How's Don doing?
Good question!
As many of you may know, I have two children from my first marriage who have significant disabilities and medical needs due to being born extremely prematurely. (And Becca is tied for best stepmom in the world, with her sister-in-law Margot.) As a result, I have been in and around hospitals a lot - I joke that I am getting my MD the hard way, one specialty at a time - neonatology, neurology, neurosurgery, orthopedic surgery, psychiatry, and now breast surgery and oncology - I may have missed some. So I have developed a habit of being fairly resilient and positive in the face of difficult medical news.
Unfortunately, that (and the general stiff upper lip that is socialized into men in our society) sometimes masks the fact that I'm falling apart inside - which comes out later when I hear a sad song in a playlist and I start crying.
My many years of Buddhist practice are a plus, both because I am skilled in meditation practices which allow me to be with difficult emotions without being (as) overwhelmed by them, and because the teachings themselves powerfully remind us of our impermanence. Ironically, I am doing a set of Tibetan practices called Ngondro, and have been working intensively with meditation on impermanence, one of a group of contemplations called the Four Thoughts. That contemplation was made much more real and salient by Becca's diagnosis, and its reminder of our limited time here.
We have a wonderful calligraphy by our teacher Thich Nhat Hanh that says: "Be there for each other". That's what we'll be trying to do.
Comments (13)
I'm someone asked you that, or you just knew we were asking, Don, and answered the unasked question. It does seem as if you have had more than your fair share, but hopefully you do have those with whom you can let go. We all need that. Betty
And what a good teacher you are even when you are scared and worried. The two of you together and the expert medical team will find the path to wellness. My love and caring to you dear Don and Becca
Thank you I wanted to reach out but wanted to give you space too. I've been sending you my love and good wishes. I dedicate my cushion time to Becca!
Sending support and loving care to you both, Don!
Sending you metta and equanimity in this beautiful morning light.....
You ,too, are in my heart Don. In some ways your role in this is the hardest.
Thanks Don for your words of wisdom and for rolling with the adversities life provides. I have thought of you often during this journey and send kind thoughts and love.
Thanks, Don, for sharing. Thinking of you as well as Becca during this time. Both of you are such great role models. And, we all need people who are there for us.
Don, thanks for your deep sharing. You've been through so many challenges in this life - I admire you for your courage and resiliency. My heart goes out to both you and Becca as you navigate together through these troubling waters. Sending metta and healing energy your way.
Thank you Don for your open-hearted and wise-minded sharing. How you are doing is a very important part of the picture. I respect that you are candid, and admire your strong practice and resilience, yet know you too need support, love and understanding. May you, Sam and Sara get the TLC you need, just as Becca needs. Interconnected!
Don, Know that a multitude of prayers, from friends, family, and connected community are converging around you both, and offering strength, fortitude, and support.
Don and Becca, thinking warm musical thoughts for you. Call any time, as I will be thinking of you. Brian
Hi Don, I've just learned of this new set of challenges your family is facing. Thank you for establishing this lovely way to communicate with us and to receive support and caring good wishes for the many many people who love and care for you and Becca. Glad to hear of today's news that it is BRCA2 gene and I hope future news is equally promising and helpful for determining what are the next best steps for treatment. Very best wishes and love and support to you both.