to save Natalia's leg, we had to go into another surgery. He referred her to an orthopedic surgeon out of Boston Children's Hospital for a consult.......PRONTO. The surgery they are looking at doing is very complicated and long. It involves a vascularized bone graft from her fibula and inserting that into the space that hasn't grown, bringing in fresh blood with a vascular vessel from her lower leg. Amazing! God BLESS these doctors! Hopefully this will stimulate bone growth to the area that has died and hasn't grown, thanks to all of the radiation. This surgery will diminish the need for additional surgeries, as well. Although she is still cancer free....PRAISE JESUS! The thought of another surgery that is risky, and complicated makes my stomach turn. Most likely she will be placed in a SPICA cast all over again...be wheelchair bound, learn to walk, etc. we will be starting over. This was truly disappointing and heartbreaking. For the time being, he also asked for her to have minimal strenuous activity. We can't run the risk that her hardware will shift or loosen...so we cut down on her physical therapy. I wish I could just take her backpack FULL of pain, anesthesia, side effects, complications, surgeries, chemo, radiation, scans, long term effects, catheters, doctors, trauma and take the weight OFF our 9 year old little girl.....but I can't. Only JESUS can. Shifting our eyes OFF our very real, agonizing, and painful circumstance and remembering that Jesus is faithful to his word. Through his word, we can find STRENGTH, PEACE, COMFORT, REFUGE, and everything that we will need to get through....this scripture kept coming up ALL day.... Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Be strong, do not be afraid, do not be dismayed.....HE has commanded us. In turn, Obedience WILL bring BLESSING. 1 John 4:4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. John 16:33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have PEACE. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Natalia Sofia is the Lord's.....therefore she is an OVERCOMER! Let your will be done, Jesus! Not ours....because you know what's best for her...for us....you see the bigger picture. You have a perfect purpose and plan with our baby girl. Your fingerprints are all over this journey, you have carried us this far, we will continue to TRUST in your SOVEREIGNTY. Philippians 4:6-7, 13 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.