Becca is home!
Becca had a good night. She and Margot were interrupted several times by MDs and RN and NAs, but otherwise she (and Margot slept ok. Her pain was well controlled most of the night and all day today even though the block has worn off. Her wonderful surgeon and the residents came by early this morning before I got there. She gave us her cell phone number in case we have questions.
Becca took a long walk around the hospital floor last night, followed by a few squats and lunges, with support and company from the RN. This morning she and Anita took a walk in a rooftop outdoor patio off the 4th floor of the hospital.
After I got there this morning, we had visits from an OT with a set of exercises for her arms to do twice a day, and with a pharmacy intern who told us what pain meds we would be taking at home, and answered our questions about managing constipation due to the oxycodone. Then after a long wait (the nurse was busy with new patients coming up to the floor right after surgery), the nurse arrived, went over our discharge instructions and made sure we knew how to manage the drains (the tubing needs to be stripped into the bulb twice a day, and the bulbs need to be emptied periodically and the quantity recorded), and how to handle showering, replacing the bandages, and cleaning the sites where the drains emerge from her sides.
Then we packed up and Margot wheeled Becca down while I got the car, and we drove home.
Becca is sleeping now, catching up on the interrupted sleep from last night, upstairs in her bed.
I got to sleep at home last night (thank you, Margot), and got a good night's sleep. I haven't meditated or done my spiritual practice in a couple days, and I can feel the difference - my feelings feel more solid and important, especially. I'll have to be careful to continue to practice and pay attention to my inner life as I care for Becca. I have some trauma from all the medical interventions in my children's life during their first dozen years or so, creating a kind of "caregiver-itis" that can develop if I don't watch for it, and take care of it when it arises.
I very much appreciated the support from our friends these last couple days - particularly Anita, Steven, Martha, Jeff, and Jim - who visited me or Becca or were prepared to do so - but also all the prayers and well wishes that were expressed by all of you. Margot read all the comments from my posts yesterday to Becca yesterday evening, and there was also separate emails and in person support.
We got home after 2 PM. We're glad to be home.
My father's caregivers are primarily directing updates to my sister Nancy in these first few days of caring for Becca, but I talked to Nancy last night and it sounds like he had a better day yesterday than the day before - they didn't need to start him on morphine as they thought they might, and he was accepting the oxygen for more of the day. My sister is planning to go there next Thursday, but will go earlier if needed - so I will focus on caring for Becca, unless and until it becomes clear his time is near.
Now I'm off the pharmacy to buy A&D ointment.
Comments (22)
What a journey...grateful that all is well and that support has been given and received. Love and best wishes to you two!
So glad Becca is home, and that you don't have to chose between caring for her and being with your father, at least for now. And so wonderful to be past the stage where they poison and cut and onto the stage that focuses on healing and strength.
Dear Don, thank you for sharing so fully and deeply. Mary M. and I send love and caring to you both. May the healing journey continue.
Becca, May you be well....... may you be safe......... may you be joyful..... may you and those providing care and support for you be peaceful and at ease.
שבת שלום dear ones . May peace and tranquility be with you, Bilha
Great! love to all
So happy Becca is home and doing well. Take good care of yourself, Don (as you know how to do). Love to you both. Diane
Don: Sending lots of love to you and Becca. I talked to Nancy and got an update on your dad. You have a lot to handle. Sending healing thoughts to you. Love, Susie
Thanks for sharing the good news! Sending much love and good wishes to all!
Thanks for sharing Don. What a journey the two of you have been on. Love to you both.
Thank you, Don. The final healing leg of the long journey has begun for Becca. Your father is at the end of a different long arc. So many feelings rise up. Much to reflect on. Thankfully you have the spiritual skills for your own journey too. Love and Peace to you, Don.
Marvelous!
Wow, way to go Krantz/Katz team. Almost record time for discharge I presume. Be kind to yourself, Becca. We are headed to the cabin.....sorry you missed a respite there but it might be more important when you can truly de stress. Don, good for you knowing that past health trauma does not leave a caregivers muscle memory in the brain. Be good to yourself too. And may your Dad, you and your sister be at peace at this time of significant passage.
Wow, way to go Krantz/Katz team. Almost record time for discharge I presume. Be kind to yourself, Becca. We are headed to the cabin.....sorry you missed a respite there but it might be more important when you can truly de stress. Don, good for you knowing that past health trauma does not leave a caregivers muscle memory in the brain. Be good to yourself too. And may your Dad, you and your sister be at peace at this time of significant passage.
Thanks for the update Don. I am so happy that the surgery is over and you have had the help you need to get to go home and care for Becca and yourself at home. There is so much on your plate, but I can almost feel the uplifting from the community of supporters, well-wishers and doers that are here. What a blessing. Love, Gerri
May you both be snoring as I type. ❤️❤️
Thank you for the informative and reflective update, Don. I hope Sam and Sarah are traversing Becca's and your dad's challenges as well as the two of you seem to be.
Becca and Don thanks for walking this difficult path with such grace. It is inspiring and delightfull to read. Yesterday at the Zen Center a stick of incense was placed on the altar honoring Becca and her recovery. May you both continue your wonderful path of healing and transformation.
Dear Becca and Don, I just wanted to send some love to you two. My mom sent me to your site a while back and periodically I have checked back to see how you guys are doing. It sounds like you have been handling this with true grace and are teaching by example. Becca, I send healing wishes as you recover from surgery and Don, I send support to you as you navigate the territory of caregiver with a vibrant inner-life! You two have my prayers. Love, Amelie (and Denny who has been sending her good wishes too)
Welcome home Becca. And wishing you both at least little and growing spaces of normality.
Thanks for sharing this personal journey. I read all the posts with care and love. Welcome home Becca!
Yes, thank you so much for your time and effort at keeping us all up to speed. Bless you. Be gentle with your self and each other--this is huge.