It's been a minute. Liza's eulogy.

Way back when, I said I'd include Liza's eulogy, etc here. Then I dropped the ball because frankly I wasn't sure anyone was listening. But I just reread Liza's eulogy which was delivered by her best friend, Mary, with whom she had planned to live after graduation. It is just so darned good that I'm going to throw this message in a bottle and toss it out to sea. Hopefully some lucky folks will find it and share it with the world!

Eulogizing my best friend, Liza Burke. 

I’m Mary and Liza was my best friend for eight years. Psychologists say if a friendship lasts longer than seven years, it will last a lifetime. So last year I let Liza know we were officially lifelong friends, and she was stuck with me. I’m sure many of you share that same distinction because that’s just how Liza made you feel. She was discerning, not just anyone could be her friend, but your presence here today means you are part of that group. She knew how to pick people that added value to her life and to the world, just as she did. 

When you’re young you are often told to look for certain qualities in a friend. I’m sure many of us were told that friends make you feel good; they listen, share, laugh and play together. A friend should like you for who you are and push you to be all you can be. A good friend cheers you up when you’re sad and keeps you company when you’re lonely. 

On Earth Day a few years ago Liza, Ziggy, and I decided to go down to Pisgah and find a little spot to hangout and swim. I packed a few snacks, and we loaded up in the Jeep. Obviously, windows down, music loud, singing the whole hour down there. We ended up at Cove Creek which soon became a favorite of ours. Laying in the grass field looking up, laughing, talking, and more singing. Ziggy stayed close by, and hours passed. As the sun peeked through the clouds, we explored the creek and Liza did the honors by sliding down the natural rockslide first. She was the braver one, so I “let” her go first and test the freezing cold waters as she often did.On the next round she fell in behind me and held onto my shoulders and I her ankles as we slid down the rock together. 

We made a mandatory stop at Dolly’s for an ice cream cone on our way home and Liza locked her keys inside the car. Being as resourceful as she was, she starts looking for sticks to pull the lock up through the cracked window. We asked some strangers for help but ultimately called triple A. Waiting didn’t bother us that day. An hour later a guy shows up and his more refined stick does the trick. We’re off, no sweat. Back to singing, windows down, with another story in the book. 

Simply put, a perfect day with Liza was punctuated by the loss of her car keys and her laid back “shit happens” kind of attitude. 

Liza was everything I was told to look for in a best friend; 

●  She was a sit-together in silence, laugh for hours, talk about everything and anything friend. 
●  She was a spontaneous day trip, no matter the season, weather, or time of day friend. 
●  She was a lead from the front and know when to hold your hand friend. 
●  She was a make room for you to feel friend, 
●  She was a value your opinions and ideas friend. 
●  She was a “ wasn’t afraid to tell the truth or represent for what she deemed right friend” . 
More than a friend, Liza was a daughter and a sister first. You would never guess she was the youngest. She led in our friendship and in her family. Her childhood friend Meg remembers Liza by saying: 

I saw this firsthand in the way that Liza cared for her sister, Edie. While she looked up to Edie and revered her as an older sister, Liza knew that Edie needed special love and care, and this Liza gave abundantly. I have never seen a prouder Liza than when she would introduce a friend, neighbor, or stranger to her sister. I am one of many who experienced the comfort and joy of having Liza as a protector, defender, and promoter. There is nothing Liza loved more than celebrating, and she took such pride in uplifting and supporting her people. It’s a rare person who can balance fierce protection with tenderness and a light, joyful spirit. Liza always called Edie her angel, and it doesn’t surprise me that Liza’s life would be influenced by the magic of an angel in the form of a sibling. 

These early experiences, caring for and loving her sister so fiercely shaped the Liza we knew. Once you had her love, it was unwavering, it was loyal, resilient, and powerful. You could see it in her treatment of animals, her patience with her students in Mexico, her direction on the field hockey field, and her calling of the dawgs. She was a natural leader, having learned the art of nurturing from birth. 

