MOUNTAINS

The consensus from the doctors is that instead of risking the Ventriculoperotoneal Shunt going through potentially infected tissue to relieve the "pressure" of fluid buildup, it is safer in his case to just leave him on antibiotics for another week and hope (pray) that pressure buildup does not become an issue.

So I put up some of his MRI pictures (I hope I'm not breaking the law or anything- although, I guess we did pay for them) for any of you interested nerdy types. Follow the PHOTOS tab at the top. I put a little caption by each one briefly explaining it. I'll go ahead and give you my professional radiologist report on each one (I won't charge you $500, either!)

The more RECENT (third round, today- 12/30) scans are on the LEFT, and the older scans (second round- 12/16) are on the RIGHT.

1- *EDIT*- I've since deleted this picture from the album, realizing that it doesn't really help anybody to see that scan. It's really just the hydrocephalus that I'm trying to explain today, anyway. So you won't find this particular scan-slice in the album. In addition- we're not all that interested in other diagnosis opinions, and I'm afraid we'd get a bunch of "Well my friend's nephew's cousin's brain was damaged in the same spot and..." etc. Hope you all understand. Ok, continuing... You can see on the left how bright the bottom left area of the brain is. That area is associated with vision, though it's impossible to tell in what way that will clinically affect him. He can obviously SEE and follows things with his eyes. Like his hearing though, I guess that could potentially get worse. The scan on the left shows the a smaller area, but you can see the areas that are left comparatively darker than the rest of the brain- those are the permanently damaged cells. Those cells (as I mentioned in the "Back-Flip" post, could end up basically dissolving out and be replaced by C.S. fluid... or just stay there, hard to tell.

1-3- These are the pictures that show the obvious Hydrocephalus (water in the brain). The earlier scans on the right side show all of the very bright distressed cells, which have since become NOT inflamed, and/or died and dissolved and gave way for the ventricles (which are typically MUCH smaller) to collect more and more cerebral spinal fluid to replace the space once occupied by brain cells. The... fortunate(?) thing in Brock's case is that his skull has room to move and grow with increased pressure (as with any infant). We just have to make sure that the pressure doesn't get TOO HIGH because that could result in further damage. We will have to keep a close eye on his head circumference and, mainly, his behavior, to stay on top of potential issues. The doctors agreed that this is a better route of treatment than the Ventriculoperotoneal Shunt as of RIGHT NOW. We are praying it doesn't ever necessitate that surgery, but it's at least a possibility.

4- This last picture is just showing again the bright, inflamed tissue on the right with the more average sized-ventricle, and then the less inflamed tissue on the left with the larger than normal space of cerebral spinal fluid.

If any of you are attorneys who happen to think it's not good for me to put these pictures up, would you go ahead and notify me? :-) Thanks.

Our Neurologist that Brock will be seeing for the rest of his life enlightened us a bit as to the "long-term" plan as far as medications go. He's on Phenobarbital, Keppra, and Topamax. He will continue taking each of those meds following the same dosage that he has been on here at the hospital. Brock will eventually gain weight and the dosage will effectively be smaller as they won't change his dosage to continue to match his size. He said that when he has another seizure (not "if", but "when") then we'll discuss in what ways his medication/dosage may need to change. He fully expects that Brock will continue to have seizures long into the future. That would be a harsh and scary reality. He reiterated that seizures are a symptom of the brain damage, and that many of his patients who have damage that is not even visible on an MRI have to take seizure medications constantly. Brock, who has a considerable degree of VISIBLE damage, will likely continue to have seizures as an ongoing symptom.

He sure seems tired at the moment, nice and cute and baby-like. It's hard to believe ANYTHING is wrong when you look at him. He has had trouble with spitting up a lot today for a couple of feeds- this can be a bad sign, we're really hoping it's not one though.

We recognize that nothing is for CERTAIN it seems- and we simply ask that you pray for our peace, patience, comfort, wisdom, and understanding through all of the uncertainty. When I think of the beginnings of the respective faith journeys of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob (Brock's middle name), Joseph, or even the New Testament guys like Peter or especially Paul- all of them seem to have started out in an overwhelming state of uncertainty. Some of them seemed to be uncertain for a considerable amount of time in their ministry (if not most)- perhaps surprised at every turn. I think of Paul who, even in the midst of great adversity (beaten, stoned, whipped, etc), found comfort in knowing the Kingdom was SOMEHOW advancing through God's use of Paul's love for Him. I think of John the Baptist whose task was to "make straight the way of the Lord"- to make the mountains low and raise of the valleys. I wish I could do that for Brock in a very physical sense: make his mountainous hurdles disappear and let all that he faces be flat ground. Taryn and I both feel fairly helpless in this regard, and know that God alone can make the mountains move from in front of him and jump into the sea- and we pray earnestly that, whatever that means, that may happen.

We both feel pretty overwhelmed right now, especially with the beeps and alarms going off every couple minutes (stupid wires...). I know, out of principle, that God is near- pray with us that we experience in more and more real ways how His presence will manifest in this chaos.

“Come to me, all you who are struggling hard and carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest."- Matthew 11:28 (CEB)