BECOMING A CANCER MOM..........not by choice.

Being thrown into the cancer world, without asking our family if we wanted any part of it, with no permission, to watch my baby girl fight for her life, will on many levels change everyone forever....you learn so many things along the way. In honor of our survivor, Natalia Sofia, I wanted to share on some of the things I have learned through this experience...

Your faith walk changes.....either towards or away from God. I ran to Jesus and handed my daughter over for him to do as he pleased.(one of the hardest decisions that I've ever had to do). The word of God says that his thoughts are above mine...he has BIG plans for her, and I wasn't gonna get in the way. He knew the bigger picture and the outcome......not my will, but yours Lord, I cried out. Bottom line: Let go and trust.....He knows best!

You Learn to get on your knees and wage war in prayer like you have never done before. After all, it is your baby girl....with CANCER, wouldn't you? It is literally life or death.

You Learn to allow others to bless you.....in different ways. From dinners, money, landscaping, pressure washing, cleaning my house to picking the sibling up from school because there was a complication at the hospital or I was in the emergency room with my sick daughter needing blood.

You learn to stop counting the number of transfusions your baby girl was getting. Trying to focus on the big picture that the blood products she was receiving would make her well again.

You Learn that being there for my daughter would not just physically deplete me(adrenal fatigue), but emotionally as well. Most people do not understand the heavy emotional and physical drainage that comes from enduring the stress of being a caretaker. Something as simple as walking from the sofa to the bathroom inside the hospital room, was almost impossible, let alone a long walk to the cafeteria.....your body wouldn't physically be able to stand.

You Learn that everything that surrounds you is extremely overwhelming, that even answering an overload of texts, calls, and emails is too much to handle. Things had to be put on a list...if I couldn't get to it, it was ok!

You learned to educate yourself on every drug that was going inside your baby girl's body, to advocate for your child...speaking up when I was too timid to do so before.

You get to experience first-hand the hands and feet of Jesus when your church family loves on you like you were their own......

You learn that the sibling is quietly suffering in the side lines, so deeply affected by all that surrounds their life. Openly talking things out and taking the time for quality one on one time was extremely challenging, but necessary.

You learn that there is a fine line that one must discern between
1) pulling the trigger quickly or 2) to quietly wait, observe and take note
for there are so many daily medical complexities during treatment and in the aftermath of the cancer world.

You learned that while you could not physically be in the radiation room, while she underwent her treatment, or in the procedure or operating rooms, Jesus was definitely there...not just there....He is holding her tight hand, and is giving wisdom and using the hands of all that are involved in her care......it is He who calls upon the angels to protect and guard her....I can just focus on HIM.

You Learn that you become a bit jaded when it comes to medical stuff....anything else, compared to cancer, pales in comparison....Broken bone? Cut and scrape? Strep?Asthma? Tract infection? easy peasy! We got this! No biggie. Moving on!

You Learn the real meaning of family...blood or not......

You learn that if she just wanted to pick the most unhealthy meal in the cafeteria menu, I was going to be happy that she was at least eating SOMETHING. Because of the chemo, her appetite was gone, and her taste for food changed.

You learn that the National Cancer Institute assigns 3.8% of their funds(out of 100) to childhood cancer. This scanty funding is totally unacceptable when it is your own child that has to endure the harsh, toxic chemo from 1959, 1963, 1974, 1983, & 1987. This chemotherapy was originally intended for adults, and is given to children because there have only been three new drugs for childhood cancer in the past 20 years, in contrast to 190 for adult cancers. The children usually survive the cancer, but not the treatment. These treatments usually leave life long after effects for the survivor. Before becoming a "cancer mom" I was totally clueless. Now, Raising awareness, advocating, and educating is my passion!
Because Awareness=Funding=Research=New drugs and a possible cure!

You learn that there is an aftermath long AFTER your child is in remission. Picking up the pieces after cancer has ravaged your territory is an almost impossible feat. There is a ton of rebuilding that could ONLY be done with patience, LOVE, time and GOD.

You learn that although your child is in remission, and she looks totally healthy and normal, it will NEVER really be over....and most people don't get it because she looks great! At one of her oncology follow ups, I once asked the oncologist..."so, when do I get to breathe?" She seriously answered "NEVER".

You learn that community is key to survivorship! Most people that have walked thru a cancer journey (no matter what kind of cancer it is), have gone thru the same experiences and can identify with you....or someone that's ahead in their walk can be extremely encouraging.

You Learn to hold/cherish on to what is really important in life. This life we live is but a vapor, short in the bigger spectrum....."Things" are unimportant. Shed off the layers that society imposes in our lives and you will see how freeing that is!!
(James 4:14) You don’t even know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like smoke that appears for a little while, then vanishes.

You Learn to live in the moment and cherish the precious gift of TIME. After walking very close to the line of death, and experiencing first hand what that is like, there is a deeper appreciation of all things. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS!

Putting my unwavering faith and trust in Jesus Christ. To completely depend on his goodness on a daily basis. Recognizing that no matter what the outcome, it's out of my hands and God is in total control.
There is always growth, because we are constantly learning......even thru a cancer journey.
Knowing that ALL (cancer) things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)