Liza’s love extended to and emanated from the love of her mother Laura. They shared best friend moments regularly, but it was always clear that the special relationship of mother and daughter took precedent. This was evident through the amount of quality time they spent with one another and the joy they both exuded when together; whether it was hanging out on the dock at Lake Norman, making dinner in the kitchen, supporting the Dawgs and Panthers, or watching the sunset in San Pancho. Their relationship was open, warm, and affectionate. They balanced respect and goofiness and shared their lives with one another. Liza would come back from a CrossFit workout at Laura’s gym and just be in awe. She admired her mother’s strength and wit, making it clear in her expression of love for her. They brought out the best in each other as they mirrored that deep love of life and adventure. 

Liza was loved and adored by her family from every part of the country. Growing up on Melrose with her Mom, Dad, Edie, and Jack she was engulfed in all of the neighborhood familial love. Liza could always be caught performing a gymnastics routine or singing a solo. With Grankitty just down the street, Liza would pop in frequently whether it was for a tea party, brunch, or to fix the TV. Lake Norman days were spent diving to the bottom and racing her cousins across the lake. Meepaw and Meemaw knew how to bring the family together and celebrate life over beers, laughs, and delicious food. Liza became a frequent flier early on. Skiing, hiking, cliff jumping, and more swimming with her aunts, uncles, and cousins. From a young age, her brother Jack showed Liza what it means to be independent, fiery, fair, and caring. The only time she’d fall in line was behind Jack when skiing black diamonds out west. 

In the hospital, I cuddled up with Liza in her bed and slept with her. For the type of best friends that rarely touch it was somewhat unfamiliar. I read her more love notes from you all as we had throughout her stay. I felt her heart beating and held her hand. I talked to her about what she might expect in Heaven. Played her a story from a man who had died and came back. The joy of his memories flashing in 
front of him and the ease in which he described death made it sound like stepping into the next room. I think it probably comforted me more than her. She was never scared of dying, more concerned with living as much as she could. 

In her short but beautiful life, Liza did a whole lot of living.... While studying abroad in Barcelona last spring, her adventurous spirit led her on many solo outings. Sometimes she’d call as she enjoyed some gelato and walked around. Her pursuit of all things was unbounded. She wasn’t confined to a singular hobby or interest. She pursued experiences of all kinds. Live music, art, nature, language, culture, dancing and singing. It was fun that she loved. She found love inside herself long before most young people do. She was on this Earth to devour fun in all forms, spread her love, and serve as an example of life done well. Living like Liza is a choice that she made every day. Seeking out new experiences, relationships, and opportunities even if it meant doing it alone. 

Because of Liza, I hope you dare to love more intensely and share your voice more urgently than ever. To live like Liza means to dance when everyone’s looking, to speak your mind no matter the audience, to implement positivity in the wake of difficulty, to choose your own company sometimes, and to never let fear or doubt stand in the way of a new experience. 

So now where do we find Liza? We’ll find her in only the most beautiful sunsets and rainbows. We’ll see her spirit live on in the dolphins as they splash playfully through the vast open seas. We’ll hear her harmonious voice in her favorite country songs. We’ll feel her in our darkest moments. We’ll breathe her in amidst the mountain air. As the windows roll down, we’ll delight in goosebumps crawling up our skin and the wind blowing through our hair. She’ll live in our memories and continue to show up when we least expect it. 

I find Liza in the birds that aren’t scared of rain. On the final leg of my eight-hour drive to Jacksonville I asked Liza, God, the universe, and anyone that would listen to send me a sign. A few moments later, amid a flash flood warning I saw two black birds perched on the light post above. It’s signs like these that serve as extraordinary messages in our ordinary lives. I know she takes the utmost delight in sprinkling our lives with little hints of her. She’s likely to show off her new wings in unimaginable ways so be mindful of the timing and repetition. Trust your intuition and believe that her messages are crafted uniquely for you. 

Hebrews 13:2 says, “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” 

... 

Knowing and loving Liza means we can all confidently say we’ve been in the presence of an angel.