Today is Derek's Birthday. Derek would have been 9 years old.
What am I to say? I miss my boy. He was a wonderful person.
It is hard for me to believe that it has only been 2 months since he died. It kind of seems longer than that. Only some of the gut wrenching pain of watching my boy die has lessened. The sense of loss is absolutely still there. I doubt that will ever go away. Some days are better than others. We miss him greatly in so many ways. There is never a day that goes by without thinking of him.
Here is a picture Derek's Tombstone. I think they did an excellent job. The cross in the center is an outline of his actual cross that he held so tightly during his last days. He honestly never let it go, day or night. When his right hand became too weak to hold it, he wanted it in his left hand. I believe without words he was telling us to always hold onto the promise of the cross. Even after he died, the cross was tightly clenched in his hand.
I have tried to sleep with the cross in my hand and it is not necessarily easily done. It can be done, but I am not dying of brain cancer either. So it must have taken him some considerable effort to hold onto that cross!
I did not want Derek to die without him knowing that his dad was proud of him. I am so proud to be Derek's father. The way I see it, Jesus blessed my family with nearly 9 wonderful years with the best son I have ever known. I told him that I was a better person because I knew him. It is true. He made me see life very different. Derek believed in Jesus and he did not fear death. He showed me that death is not something to fear or worry about. What Derek told me and what he showed me about his faith was wonderful to watch and gave me the courage in Christ to face my death with as much maturity and courage as he did.
We miss Derek and on this day we celebrate his life and what a positive impact he left. Even if it is a little sad. I wish my big guy was here, but I am happy to know that he is in Heaven with Jesus.
Happy 9th Birthday Derek
That's all for now