Early, early Wednesday morning a little after 3am. I drove bryant to the hospital.  I had to convinced him it wasn’t too far for me to drive, just 2 miles up the road to Midlands Hospital.  He was in so much pain I know when his pain level gets too high he will begin to vomit.  Vomiting leads to dehydration which then kickstarts the cycle and with a suspected kidney stone, it’s all down hill from there.  After an IV bag of fluids, a shot for pain, a CT scan, the culprit was found a 4mm kidney stone!  We got home just in time to wake up the kids for school.  Tony was already up and looked shocked to see us stroll in from the garage together!  He asked, “where’d you guys go?”  When I said the ER. His eyes looked me over for obvious signs of injury. I had to follow up with, “not for me, for your dad. He has a kidney stone.”  His response was classic, “Well, dad’s broken!” [...]

So I need to talk about personal care.  I am the caregiver in the family.  My kids described me as ‘harsh’; I on the other hand would describe myself as the mom who doesn’t let nuttin’ slide!  Do that once and I’ll give you a warning and outline the consequences of your actions, do it again and here come the consequences.  I don’t play games.  There’s a reason my niece and nephew called my husband and I, uncle Sue and aunt Bryant!  He’s been known as the ‘weakest link’.  But I digress, back to the personal care topic.  It’s hard for me to accept pampering from others, to me, my kids are special and so is my husband.  My good friend came over last week and we cried and laughed together for several hours.  A couple days later we had a ‘date’ set for a mani and pedi.  I only indulge my toes a couple times in the summer months.  I haven’t had a manicure in 30 years!!  I had so much fun!  We did lunch then moved over to a nail salon.  I got a sparkly blue gel on both hands and feet.  It looks great.  I haven’t been so pampered in forever! So here’s a big thank you to Deanna Peterson, Mentor, Master Teacher, and most of all, someone I can truly call FRIEND.[...]

So Saturday evening we hosted our annual bonfire. Just your typical Saturday in October.  I invited friends, family, church members and a couple colleagues from work.  People come and go throughout the evening, enjoying food and friends.  Last night, Bryant made arrangements with his sister who is able to cut hair and has clippers, if she would be available to cut my hair off during the bon fire.  Bry was planning on joining me in baldness!   Earlier that morning I was pulling wads of hair from my head.  Little did I know how many others were willing to jump on the bald brigade!  Several friends and family had left already and I told Bry I was ready.  He rounded up a bar stool and volunteered to be first.  Soon enough, more and more volunteers stepped forward.  That was so overwhelming to see so many others willing to share the shearing experience with me.  We all took lots of pictures to say the least and I got through the experience just a few tears shed.  That evening was truly amazing!  I received so much comfort and joy knowing, and seeing the love of those who are supporting me through this journey.[...]

Cancer robs you of your dignity; try getting dressed in the morning using only one hand, struggle into a bra, pull up your underwear and shorts after using the toilet, wash your hair, brush and attempt to style that hair, drive or buckle/unbuckle your own seatbelt,cook,all with one hand.  My daughter does my hair in the mornings, my husband helps me with my bra and dressing, my son helps me cook in the evenings. And he loves food! See pix.Family assistance is necessary to make it through the day.  What do people do who don’t have support at home?  I know one friend who immediately filed for divorce after she was done with her cancer treatment! I guess her husband was completely useless.   How’d she do it all herself?  I’m glad a chose my husband wisely.  We dated for 3 years and I chased him until he “caught” me.  LOL!![...]

So I ran my fingers through my hair yesterday, hit a small knot, pulled through as came away with an entire lock of hair!  This was quite disturbing.  I’ve got my sister-in-law lined up to cut my hair with clippers on Sunday, but I don’t know if I’ll make it.  At the rate it’s coming out, in clumps I’ll be bald by Sunday![...]

I asked my husband if I could share some of his info.  Last week we learned, Bryant has an aggressive form of prostate cancer, not just the run of the mill slow growing, but the type where the doctor sits up, takes notice, and takes charge of scheduling so things move along a little faster This Friday he will have an MRI and CT to find out if it has spread to his bones.  We aren’t letting the kids in on this until we know exactly what we are dealing with.  So between the two of us, which one of use will out live the other is a toss up.    We already have guardians selected for our two kids.  See their picture, 8th grade and 11th grade this year.  No, your eyes are not deceiving you, there’s no genetic gene throwback, both kids are adopted.  Leilou from China -‘05, and Tony from Vietnam-‘08. So right now you could call it a shit-storm in my household or just plain hail. We’ll know more next week.  The proverbial hurry up and wait sucks![...]

So,I guess I died this week, well that was the going rumor at my son’s middle school.  How crazy these rumors even get started?  I guess the night janitor is also named Tony, and HIS mother passed away!  My son was completely clueless until the secretary at school handed him a gift card to Walmart. [...]

Here’s my goal to kick this cancer to the curb and ring this bell as loud as I can.  This bell hangs in the waiting room of the radiation clinic at UNMC.  When a patient has completed their treatment regiment they get to ring the bell.  I have just completed my 3rd week of radiation.  My specific treatment protocol calls for a total of 36 weeks!  All I ask is, “Lord give me strength!”[...]

This past weekend my sister in law, Destiny, came and helped clean out my master closet.  Wow! just watching her move around in my closet, pulling out clothes, suitcases, hangers, and purses, made me exhausted.  All I did was identify items as trash or for Goodwill. She worked tirelessly; even running my vacuum over the floor.   This lead her to get a good look at my hall closet.  I feel another closet cleaning date coming up.  Now, while she was helping me with the closet, her fiancé was in the garage helping my husband fix the outside handle of my van which hasn’t successfully open my drivers van door for several months. [...]

I’ve been spotting wayward hairs on my shoulders, shirt, and arms.  I’m looking at each piece of hair with suspicion now.  Is this the beginning of my hair loss?  I’m thankful for my sister in law, Destiny who offered to used electric clippers when I’m ready to go bald.  My first thought for a Halloween costume was to wear overalls, carry a cheap mop, and go as Mr. Clean!![...]