October 23, 2016

i have so much to say but it's all jumbled in my head and my heart, so it's hard to put it all down in any organized way.

Things after surgery were tough. It's hard to be away from him but it's also hard to see him this way, and to not be able to provide him any comfort. I can't explain that strange feeling of NEEDING your baby but having to call a nurse when he needs something you cannot provide. Even though it's been hard, I must say these nurses are incredible.

They saved my baby.

They saved my baby and everyday I get to wake up to my son, I will think of them and be grateful.  

Louis is doing so well. His feeding tube has been removed and he is completely off all IV medications. Today we were able to walk right into his room and pick him up. And then I was able to feed him. I was able to feed him three times today. All of these normal quiet moments between mother and baby have a whole new preciousness to them. 

I have so much to say but I'm struggling to know exactly what to share and how to say it. Let me sleep on it...